October 11th, 2006
11:09 AM
MJ POV
"I never thought this was possible, but you may be a bigger perfectionist than me," Pops said, rubbing his face. I shook my head.
"Nah I don't think so." Pops looked at me in disbelief as Ne-Yo started laughing. Pops had brought in Ne-Yo to work with me a month earlier since we hadn't made much progress during the summer. Ne-Yo was fresh off the wave of his own debut album and had also been writing hits for other people such as Mario, so Pops thought he would've been a help to mine.
So far, he wasn't, but it wasn't his fault.
None of the songs he had offered, or I had written, or Mica had written, felt like debut album material. I needed to come out swinging.
"Man, MJ how do you want to release next year but you're not feeling ANY of the songs that we've worked on so far?" Ne-Yo laughed, chuckling a little.
"Next year is still a while away, it's not like I plan on releasing soon as January hits."
"Yeah, but you still have to promote the album before you release it, which means you need at least one single to release. You can't release an album with no warning," Pops stressed.
"Pops I know. But I also can't release a horrible song. And all the songs we've been working on are kind of mediocre."
"You really are my child," Pops mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose and I smirked, standing up.
"For sure." The door to the studio opened up and in walked Austin, my cousin. He had also been helping out since he was trying to get into the music business too.
"Austin!!" Pops smiled. Austin smiled back.
"What's up Unc? MJ, Ne-Yo?" Austin dapped me & Ne-Yo up. "What yall working on?"
"Not a damn thing," Ne-Yo snickered. Austin looked at me.
"You still not feeling anything?" I nodded. He scoffed as he sat down on the couch. "At all? What about the songs your boy been bringing? Where he at anyway?"
"Class, Aus. You asked this every time," I said, laughing. Mica was attending the University of Southern California, majoring in Music Theory & Composition. He said it would help improve his skills as a performing musician. It better had because I was going to need him in the long run.
"I'm sorry, all the days blur together when I come to the studio and get nothing accomplished," Austin responded, giving me a look. I waved him off.
"Well, let's get something accomplished today, shall we?" I asked, giving him a fake smile.
"Let's."
Serenity POV
6:09 PM
Oh, put your freakum dress on
Oh, put your freakum dress on
Oh, put your freakum dress on
Oh, put your freakum dress onOh, every woman got one
Oh, shut it down when the time comes
Oh, pull out the big guns
Oh, and put your freakum dress on
All the ladies, you ain't these
All dressed up in your dresses
And your bestest with no reason
Get ready to freakum, freakum
I started to do my choreography for the bridge as Frank (Gaston) watched me closely. He was Beyoncé's creative director, so I had to always run things by him before anything was run by her.
Since her album B'Day had come out, Frank & I had been working on choreography for a video album that she wanted to do. This was something not many had done before, so Bey wanted us to make sure it was perfect. Filming wouldn't happen until January 2006, since she would be busy all November and December, but as I said, she wanted it to be perfect. She had a vision and wanted it to be executed correctly. I could understand that.
As I finished the routine, I felt myself getting a little winded. I had been tired a lot lately, I didn't know what it was. But I was determined to not let it mess with my work.
I finished and Frank clapped.
"I loved it. But-" I sighed, putting my hands on my hips. "I understand you're a dancer, and your natural instinct is to go full out every time. But, 'Freakum Dress' is a more relaxed video. She doesn't want 'Crazy In Love' she wants..." Frank paused, thinking about a video to compare it to. "'Rock with You'." I had to hold back my eye roll. I could really do without hearing about my father every time I did... anything. I got it, he's iconic, a trendsetter, a pioneer. Enough already. "'Rock with You' was smooth, calm. Simple, but enough. She wants the same, only with the bridge having a small dance break. However," He folded his hands. "Get Me Bodied'? We need that energy." I nodded. Frank put his hand up and I gave him a hi-five. "Good job though. You're doing great."
"Thanks," I smiled.
"I'm going to speak to your mother then head out. See you tomorrow?" I nodded. He smiled and waved, leaving out of the studio. I blew out a breath, walking over to the mirror and sliding down. I wanted to call it a day, but I had to have everything perfected before the 20th. After that, I would rehearse with Bey for two weeks, then I would be in the clear until January. I grabbed my water bottle and took a sip. Then I got up, went to the radio, and skipped through the B'Day album on my iPod to 'Kitty Kat', trying to slow it down a bit.
I walked to the middle of the studio and got on the floor, and it was like my fatigue kicked in even more when I did. I groaned, laying on the floor, letting the song play.
She could just freestyle it, honestly.
I closed my eyes, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep on the floor.
Skylar POV
10:03 PM
After making sure everything was locked up, I headed up to the grand studio to get Serenity so we could go. As I got near the studio, I didn't hear any music playing. I walked inside to see Serenity curled up on the floor, snoring. I chuckled and walked over to her. Working with Beyoncé was wearing her ass out. I got to her and shook her, making her groan.
"What?" She asked, her eyes fluttering open. Then she sat up, wincing a little. "What time is it?"
"Time to go." She rubbed her eyes before standing up.
"I don't even remember falling asleep," She yawned. "I'm exhausted."
"I see," I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. "Let's get you home." Serenity gathered her things and we headed out. We had only been in the car for five minutes before she fell asleep again. It didn't take long for us to get to the Calabasas house so I knew for sure she was exhausted. I woke her up again when we pulled into the driveway and she trudged into the house and up the stairs without even speaking to Michael. He looked at me like 'what the fuck?' "She's exhausted, baby. She's probably about to go upstairs and pass out."
"Is my girlfriend working her too hard?" Michael asked a smirk on his face. I gave him a look before walking past him. He laughed, grabbing my arm. "I'm sorry baby. But seriously," I turned to him and he let my arm go, folding his arms. "You think she's working too hard?" I smiled at his concern.
"Michael, she's not a little girl anymore. And she can handle it. She's not new to this, she's true to this." Michael stared at me blankly.
"You spend too much time with MJ," He said and I giggled.
"But no, seriously, she's got this handled. She's fine." Michael let it go.
"Alright."
October 13th, 2006
9:25 AM
By Thursday, all Serenity did was dance and sleep. By Friday morning, she could barely get out of bed. She was tired, her body was hurting , she kept complaining about headaches and being dizzy. I checked to see if she was running a fever, but she wasn't.
"Oh my poor baby," Michael cooed, rocking her, and I watched him, shaking my head. He was ridiculous. "It's going to be okay."
"Daddy," She groaned. "You're making me dizzier and nauseous." It was like a bell went off in my head.
"Michael, get off of her and get out." He sucked his teeth, letting her go.
"I just want my baby to feel better," He mumbled, standing up.
"I know, go make her some soup and maybe that'll help." He listened, walking out of the door. I closed the door behind him before turning to Serenity, who had her eyes closed.
"Could you possibly be pregnant?"
Serenity POV
Hearing 'pregnant' in reference to me made me almost throw up.
"What?" I asked, sitting up quickly, and my head started spinning, making me groan and lay back down. "No."
At least, I hoped so. Chris and I had used a condom, so I couldn't have been. Mama gave me a serious look as she sat on the bed.
"Are you sure?" She asked softly.
"Yes mama," I mumbled, regretting my decision to even tell her I had lost my virginity. Not every time a woman got sick did it mean she was pregnant.
"When's the last time you had your period?" She asked, and I thought for a moment. What month was it? October. I didn't have it in September... My head started pounding more at the realization and I groaned, turning away from her stare.
"Mama, just trust me, i'm not pregnant."
"Okay," She said, standing up. "Well get some rest, I'll tell Frank that you're not coming in today." I heard the room door open. "If you don't improve, i'm taking you to the hospital." I didn't respond as I heard the door close. I turned around to make sure she had left out before slowly getting up and heading over to my calendar to see when my last period was. I hadn't had it yet in October. I flicked back to September and it wasn't any indication of me having it that month either. I started to feel even dizzier as I flipped it back to August and seen I hadn't had it since the 23rd.
"No," I said to myself, grabbing my phone off the dresser and dialing Chris. It rang a few times before his voicemail popped on. This was not the time for him to not be answering.
I sat down on the bed and put my face in my hands. I couldn't be pregnant. He used a condom! I saw him put it on. And he didn't take it off until we were done. So I couldn't be.
Unless it broke.
But he didn't say anything about it breaking.
He would've said something about it breaking.
I dialed him once more and got the voicemail again. This time I left a message. "Chris please pick up," I begged, before hanging up and laying back on the bed.
I couldn't be pregnant.
October 16th, 2006
12:30 PM
My mama gave me the weekend to get better, but Monday morning when I still wasn't feeling good, she took me to the doctor.
I felt horrible, I was nervous and I was angry.
Chris hadn't called back at all. Not a text, not nothing.
I could have possibly been pregnant with his child and he had gone MIA, again.
I could have possibly been pregnant with his child.
I could have possibly been pregnant.
I was shaking by the time I got in the room at the doctor's office. What if I was? I was too young to be a mama. I was just getting started in my career. Worst of all, I was realizing that Chris was not who I wanted a baby by. Not with him treating me how he did. Mama looked at me, worried.
"You're shaking, are you cold?" She asked and I shook my head, trying not to be too obvious that I was about to pass out from nervousness. "Serenity-" Dr. McKnight, the same doctor that had delivered me 18 years earlier, walked in and smiled.
"Mrs. Jackson," She said, greeted my mama, and at that moment I wondered why my mother was in the room with me. I was 18, I was technically an adult. Dr. McKnight looked at me and smiled. "Ms. Jackson," I gave her a smile as she walked to the sink and washed her hands. "What brings you in today?"
"I think she's pregnant," Mama said.
"Mama," I gritted and she gave me a blank look.
"You can lie to me all you want to, but the signs are there Serenity. Headaches, dizziness, fatigue, nausea, a missed period." I pursed my lips, not responding as Dr. McKnight scratched her forehead. "I had all of those same symptoms with every pregnancy I had. And if you're not pregnant, great, but you're still sick as a dog and we need to get that together."
"Well, let's get that test done then." She grabbed the supplies for the urine test out of the cabinet and sent me to the bathroom. It took me a good five minutes to push some urine out, it was as if my body was saying 'girl, you really don't want to know'. I returned to the room and handed the cup to Dr. McKnight, who immediately headed out of the room. I sat on the exam table, trying to catch my breath, other wise I would probably pass out.
"Serenity why wouldn't you tell me?" Mama asked, "You know you can come to me about anything."
"Because I don't want to be pregnant. I can't be pregnant," I said, looking at her. She let out a little chuckle. This was funny huh?
"Just cause you don't want to be, doesn't change the fact that you could."
"But we used a condom," I stated. "I practiced safe sex."
"You know condoms can break though." I didn't respond. I couldn't know anything, since I hadn't heard from Chris. "Have you talked to Chris? Asked him about it?" I laughed.
"I haven't heard from him in days." Mama scoffed, and I could tell she was getting mad.
"You know, i'm real tired of that boy constantly disappearing on you. Who does he think he is?" I didn't respond once again. She shook her head. "I can't wait to hear his excuse this time." I couldn't either. Mama noticed that I really didn't feel like discussing Chris so she switched the conversation. "You know it's going to be okay. Your daddy might freak but, he'll be alright." I laughed for the first time in days.
"He's going to have a heart attack." Mama looked at me, pursing her lips and I winced. I forgot that heart attacks were fragile to her after what happened to papa. "Sorry, mama."
"It's okay. You're not wrong." We both busted out laughing. My father was so dramatic, he probably would.
Dr. McKnight walked back into the room with a smile on her face. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest because that smile could've meant 'congratulations, you're pregnant!'.
"You're not pregnant." I couldn't even become relieved before mama hopped up, throwing her arms up.
"Oh thank God!!" I gave her an incredulous look.
"What happened to 'it's going to be okay'?" I asked and she looked at me.
"It would've been okay, but I would rather you not be pregnant. I'm not ready to be a grandma," I playfully rolled my eyes, smiling. I wasn't ready to be a mom. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Mama sat back down. Dr. McKnight walked over to me and started examining me.
"Since we've crossed that off as a possibility, i'm assuming that you may just have the flu. The symptoms are similar, so it's easy to assume the worse."
"What about my missed period?" I asked.
"Have you been stressed out lately?"
"A little."
"She started a new job," Mama added.
"Well there you go," Dr. McKnight said, taking a step back. "It could just be that." I nodded. "Now, you don't have a bad case of the flu, so I won't prescribe you anything. Just rest, drink plenty of fluids, and get a humidifier." I nodded.
"Thank you, doctor," mama said as we stood to leave. We shook Dr. McKnight's hand and headed out of the room.
"Are you hungry?" Mama asked and I shook my head. "Do you feel better now that you know for sure that you're not pregnant?"
"Honestly, yes."
"You probably would've felt better before if you had told me that you missed your period," She said with a smirk.
"Maybe, but I just couldn't make sense of it."
"I know baby but you see how much of a difference it made to speak up on it. And like I said you can come to me about anything."
"I know mama." She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and kissed my forehead before we headed out of the building to the car, with our security right behind us.
It really did make me feel better knowing that I wasn't pregnant, but now that my mind was off of that, it was on something else.
Chris and his disappearing act.
All the nervousness that I had at the possibility of being pregnant was now replaced fully with anger.
It had only been, what, five months since him flaking me out on prom? And here he was disappearing on me again. Except it was for days. At a time that I needed him most.
What excuse could he come up with this time?
October 20th, 2006
10:48 AM
I was back fully functioning in time to start rehearsal with Bey. She told me that she didn't expect me to be well enough to work, let alone have all of the routines together in time, but I was my daddy's child so I was ready to go when she came into the studio Friday morning.
"Guys," Bey said, grinning at me and the other four choreographers after we all showcased to her what we had, ending with our combined efforts of 'Get Me Bodied'. "This is going to be perfect! Ugh! I'm so glad that you were able to see the vision that I created." We laughed as she jumped up and down excitedly. "Let's get to it!!" Frank and her back up dancers cheered excitedly as they moved towards the middle of the studio and started stretching. "Serenity," She walked over to me and touched my shoulder. "If you want to go home you can." I scoffed.
"I told you, i'm fine," I said, laughing. She was worried, and I appreciated the concern but I was good. "You can't keep me down forever."
"Okay, well, still. Rest your feet, sit by the mirror or something and I tell you when i'm ready for you." I playfully rolled my eyes.
"Alright mama," I responded and she laughed.
"Not ya mama, more like ya big sista," She winked and walked away, making me smile. Big sister. I liked that. I walked over to the mirror, about to do as she said when Amy walked in. She looked around the room before seeing me and walking towards me. I went to meet her halfway.
"Serenity, Chris is here," was all she said and it immediately put me in a bad mood.
He had just so happened to start returning my phone calls the day after I was cleared of being pregnant like he knew or something. I hadn't answered, and I should have known it would be a matter of time before he popped up to find me.
Funny, he always knew where to find me but I never knew where to find him.
"Tell him i'm busy at work," I said and she nodded, walking out. I went and sat down by the mirror, sighing. I didn't want to talk to him. He didn't deserve my attention. He didn't get to pop up when he felt like it, and expect that I would roll with it.
Leaving out the fact that I was a nervous wreck, thinking I was pregnant, me being his girlfriend he should have at least tried to reach out to me. To send a quick text saying 'hey baby, might not be able to talk to you for a while because i'm busy' or something. At least check on me.
"Busy at work huh?" I heard a voice say and I looked up to see Chris' stupid face. I hopped up.
"Yes. Now get out."
"Can we talk?" He asked.
"I'm at work," I gritted.
"Amara you were just staring off into space."
"You don't get to call me that," I said, walking past him towards the exit. He followed.
"Look, i'm sorry," He said. I walked out of the grand studio and he followed me. "I-"
"You what Chris?" I asked, turning to him and folding my arms. "What's your excuse this time? I would love to hear it."
"I've been in the studio non-stop, doing shows, interviews, rehearsing for my performance for your pops. I've been too busy and too tired to even check my phone."
"Wow," I laughed, shaking my head. "One text, one phone call was all I needed!!"
"I've been busy!!" He emphasized, and I could tell he was getting frustrated. I didn't care though, I was getting frustrated too.
"You said you would make time for me!!"
"And I have!! This weekend was just a lot, like damn, I go missing one time and you start tripping!!" I pursed my lips, trying to calm down. Otherwise, I would probably lose it. He sighed. "Look, I didn't come here to argue with you. But if you-"
"I went through a pregnancy scare this weekend and I needed you," I said, and he looked stunned.
"What?"
"I haven't had my period since August, I was dizzy, I was nauseous and my body ached like crazy. All symptoms of pregnancy. And where were you when I was sick as a dog, worried out of my mind about possibly having your child?" I threw my hands up. "New York? Los Angeles? Virginia? I wouldn't know because you didn't call me back." He stared at me for a moment.
"What were the results?"
"What do you think?" I hissed, and he still had a worried look on his face. "We used a condom dummy."
"Yeah but..." Chris cleared his throat. "It broke." My whole body felt like it was on fire.
"What?" I gritted.
"I didn't want to worry y-" I walked back inside of the studio. "Serenity!!" I ignored Chris as the door closed behind me. I counted backward from ten, trying to calm down before I turned around and cursed him out.
He didn't want to worry me? Was he serious? He sure did a bad job at that!
I walked over to where Bey and her back up dancers were and got in formation with them. Bey looked at me confused.
"What are you doing?" She asked lowly.
"I need to dance right now," was all I said and she left it alone. It was either I dance, or I slap Chris, and I really didn't want to get in a domestic dispute. So I was going to dance my anger off. And maybe I would calm down enough to talk to Chris without wanting to choke him.
Or not.
October 23rd, 2006
7:30 PM
MJ POV
"Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shinin', Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying, She's so beautiful and I tell her every day," Mica sang and I shook my head. He sucked his teeth and was about to rip the page out of his notebook.
"Aye!! What I tell you about throwing songs away?" I asked and he stopped. "Just because i'm not feeling them for my debut, doesn't mean they aren't good songs."
"MJ, you have denied every song I have offered, Austin has offered, and Ne-Yo has offered," Mica responded, sitting back in the chair. "You make me feel self-conscious in my writing abilities."
"Mica all you have are a bunch of love songs," I stated. "I need an upbeat song."
"The whole album doesn't have to be upbeat though," Pops pointed out, leaning against the island.
"It doesn't, but I need that one upbeat song to get me started. I think it'll get me rolling."
"I think I have something," Ne-Yo said, scribbling in his notebook with his right hand and eating a piece of pizza with his left hand. "I was gon hold this for my next album, but you can have it."
"Appreciate it," I said as he put his pizza down on the plate and rubbing his hands off. Then he started tapping his foot and clapping on the two and four. Mica, Pops, Austin and I joined in and Ne-Yo stopped clapping as he started singing.
"She hit the floor and make the club ignite, she's like a sexy little fire," He sung and I nodded my head along. "She keep on begging for more and if you play it right, she'll fulfill your every desire..." He switched notes. "So supernatural for real, a crazy style and sex appeal, Hey pretty mama what's the deal? Would you be mine?" Ne-Yo drummed on the table. "Hey, cause you got what I like, hoo, nobody strut like her, can't nobody touch, nobody cut like her, nobody touch her (nobody nobody nobody)." He stopped and we all applauded him. "What you think MJ?"
I grinned. "We got a song yall!!" Everybody in the kitchen cheered.
"Finally!!" Pops joked.
"I know the man who had Bruce Swedien mix 'Billie Jean' 91 times to end up choosing the second mix ain't talking," I said and he laughed.
L B DUB
Y'all know what this is
Only thing that keeps me up when I'm feelin' down
I don't know about you, but I gotta keep mines around
"Maiya!! Melody!! Turn that down!!" Pops yelled, walking out of the kitchen into the front room. I followed him out and saw my little sisters, glued in front of the tv, watching the new Bow Wow and Chris Brown video. Then Serenity popped up on the screen.
"Look, there's Serenity!!" Maiya said excitedly. Pops looked confused.
"When did she do this video?" He asked and I shrugged. Serenity was on a roll with the videos. We watched as she lip-synced Chris' part before it cut back to him. Maybe when I made a video I'd have Jade up in it as much as Serenity was in Chris'. I turned around to go in the kitchen and saw Mica leaning in the doorway, watching the video. I don't think he knew it, but his jaw was super clenched. I sighed before walking his way.
"Come on white boy, in the kitchen. Let's get back to work."
Serenity POV
Our vid came out 2day.
I rolled my eyes at Chris' text and put my phone back in my bag. He was trying to get back on my good side, bless his heart. Too bad he didn't realize how mad I was.
"YES BEY!!" Somebody yelled out and I looked up to see Bey crawling on the floor, practicing her moves for 'Kitty Kat'. I laughed before hopping up and walking over to the group.
On top of you not calling me back
You see I bet you think it's all on track
And you actin' like it's all of that
I'm not feelin' it
I'm not feelin' it
Let's go, let's go Little Kitty Kat
I think its time to go let's go Little Kitty Kat
He don't want no mo' let's go Little Kitty Kat
Quite frankly No mo' getting it
I'm not feeling it
October 26th, 2006
12:20 PM
"I'm so excited for this tour," Bey said as all of us sat on the studio floor, eating the lunch that she graciously bought for us. "It's a while away, but I have started to look at outfits, picked out my setlist, I have my band that consists of nothing but women. This is going to be great. Not to mention the choreography will be muah!" She did a chef's kiss and we all laughed. As the others responded to her, my phone vibrated on my lap and I picked it up, looking at it.
It was a picture of Chris hugging on that up and coming singer, Rihanna. My phone vibrated again. MJ was the one who sent it.
Can I whoop his ass now?
"I'll be right back," I said to the group, standing up and walking towards the exit. I dialed Chris as I did.
Surprisingly, he picked up on the first ring.
"I know you saw the pictures, let me explain."
"You have an explanation for everything, don't you?" I asked, laughing, but nothing was funny.
"We ran into each other outside the studio and I gave her a hug!! I swear that's it!! The media is making it bigger than it is and you know it!!"
"Is that why you couldn't answer the phone that weekend? Were you with her?" I asked, my voicing cracking. All my insecurities started running rampant. "Are we together because you felt like dating Michael Jackson's daughter would give you a career boost?"
"No, Serenity what the fuck?!? I love you!!"
"It's like as soon as I gave you my virginity, things started going left. You used me for my virginity huh?"
"I didn't!! I didn't use you for anything!!"
"Goodbye Chris." I hung up the phone and wiped my face of the tears that were falling. Everything was clicking in to place for me. And it hurt, but I was a professional and me having my heartbroken was not about to get in the way of anything. If daddy could do a full concert after getting accused of something as horrible as child molestation, then I could dance. So I pulled myself together. As I did, my phone started vibrating. It was Chris calling back. I simply took the battery out of my phone and headed back inside, putting a fake smile on my face, trying to make it to through the day.
9:31 PM
Bey let us out of rehearsals early, so after everyone said their goodbyes and left me by myself, I walked over to my iPod, shuffling through songs to find a good one to dance to. Mama probably wouldn't be ready to go for another thirty minutes, and I was determined to keep myself distracted for the time being.
I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to feel the heartbreak. I didn't want to feel anything but the music.
As I shuffled, trying to find a good song and ignoring the Chris songs that kept popping up, I heard somebody walking into the studio.
"We jumping him or what?" MJ asked and I turned around to see not only him, but Mica, Johnna, Taj, Lauryn, Leon and Bria walking into the studio. I threw my head back, laughing as I walked over to them.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked as Johnna & Lauryn hugged me first. I hadn't seen them since the summer, since they were busy with school and I was busy with work.
"We heard we had to come beat that light skin nigga ass," Taj said, hugging me and kissing my forehead.
"The nerve of him," Bria said, and I knew she had been waiting a while to talk about him. "Cheating with that fat forehead bitch."
"Yo Bria chill," Leon laughed, hugging me. "You can't lie she's fine though."
"Shut up Leon," Everybody said in unison.
"But for real, we came to check on you," Lauryn said, interlocking our arms. "You okay?" I nodded.
"I will be."
"Group hug!!" Taj yelled and before I knew it, they had all bombarded me with a hug, making me laugh loudly.
They were so goofy, but I loved my friends.
They didn't stay long, since it was closing time for the studio, but we all planned to get together over the weekend, which would work best for everyone's schedules.
Everybody started saying their goodbyes and I grabbed my stuff, knowing mama was probably about ready to go.
"Mica, you coming?" I heard MJ ask.
"In a minute," Mica responded. I turned around to face him, holding my bag. "You want me to grab that?" He asked & I shook my head.
"I can hold my own bag," I playfully teased softly and he laughed.
"I know. I was just being a gentleman."
"Always such the gentleman," I smiled and he smiled back. There was an awkward pause.
"Are you okay Serene?" He asked and I felt a lump in my throat.
"Yeah, i'm fine." He stared at me for a moment. I cleared my throat and felt this was the best time to head out. "We should go." I tried to walk towards the door, but he grabbed me and engulfed me into the tightest hug, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
10:11 PM
Skylar POV
"Ma, all i'm saying is that we pay Oliver to get one of his bodyguard people to jump Chris, that's it," MJ said, moving his hands like he was proving a point. "That, or we get pops to ruin his career somehow." I snickered at MJ.
"You sound like a spoiled rich kid for real. We're not ruining that boy's career." Even though that would be good payback. "It's not like he put his hands on Serenity. Being a shitty person is not grounds for ruining somebody's livelihood."
"I think Robert Downey Jr. would say different."
"Drugs, MJ, it was drugs. Drugs make you a different person." I looked at my watch. "What the hell are Mica & Serenity doing?"
"Hopefully not each other," MJ mumbled. I shook my head before walking out to the hallway to the elevator. I pressed the button and it immediately dinged, opening up. I got on and headed up to the grand studio. I got off and walked through the entrance to see Mica holding Serenity in his arms, rocking her as she sobbed. I felt my heartbreak at the sight and wanted to comfort her, but it seemed like Mica had it covered.
I sighed, walking back out before they could notice me.
Maybe getting Chris jumped wouldn't be a bad idea.
November 15th, 2006
1:12 PM
Serenity POV
I groaned as the sun rudely shined on me, waking me up from my sleep. Guessing that it meant I should just get up, I sat up, yawning and stretching. Then I looked at the clock on the night stand.
1:13 PM.
The time difference really had my sleep thrown.
Getting out of the bed, I headed into the bathroom to do my usual morning routine before heading out of my room into the living room, being met with nothing but silence. I scratched my head, looking around before noticing a note on the coffee table. I grabbed it.
Your daddy and I went out downstairs for brunch, we will bring yall something.
-mama
"Where the food at in this hoe?" MJ asked loudly, stumbling out of his room. He rubbed his eyes, walking over to me and I showed him the note. He sucked his teeth. "Now why would they leave us? Knowing we would wake up hungry."
"Order room service then if you're so hungry," I said, sitting on the couch.
"Nah, I don't wanna hear mama's mouth," He mumbled as somebody knocked on the hotel door. "I got it." MJ headed over to the door. I sat back on the couch, closing my eyes. I was so tired, the jet lag was really killing me. But I needed to get it together since we would be leaving to attend the World Music Awards in a few hours.
MJ swung the door open and there was Chris, who I had made a point to ignore ever since the day I saw those pictures. I sat up as Chris tried to walk in but MJ pushed him back. "What the fuck you think you doing?"
"I want to talk to Serenity," He said, looking at me as I stood up.
"She doesn't want to talk to you, obviously." Chris had come by the studio, the house in Calabasas and Neverland trying to talk to me, since I had gotten my phone number changed. Why couldn't he get the hint? And how did he know where we were staying? Chris tried to barge past MJ and MJ pushed him once more.
"MJ, gone man," Chris said, giving MJ an angry look. MJ laughed.
"Nigga you're in my hotel room. You better gone before I whoop your ass," MJ hissed. "Cause I been itching to do it for awhile now. I should've let Mica fucked you up when he had the chance." Chris' whole attention shifted to MJ, and I knew it was about to go left. I hopped up scurrying over to them.
"Why? You too pussy to do it yourself?" Chris asked with a sinister smirk, like he knew he just pushed a button. MJ wasn't about to say much else now, he put his hands up to shove him but I hopped in the middle.
"MJ don't," I said, pushing him back.
"Nah fuck him, Serenity!! He needs his ass beat!! Punk ass bitch!!" I continued to shove MJ back as he yelled at Chris over me. "I knew you wasn't worthy of my sister!! She should've never started dating your broke using ass!!"
"MJ!! Go in the room!!" MJ looked down at me and huffed before looking back at Chris.
"I swear to God she the only one saving you!!" MJ said, storming off to his room.
"Nah, she saving you," Chris yelled, laughing a little, and I quickly spun around to face him.
"Chris get out!!"
"Serenity, you know I wouldn't really fight you brother," Chris said as I walked towards him.
"Get out," I said, shoving him. He grabbed my arms.
"Talk to me-"
"It's nothing to talk about, I want you to leave," I said, snatching away from his hold.
"I didn't cheat on you!!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "Why won't you believe me?!"
"I don't trust you Chris!! I barely see you, you always flake out on me, you disappear on me, and I just can't believe that you're so busy that you can't reach out to me!! My daddy-"
"I'm not your daddy!! I'm trying to establish my career, when your mama and pops met he was already established!!"
"Yeah, but when they met, cellphones didn't exist and yet he still made time for her!!"
"He was established!! And also, they had kids so they had to communicate!!"
"And I could of possibly had yours but you were nowhere to be found!!"
"But you weren't pregnant!!"
"I could've been!! Since you didn't bother to tell me that the condom broke!!" Chris let out a loud groan.
"This is so fucking pointless, Serenity!! We're not getting anywhere with this back and forth."
"We're not, so how about you just leave?" I swung the door open. Chris stared at me for a moment before finally listening to me for the first time in weeks and walking out of the hotel room. I closed and locked the door behind him, before letting out a breath. I walked back over to the living room as MJ came out of his room. He looked at me with apologetic eyes.
"You were pregnant?" MJ asked and I sighed. Nobody but mama and Chris knew about the pregnancy scare. Nobody but those two knew I had lost my virginity.
"No, I thought I was," I mumbled. "But I don't want to talk about it." I was emotionally drained. MJ sat next to me.
"You deserve better, Serenity." I sighed, closing my eyes.
"I know."
6:46 PM
MJ POV
"I still can't believe we have to watch this raggedy ni-" Pops gave me a look. "We have to watch Chris do your tribute," I corrected myself as we walked towards our seats at the World Music Awards. Pops sighed.
"I know, but it was too late to change acts. Isn't my fault he waited until a month before the awards to show his true colors," Pops mumbled.
"This is why you should've picked me to do it," I said and Pops scoffed.
"Is that how you want to come into your career? By doing a Michael Jackson tribute act?" Pops asked.
"No," I mumbled.
"Didn't think so. Now let's try to enjoy the show."
I tried, I really tried, but the show was not really interesting. Beyoncé opened it with 'Deja Vu' and of course my eyes were on her the whole time, but after that, I lost interest. There were more international performers than it was performers that I knew. Then to make it worse, Rihanna performed, 'Unfaithful' at that, and I could tell Serenity wanted to just crawl in a hole and die. It felt like it took forever to get to the end. Finally, Chris took the stage, and pops headed back stage, meaning it was time for him to get his award and go.
Chris seemed out of breath and sloppy while performing 'Thriller', and I wasn't hating. That performance was not his best, I had seen him do better. That made me madder, because now not only did he hurt my sister, he was embarrassing Pops with his bogus performance with that bogus ass replica of the 'Thriller' outfit. I should've been the one doing the performance.
As Chris headed off the stage, the announcer introduced Beyoncé, who was giving the diamond award to pops.
"Your father better watch himself when he gets on this stage," Mama mumbled and I snickered as Beyoncé started her introduction.
"Tonight, we are celebrating 26 years of 'Thriller', give it up yall," She said and the crowd went wild. I clapped, leaning over to mama.
"Isn't the 25 year anniversary next November?" I asked.
"Yeah, but just go with it."
"'Thriller' is the biggest selling of all time, over 104 million records world wide sold. Michael Jackson has sold over 750 million records during his lifetime." The crowd continued to roar as I smiled. Damn, my pops was really that nigga. "He's also given over 300 million dollars to charity in his lifetime."
"That's my man!!" Mama yelled and the people around us who heard her laughed. Serenity & I groaned in embarrassment.
"This is exactly why we call Michael Jackson the King of Pop. If it wasn't for Michael Jackson, I would never have ever performed. He's made such an impact on my life and every performers life." Nothing but facts. "Michael Jackson, I love you, we all love you!!" Mama, Serenity & I cheered loudly with the rest of the crowd. "I want you to give it up for the King of Pop!! Michael! Michael!! Michael!!" The crowd started chanting along with Beyoncé. "Michael Jackson!! Congratulations on the World Music Awards, Diamond award!!" Pops walked out and the screams became ear defeating. I looked around in amazement. It was crazy how much of an impact Pops had made. I wanted this.
I wanted to do what he did. I knew I would never be as big as him or make an impact like him, but I wanted to make people happy with my music like he did. To give back like he did.
It was going to be a long road, but I was ready for it.
At least I thought I was.
11:37 PM
Serenity POV
After daddy said his speech and performed 'Heal The World', the show was over. We met daddy backstage and mama pulled him in for a tight hug.
"Ohhh i'm so proud of you baby!!" She squealed as he chuckled.
"Thank you mamas," He said pecking her lips.
"Eck!!" MJ said, fake grimacing and daddy flicked his chin at him. "I'm telling Granny Kat."
"Tattle tale," Daddy said, removing one arm from around mama and wrapping it around me. He kissed my forehead. "Ready to go?"
"Yes," MJ & I said, making our parents chuckle.
"That was the longest award show ever," MJ said as we walked through the crowd, trying to head to the exit. "BET Awards is better."
"MJ hush," Mama said, snickering. She knew it was true. People spoke as we walked by, congratulating daddy on his career achievements. Daddy put on his fake public persona, acting bashful and humble. He was humble, kind of, but he for sure was not bashful.
As he stopped to talk to yet another person, Chris walked over to me. MJ, loudly, sucked his teeth, but Chris ignored him.
"Hey," He said to me before looking at mama and daddy, who had shifted their attention towards him. "Hey Ms. Sky, Michael."
For people to say my daddy couldn't act, he sure put on a good one for Chris. He put on a smile and stuck his hand out.
"Hey Chris, good job tonight."
"Now Pops, you know you lying," MJ said, not caring enough to be cordial. Mama lowkey pinched MJ on his side. "Ma!!"
"Shut yo ass up," She hissed and he did. Mama looked at Chris and gave him a smile, before looking past him. "Um, there's Beyoncé, let's go speak to her." Daddy removed his arm from around me and they walked towards Bey's direction. I tried to follow, but Chris stopped me.
"Can we talk?"
"That ain't really work out for us earlier, did it?" I asked & Chris sighed.
"I want to actually talk, not holler at each other." I pursed my lips, not responding. He took that as 'okay' and grabbed me, pulling me towards a dressing room. He opened the door and pulled me in, and I immediately noticed we were not alone.
Rihanna sat on the couch, and when she saw me she gave me a small smile. Was this a joke?
"Tell her that nothing is going on between us," Chris demanded and Rihanna stood up.
"Serenity, I promise there is nothing going on between us," She said as she walked over to me. I guess that was just supposed to make me believe them.
"Thanks for this," I said, trying to not sound sarcastic. "But that's not the main issue at hand. It was the icing on the cake, but not the main issue." Chris sighed as Rihanna moved around me towards the door.
"Uh well, i'm going to go then. Nice meeting you Serenity," She said awkwardly. I just nodded at her.
"Thanks Rih," Chris mumbled and she nodded before walking out the dressing room, closing the door behind her. I folded my arms, looking at him.
"Now what was that supposed to do?" I asked and he groaned, walking over to the couch.
"You didn't believe me so I wanted you to hear it from her," He said, throwing his hands up.
"Right... but if you were messing around with her on the side, she would say it just to not mess up whatever yall got going on." Chris let out a frustrated groan.
"Whatever I say, or do, you're going to find a way to spin it aren't you? Regardless of what I try, you're not going to believe me?"
"Not at all," I said honestly, and Chris gave me a hurt laugh.
"We were doing so good and-"
"And you messed it up."
"How?!?" He asked. "I told you why I disappeared!!"
"It's not that hard to shoot a freaking text!!" I yelled, throwing my arms up to emphasize my poiny. "You disappeared for days!! You don't do your girlfriend like that!!"
"I'm sorry!! What else do you want me to say?!?" He asked frustrated. I pursed my lips.
"Nothing," I turned to walk out.
"Serenity stop walking away!! Damn!! How are we supposed to fix this if you keep walking away?!?" Chris asked and I sucked in a breath, turning around.
"I don't think we can fix this," I said softly and Chris sucked his teeth.
"Come on now, don't do this," He said, throwing his head back.
"You don't understand why I feel the way I feel-"
"And you don't understand why I feel how I feel but I don't care!! I want this!!" I stared at him.
"I do understand Chris," I walked over to a chair and sat down. "You're young and new to the industry, and you're trying to establish your career. I get it. That means that you don't have time for a relationship."
"That's not what it means-" He started as he walked over to me but I put my hand out.
"Just be honest with yourself Chris," I said softly and he stared at me for a minute before walking over to the couch and putting his face in his hands. I sat back in the chair.
We both knew it was over. Too much had went on, especially for us to not even had been together for a year yet.
"I'll admit something to you if you admit something to me," Chris finally said after minutes of silence. I looked at him confused. "You got feelings for Mica, don't you?"
"What doe-"
"Just answer the question," He demanded softly. I pursed my lips.
"That's not the reason we're breaking-"
"I know it's not Amara," He responded back on the couch. "I fucked up, that's why. But if we're being honest with ourselves, we would have never worked out even if I hadn't." He wasn't wrong. "I never cheated, but I do have a crush on Rihanna." I scoffed. Duh. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed, and I didn't tell you what happened." I just nodded, over the issue now since we were no longer together and had admitted that we would have never worked out. I headed to the door and stopped, turning towards him. He was looking at me, defeated.
"I'll see you around Chris."