Project- Vkook

15|Hysteria

[Pic Credit to twt account aaomelon]

[Jeongguk POV]

I was sitting in the cafeteria waiting for the love of my life. Yes!! Jimin. The one and the only one who loved me always, or that's what I suppose to believe. I and Jimin met at the time when I was in my high-school in Busan. We both were young but there is something that I found truly intimidating about him. It's not like I always wanted to be with him. It was difficult at first but we started seeing each other one day when I accidentally bumped into him. I really thought he was the prettiest. He was short, shy and there is always that pink blush that kept adored his face. He even looked cute in pink. I was in my high school and also single and I just got attracted to him at first sight and then we started meeting and one day I proposed to him cause I can't help but feel like falling into him more and more. It was like I always felt that excitement whenever I used to meet him. We dated almost one year until Jimin has to leave high school without completing it. He left for Seoul to complete his studies. He left Busan, he left high school and he left me as well. Just a promise between us that we will never stop loving each other. After that, I and Jimin always tried to contact each other. Even with the long distance. We were good or that's what I always thought. I started to ignore his texts and also got more occupied with studies and he also stopped contacting me regularly. It's not like we didn't miss each other. But it was more like we both were just started to getting more further than we were. 

Maybe it was just for me... or my feelings, but they just started to fade away as time passed. We contacted each other on the day I graduated. He came to my high-school just to congratulate me and I spent my whole day with him that day. We talked about many things but that day when I was talking to him. I felt...DISTANT!! a very different kind of distance. I always thought that I loved him and the way I always missed him and kept getting happy just by the thought that I have a boyfriend like that I really thought he is the only thing I loved all this time but at the end of my high school graduation when we both were in one of his outdoor houses and made love, that day I felt empty. It's not like I wasn't excited for our first sex. 

But it was different. It was completely different than what I had experienced all this time with Taehyung.

With Taehyung, it felt right, although I felt bad about doing it in a motel then again I thought we were doing it just for the sake cause we felt this urge to eat each other every time or that's what I always thought whenever I looked at his features, his feminine, sexy yet innocent face. His innocent submission, all of that. It all felt so good. The presence of Tae in my arms, covering him and hugging while the warmth of our bodies enveloping each-other in such a comfortable attire. I felt HOME. Yes, with Taehyung it always felt home.

After completing my high-school. Jimin suggested I apply to Seoul university so that we finally get together with each other. I agreed with him cause I thought maybe I felt like that cause we never spent so much time together. I worked hard and finally got admission to this university. Jimin became really happy with the news, he immediately came to my dorm and hugged me. 

I was also happy that I am finally able to spend more time with him. We spent the night together again in my dorm. But while doing it with Jimin, I again felt that distant emotion. I really loved him. Or maybe again that's what I thought. I was doing. But deep inside even if I got everything. I always felt empty. It was like I just kept going with the relationship just cause I have to be with him. Just cause it made me feel like I am not alone. But I was... all this time.

I was alone, even with the presence of Jimin I felt alone, weak, crying. I never tried to show Jimin that how am I feeling in real. I always went with the flow thinking that maybe that's the correct thing, that I have to be with him cause we were always together from the start, maybe cause it's what he is going to like, maybe cause If I try to look more into him. I might... I might, we might...be ...