It was a cold winter day on the tour bus and I was snuggled up in my girlfriend's covers. Fifth Harmony was still opening for Austin Mahone and my girlfriend begged me to come on this tour with her. I mean, it's not my favorite place to be but I make it work for her.
Camila left me on the bus by myself while her and the girls went out to get some coffee because she knows I'm not a morning person at all. I finally drifted off back to sleep when I heard the bus' door open and the girls started giggling. I rolled my eyes and turned over towards the wall in the bunk. Just pretend to be asleep and they'll leave you alone to rest. But no such thing would happen. Before I knew it, a small girl crawled in my bunk to snuggle close to me. I didn't budge until she started to leave small kisses on my neck making me squirm and feel so ticklish. Her raspy voice and hot breath hit my ear, "I knew you weren't really asleep, babe."
I could feel her wrap her arms around my waist and I pressed myself further into her. I giggled feeling her breath on the flesh of my skin. "Well, aren't you a detective."
She was not fond of my sarcasm most of the time, and this was one of those times. "Get up, babe."
I groaned, "Can't we just lay here and cuddle for a little bit?"
I could feel her arms tense up around the lower part of my waist. "You know I can't do that, Y/N. I have Meet and Greets and interviews today."
I rolled my eyes in jealousy. I hate that she always has to put her career over our relationship. We used to be so inseparable. I met her after she tried out on X-factor, I was one of the crew members. I don't usually do those kind of shows, but my uncle made me work with him because he was basically the one that kept the show together. I don't regret it now because that's where I met the girls and my Mila, but it sucks to have a hidden relationship with someone you want to tell the world about. Especially when people ship your girlfriend with someone that's not you. It's almost heartbreaking every time I see a 'camren' or a 'camaustin' post, or tweet. I mean, how would you feel if people wanted the one person you love the most to love someone else?
Camila could tell I was mentally abusing myself about this whole career thing so she caught my attention by pressing her lips to my neck again, "Babe. I'm not kidding, wake up."
I scoffed, "Yeah, right. Go without me. I have no reason to be there."
"Look at me, please."
I turned my body to face Mila and her deep brown eyes almost intoxicated me in one glance. "Y/N, just because you and I aren't public doesn't mean you don't belong there. You belong there just as much as I do. You helped me make it this far and I want to share this with you." All Camila would have to do was stare into my eyes and bite her lip and she knew she had me wrapped around her finger. Like always. "So, what do you say?"
I sighed and brushed a strand of Camila's hair behind her ear and smiled, "I guess I'm going."
She got so excited she began to squeal and spaz out in happiness. "Yay! You won't regret it, I swear. We will go on a cute date tonight I promise."
She kissed my lips and I slowly pressed my tongue onto the part of her lips to ask for entrance. Once she allowed me to come in we both battled together with our tongues. It started out slow but began to get pretty heated, and I liked it. All the passion Camila had was such a turn on to me.
I heard a knock on the side of the bunk and then Dinah spoke to us, interrupting our moment. "Okay, love birds. We have to get ready to leave for the Meet and Greet."
I sighed and looked as Mila pulled away and smiled, "We will continue this later." I nodded as she slipped herself out of the bunk and pulled the curtain open. "Promise me you'll get up, get dressed, and meet me outside in a hour." I nodded and she scrunched up her face. "Pinky Promise?" She extended her hand and showed me her pinky. I curled mine around hers and she pushed herself close to me to give me a quick peck on the lips before letting go of my pinky.
The girls left me on the bus and I decided to get out to take a shower, and put on some skinnys, a Civil x Lohan Baseball Jersey, and some black socks. I went through the bus digging everywhere to find my black converse shoes. After I found them in Ally's drawer, I slipped them on without tying the strings and hopped out of the tour bus to stroll down to where the M&G destination was. Except the girls and their screaming fans weren't anywhere to be seen. I guess the M&G ended earlier than I expected. Although I did hear a basketball being dribbled from far away so I decided to go searching for everyone in the direction of the sound. That's when I saw it, the thing that has me feeling every emotion except joy. All I could think about was sadness, rejection, and heartbreak. Camila was pulled in by Austin with his hands on her waist. Her face was a bit unsettled as if she didn't really want to get closer to him, but she didn't pull away. I got closer to view the moment better and gasped when I saw his lips collide with hers. My heart was officially in pieces now.
Camila heard my gasp and looked up at me, "Oh my God, Y/n." I turned around and started sprinting with tears in my eyes. I could hear her yelling, "Come back, please!" But I wasn't going to. I felt so angry yet so clueless, and useless. I knew I never stood a chance with Camila Cabello. Why did I ever think I could be something to her? I ran as fast as I could inside to the catering area to find Ally. She always comforted me when I was going through a hard time with Camila or my family and that's why she was one of my closest friends. I knew I looked so distraught as I eyed every area of the somewhat crowded room to finally find the girls sitting at a table in the corner laughing. I walked over and couldn't help but pour myself out on Ally and wrap my arms around her in a hug which automatically was returned when she bear hugged me back. "y/n, are you okay?"
I sniffled and wiped the tears from my eyes and shook my head. "No, Ally. It's Mila." I laid my head back on her shoulder.
Ally brushed her fingers through my Hair and tried her best to comfort me, "What about Camila, sweetie?"
I could feel her rest her chin on my head, "She kissed Austin."
Ally gasped. "Look at me." I pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes. "Are you sure she kissed him?"
I nodded feeling so insecure about the fact that I was just cheated on. I was more angry now than sad, "Well, I'm pretty sure when he grabbed her hips and pulled her in to suck her face that she didn't really pull away."
Ally raised her left eyebrow, "Don't get sassy with me, I'm just asking, Hun." A giggle left her lips as she tried to make good out of this bad situation. That's when my phone started vibrating like crazy. I pulled it out of my pocket to see I got 3 missed calls and 15 texts from Camila in the last 4 minutes.
Camila: baby. I can explain if you just let me see you I'll tell you what happened. I love you.
I decided it was time to text her back.
Y/N: you're going to explain how you just hurt me? cause I don't want to talk about it. I never would've hurt you like this.
Camila: where are u? are you with the girls? I'll come by and make this better please.
Y/N: don't bother. you won't find me with them. I need to be alone.
Camila: y/n please don't do this. you're hurting yourself more than you need to. really.
Y/N: no you're hurting me more than you needed to.
I didn't text her back after that because I really did want some time alone. Also, I didn't want to be found by Camila. The one thing I do to torture her when we fight is that I like to hide away for a while. Sometimes she finds me and sometimes she doesn't, but it always teaches her a lesson. This time I wasn't planning on teaching her a lesson, I was planning on just being alone and crying. No lesson could make this mistake better. I walked away from the girls almost in a trance like stage. I didn't even notice the girls were still trying to talk to me. I just got away from Ally's grasp and walked into a nearby, empty dressing room to lock the door and plop on the dusty old couch. All I could do was cry with my face in my hands.
--
I never noticed I dozed off, but I guess I could expect that since I basically cried out all the energy I had at the time. I checked my phone and noticed it said '7:34'. I cursed to myself and walked out of the room. All the hallways were lit up with bright florescent lights so my eyes burned trying to get used to the drastic change in lighting. The girls should still be performing so, that means I'll have time to go back to the bus and pack my bags. The pain hurts way too much to stay and know that Camila cheated on me.
Once I finally made it into the bus, I started digging through the mess in mine and Camila's bunk. Once all my shit was packed in a ratty old sports duffle, I knew I needed to hurry and get the hell out of that bus before they saw me, but as soon as I made it to the door it opened revealing a sweaty Ally.
My eyes widened in surprised because I was caught. Ally walked up the stairs and examined my body language and duffle. "Are you leaving?" I nodded and gave her a hug before trying to walk out of the bus once again, but I was pulled back by the strap on my bag. I looked back to see Ally now a bit more upset. "You can't just leave without saying goodbye to Camila."
"She seems happier with Austin, why should I care?" I pulled away from her grasp on my strap and walked off the bus to be face to face with the rest of the girls, even Mila. They all stared at me for a while before Lauren asked, "Where are you going?"
"Home." That's all I could say before I saw all of their heads turn towards Camila.
"Will you guys go inside, please? I need to talk to y/n." Camila asked in her soft and silky voice that was almost gone thanks to her performance. She wasn't as sweaty as the rest, but she definitely had a glow. Her eyes were brimming up with tears and her hands were reaching out for me. But I knew that if I let her even touch me, I'd be putty in her hands. So, I put my hands in my skinny Jean pockets and waited for her to say what she needed.
Camila retreated her hands back and sighed, "What you saw was so misconstrued, y/n. I would never fuck up our relationship and you know that."
I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "Don't try to manipulate me, Camila. I saw what I saw. He kissed you and-"
"Exactly. He kissed me!" She yelled interrupting me.
"...but you didn't pull away." I mumbled knowing she heard it clearly.
We both grew quiet. All you could hear were sounds of pre-pubescent girls screeching in the background, and then one of Austin's songs came on. I've had enough of him. So, I pushed past Camila, but she grabbed onto my arm harshly. One tear fell down her tan face and she brushed her fingers through her long, brown locks. "Just hear me out," Camila tried to clear her throat so she wouldn't sound so shaky, but she had no luck. "I'm not supposed to tell you about this, but I really don't want you to leave."
I was more angry than anything at the moment. "Look, save it!"
"Just hear me out, y/n, please!" She begged at the top of her lungs. I stopped and just turned to face her so she could try to explain. Although, I don't know if I can believe her. "Management wanted to do this. Austin was figuring out about us more and more. He would've had a field day releasing info to further his career and this tour. I didn't want this relationship to become something that the public would just mess with like usual." By this time Camila was crying, and I was on the verge of tears myself.
"So, I'm always gonna be your little secret? I've been that for 3 years and I'm tired, Camila. I'm so tired. Let them have a field day, I can take it." I demanded with tears muffling my words.
"Well, I can't. Y/n, I love you and I never want to see you hurt by the rumors or bullshit that other people would say. Our relationship is... was strong. I'll do anything to have you stay with me for 300 more years. You're my little secret for now, but soon the whole word will know about you and then you'll just be my girlfriend. Just please stay, and I promise you that I'll make it up to you, and I'll stay away from Austin...I'll do whatever it takes."
I sighed feeling one of my tears slide down my cheek as I quickly wiped it off. "I don't know, Camila."
Camila sniffled and looked down at her feet, "See, this is how I know we're through."
"How?"
"When you call me Camila. You always say nick names unless you're trying to get my attention, or we have a fight. But you've said it a lot tonight." She was breaking and it hurt for me to see it, so I turned around and started walking. I heard her exhale and say to me, "Just please stay for tonight, y/n. I'll make it up to you, I swear."
I stopped in my tracks knowing that even if I left, I'd still love her. Even if I got on a plane, I'd still be broken. Even if I started a brand new life without her, there's still a missing piece to my puzzle.
I turned around with tears blurring my vision and saw that Camila was now sitting on the ground. I walked back towards her and sat beside her and flung my duffle bag to the side of the bus. I answered her with a small sarcastic tone, "This better be a good ass night."
A/N:
I originally posted this on tumblr, but I really wanted to post this on here too. This will probably be a mini-series depending on the feedback. Hope yall liked it. Vote, Comment, and Share please. xx. -agf