Doubt

9.

Madara:

We sat on his couch, huddled together, each on our laptops studying, him with a cup of coffee, me with tea in a huge mug Hashi had gifted me to have in his home. We stole the occasional kiss, that sometimes stretched out to become some intense hot-mouthed tongue kissing before we found the strength to pull apart to continue our revising.

"Madara..." he said softly.

"Mmm?" I said, still with my nose in my laptop.

"I love you."

An electric shockwave transported itself through my body, from my heart to my fingertips. I turned to look at him. He looked at me intently, his thin eyebrows furrowed, his warm brown eyes serious. I lifted a trembling hand, put it on his cheek.

"Hashi..."

He took my hand. "I love you, Madara."

I climbed up into his lap, straddled him, took his face into my hands and stared at him. His gaze was unwavering, his mouth stern, his face open and honest, like a book for my eyes, and for my eyes only. I stroke his head with both my hands, yearning for his closeness, for his heart, for his love. And I had it.

"I love you too, Hashi."

We made mad love right then and there, him putting his fingers into my mouth, me twirling and twisting my tongue around them, creating a dance between his digits and my lips as he did me from behind. Afterwards, I lay in his arms, him with his back towards the armrest, me turned to him, our legs entwined, naked still.

"Hashirama", I said. "Have you ever done drugs?"

If he was taken aback by the question, he didn't show it. "Yes, once."

"What was it?"

He smiled crookedly. "The usual. At a party Christopher held." I was quiet, and he noticed. "Tell me what's on your mind, love."

"I... Hashi, I went into law because I wanted to learn about the laws of drug abuse to build myself a better picture and help those who need me in any way I can. I don't know where I stand when it comes to the legalisation of drug use, but please..."

"Tell me."

I looked him into his eyes. "If I am to be with you, I need your word that you will never, ever do drugs. Not in any form. I respect if you can't promise that, but in that case, I need to back off. I couldn't handle it, not since..."

"Izuna."

"Not since Izuna. I don't want drugs in my life in any way or form, no matter what my opinion is on legalisation and personal use."

Hashirama sat up, put me in his lap, connected our noses. "Madara, that isn't even a question. I don't even need to think about it. Of course. Of course I promise you."

"Oh, Hashi, thank you", I said, the relief I felt palpable.

"What kind of boyfriend would I be otherwise, Madara? I'd do anything for you."

The topic of conversation that came next, together with Hashirama's promise, was what would send us tumbling down, down, down...