You broke Us

6.

Tae

It's been 8 weeks since the incident.

I have never felt so numb or so broken in my entire life.

The man that I love physically harmed me. The man that I love told me that Dawon isn't my daughter even though I raised her along side him. The man that I love admitted to cheating on me with YoonGi.

The man that I love called me a lair and a cheat. He called me words that you're never supposed to call your spouse but for some reason he said those things to me.

I don't even know why he believed those things. I've been nothing but absolutely faithful to him. He was the first person I've ever loved. He was my first kiss and he's who I had my first time with.

I really thought that the two of us would spend the rest of our lives together. We would have our careers and have more kids.

Kids.......

I rolled over in this foreign bed. I couldn't go home. After the incident I called Jimin. He picked me up from the side of the road and my brother met us at the hospital. He was out picking up dinner for the two of them. I let my mind wonder to 8 weeks ago

"Can you tell me what happened here?" The doctor said to Jimin

"I have no idea. He called me crying and I picked him up on the side of the road. He mumbled something about a fall."

"Okay well we're going to do some test on him. Do you know if he's allergic to anything."

"He can't have penicillin" Taemin and Jimin said in unison 

"What about pregnancy?"

"He has a miscarriage a few years ago and he hasn't told me about being pregnant currently but I think he is. He's been eating really odd food combinations but I didn't want to pry" Jimin explained

"Okay well we're going to draw some blood and do an ultrasound. I'd like to keep him overnight because he's showing signs of being involved in a physical altercation"

"What do you mean?" Taemin asked

"He has a bruise on his face in the shape of a hand and there's bruising on one of his arms. It also appears that he has a sprained ankle. When the nurse was helping him change she reported blood in his underwear" the doctor explained

"Oh my god. Could he have been...." Jimin said without finishing the sentence but everyone in the room knew what he was trying to imply

"We won't know for sure until we do testing. If he was he will have to be on medication for 2 months to prevent and STDs or HIV" she explained

"I swear to god who ever hurt him is going to pay" Taemin yelled

I was still quiet. I was still in shock over what happened. I wanted to speak but it was like I couldn't do it. My mind just couldn't form the words.

I still couldn't understand why my own husband did this to me. Why my friend just stood there and watched.

After an hour the doctor came in with an ultrasound machine. There was too much bruising on my stomach to do it normally so the nurse explained that I needed an internal ultrasound.

I didn't have the heart to look at the monitor. I felt the same pain that I felt last time. I saw the amount of blood on my underwear. I already knew that I had lost my baby.

Maybe if I had told him sooner he would have believed me. I waited until I was in the "all clear" zone for a miscarriage before saying anything. The last time I told him I was only a few weeks and we were both so devastated.

After what felt like forever she left and my brother and Jimin entered the room again.

Taemin held my hand and Jimin ran his fingers through my hair. They were so caring but their gentle touches only magnified the pain I felt at the hands of my husband.

45 minutes later the doctor came in and looked at me with sad eyes. I knew what she was going to say.

The good news here is that he wasn't assaulted sexually. But after examining him we concluded that he was the victim of a physical assault. The bad news is that the assault cause the placenta to detach and as a result the pregnancy is no longer viable.

The pain I felt. My heart was in literal pieces.

He killed our baby. What ever caused him to lash out at me caused our child to die. Why? How could this have happened. I thought we were happy.

"We have to take you up for surgery because there's also a slight tear in your liver. I'm so sorry for your loss" she said before wiping her tears

I got the surgery's needed to clear out my uterus and to fix my liver. After 3 days I was brought back to Jimin's.

I told them about the assault but I didn't say who caused it. If I had then Dawon would have ended up in foster care. I couldn't do that to her. Her father may have hurt me but she is my world and I could never take her life away from her.

The only thing I told Taemin and Jimin was that Hoseok and I decided to separate. They were upset about it because they wondered why he wasn't with me when I was in the hospital. Taemin wanted to fight him but I assured both of them that we were discussing this for months now.

They both gave me sympathetic looks and I gave a half smile. I never kept secrets from them but this is something I can't share. If I do both of them would end up in jail, Hoseok would be hospitalized and shipped off to jail and my sweet daughter would be sent into the system.

I can endure this pain alone if it means no one else gets hurt.

Maybe this was all my fault. If he thought I was cheating maybe I was doing things that made him lose trust in me.

Plus he's happy now. He let me see Dawon a few times and she told me about her Daddy's new boyfriend and how she's going to be a big sister.

At first I thought Hoseok told her about my pregnancy but then she said how Daddy's boyfriend "Yoonie" is having twins.

Since then I just felt so lost. But tomorrow is our last meeting with the lawyers. Tomorrow I will officially be divorced.