Zayn POV
It was quiet.
No complete silence, because Stefan was still mocking in the background to Niall and Nathan about how Louis and me ruined our chance on more money. But it was still quiet… between Louis and I. We hadn’t said a word from the moment we jumped in Niall’s car. I want so say so much but somehow I’m at loss for words, because how the heck did all of this happen? One moment I’m preparing for a new job, the other moment I’m standing in front of the girl I so want to avoid in situations like this.
I chose her to be my priority. Grabbing her was only logic to me, and I couldn’t be more relieved she was standing on my side instead of Stefan’s or Nathan’s. I don’t even want to think about what could’ve happened if those roles were reversed.
And the fact me and Louis were the ones with the guns close to the two girls, gave me the idea everything would go fine. Even when Stefan turned around to Louis, telling him he should shoot the girl... I knew he wasn’t going to shoot her. But then he pointed the gun at Harry and it took me off guard. Because I did not expect that.
Maybe I didn’t think about Harry because he’s a man and he can take care of himself. Maybe I didn’t think of him because he was standing alone and nobody was aiming at him. Or maybe my focus was just too drawn to Evelyn that I wasn’t able to think properly anymore, knowing very well that those two ‘heroic’ lads are in far more danger from the moment they decide to make a move.
Harry moved.
Louis shot.
And I don’t know which one of them made the worst mistake.
Sitting next to Louis during the car ride feels like ages compared to other times where we chat quietly in the back. He doesn’t even look at me now. He’s staring outside his window, just like I am, preparing all the things we were going to say from the moment we would be alone together.
And when that time arrives, I don’t hold back.
‘WHY the fuck did you shoot?’ I yell at Louis from the moment we enter his room and I know Stefan is downstairs.
‘What was I supposed to do, Zayn?’ He bites back. ‘Shoot the girl? Like Nathan warned him? I’m not killing a pregnant lady.’
‘You could’ve killed him!’
But he rolls his eyes at me. ‘I knew what I was doing! Shoulder isn’t that bad.’
I scoff at those words. ‘You sound like Stefan.’
Louis suddenly turns around on his heel and walks back to me with such an angry expression, I’m almost afraid of him. ‘You sound like someone who doesn’t even know how this game works!’ He yells at me. ‘Because seeing a girl is not how this thing works, Zayn. Getting conflicted with people who know or don’t know about the stuff we do is not how this game works. And when you play wrong, things happen and people get fucking hurt!’
‘Don’t y-…’
But he interrupts me straight away. ‘You need to be happy it wasn’t Evelyn. Because this could’ve been the end, you realize that?’ Louis is raging on and on and my mind is barely able to keep track. ‘If Nathan was the one with the pregnant chick, he would’ve killed her. Evelyn would’ve reacted. You would’ve protected her. And I would probably be dead right now.’
The last bit confuses me.
‘Why you?’ I ask, feeling stupid for even going along with his hypothetic story.
We are standing two feet away from each other, but it feels like a mile at least.
‘Because we have each other’s back.’ He just says, with an expression like he wants to tell me something else but it just doesn’t make any sense.
‘Yeah right.’ I snap instead. ‘I don’t think that’s the case anymore, Louis. I thought we agreed on not shooting, but you didn’t care. That’s just it. You don’t care anymore.’
And from the instant I pronounce the last word, he shoots his eyes down, turns around and heads to the door, leaving me even more confused about his behaviour than I already am.
‘You’re spot on Zayn. I don’t care.’ He mutters while he makes his way out of the room. ‘I don’t fucking care.’
His last words linger in my head and I keep standing there for at least a couple of minutes, realizing this is the first actual fight we have. And I never really thought about how it would feel to fight with him. We don’t disagree on much. We have each other’s back, even when we don’t agree. But something changed and I can’t find any good reason for it nor am I able to pin point the actual moment it changed. It wasn’t like I saw a change in him until the moment he shot Harry and I felt Evelyn react to the sound and the sight in my arms. And I don’t know if I felt more hurt because Harry got shot or because of her reaction seeing it happen. Probably a combination of both.
‘Zayn?’ I suddenly get startled out of my thoughts when I hear Niall’s voice in the room. He’s leaning against the doorframe that separates his room from the one I’m standing in. My eyes meet him for a few moments, until I realize I really don’t want to talk right now and I start to move away.
‘Zayn, wait. I really think you should know this but Louis-…’
‘No, Niall.’ I interrupt him holding one arm up, telling him to stop. ‘Don’t want to hear it.’
‘You should listen because-…’
‘I do what I want.’ I make him shut up. ‘I don’t want to hear about Louis or anyone. I had a crap night and I just want to go to bed and fucking forget what happened.’
‘That’s not going to work…’
‘I don’t care.’
‘Then listen to me, because Louis-…’
‘SHUT UP ABOUT HIM!’
‘NO, YOU SHUT UP!’ Niall suddenly yells, making me surprised because Niall never really yells. ‘I know why Louis shot the guy.’
I’m silent for a couple of seconds before I answer him.
‘I do to.’
‘No you don’t?!’ Niall raises his eyebrow, walking closer to where I stand.
‘I do.’
‘But you told him he didn’t care.’ He sounds so confused I almost feel empathy for him, until I realize he shouldn’t even know about this.
‘You should stop doing that, Niall.’
‘Stop doing what?’
‘Listen to our conversations.’
‘Then let me join in.’ He rolls his eyes like it’s the obvious thing to do. ‘And by the way, I was not even trying here. I can’t help it that these walls are thin like paper.’
He has a point there.
‘Again, Zayn… Why did you tell him he doesn’t care when you know the reason.’
‘He doesn’t care because he’s only thinking about himself.’
‘That’s bulls-’
‘No it’s not. He doesn’t care for me having people in my life other than him. He can’t deal with it. He rather shoots them. Because out of all the times Stefan ordered him to shoot someone, he decides to shoot now? Knowing very well I know two people in the fucking room we are in? He just doesn’t car-’
‘Stefan ordered him to do it.’ Niall interrupts me for the millionth time, but because of his words, I’m not stopping him this time. ‘Before we went to the café, he came here when you weren’t and told Louis he had to shoot tonight. Like I said, these walls are thin like paper. I wasn’t even trying to hear what they were saying, but I did. He threatened him with killing all the other people in the room, including you. Your gun had one bullet in it, Zayn. Stefan asked you in the car to give them a scare shot. But that’s the only thing you were able to do. Stefan made sure you would not be able to defend yourself with it. Louis’ gun also had one bullet. Only one was necessary to do the job. Nathan’s wasn’t even loaded. And Stefan had his own gun in the back of his pants.’ The more he’s telling me, the more I start to feel the need to sit down. ‘What I understand from what has happened is that Stefan told him to shoot a pregnant girl? Stefan muttered something about it in the car. And the father to be was the bartender. So Louis had four options: shoot the girl, which he couldn’t do… obviously. Shoot the father to be, but that wasn’t even an option because he was standing behind the bar and he was necessary to get the money. Shoot Evelyn, but he would never do that to you. So his only option was the second dude, who, considering Stefan’s words, was standing further away.’ His words all make more sense to me than I ever thought they would. ‘Louis is smart, Zayn. Because Stefan never told anything about killing someone. Louis couldn’t shoot anyone from up close because that would make too much of an impact. So he shot a person who was standing further away, like the second dude. He chose for the shoulder, knowing very well it would not be a killing move to make. He’s smart. He cares. He has your back. So stop thinking he doesn’t because that’s going to the reason he decides to kill next time.’
His last words hit me like a knife.
I get this furious feeling of utter anger when I think about Stefan making up all these sick mind games, bothering Louis with it along the way and on top of it succeeding getting me angry with Lou. Because in the end… That’s what it’s all about. I told it to Louis on the phone when he was at Evelyn’s place. Stefan’s trying to part us and somewhere along the way he’s actually making this work.
‘Well, thank you Niall.’ We suddenly hear from the other door, leading to the hallway. Louis is standing there with his arms folded, giving me the feeling he heard the complete story. ‘Thank you for clearing that up, although I kind of hoped Zayn would’ve realized it himself.’
Niall shrugs. ‘He just needed a little push in the back there.’ He tries to put things in perspective.
‘A big push you mean.’ Louis raises his eyebrow.
I nod at his words. ‘Kind of felt like I fell off a cliff there, Niall.’ I mutter in response, making everyone go silent for a couple of seconds.
Until I suddenly hear Louis’ chuckle. ‘That was the worst joke ever, Malik.’
I look up at him and see him in the same position, the only difference is that he’s smiling now.
‘Yeah. It wasn’t very good.’ Niall agrees.
‘It wasn’t even meant as joke.’ I try to defend myself but Louis shakes his head while walking into the room.
‘That was such a bad joke I’m actually doubting our friendship right here.’
Now it’s my turn to frown. ‘That’s the only reason you doubt it?’
‘Only reason…’ He agrees, with a smirk featuring his face.
‘You could have more.’ I mutter.
He nods. ‘You have yours too. I shot your friend. I think that’s worse than you thinking I don’t care.’
‘We’ll I think it kind of evens it out, if you ask me.’ Niall jumps in, trying to avoid another discussion. But I’m not going to start one.
We stand there for a while. All three of us realizing this is what we have. This is what we get. And this is, for now, all we need.
And this is also the moment I particularly - because Louis knew it a long time ago - realize that I don’t only have one friend here…
But two.
The Irish mate.
And the blue eyed sidekick.