liar | p. sunghoon

29

Sunghoon skated lightly to the center of the rink and positioned his arms. The slow music began and Sunghoon tried his best to flow with the music. From a distance, Chaerim could see that Sunghoon was still uneasy about performing and wasn't as quick as he was in practice. Getting ready for his first jump, Sunghoon positioned his feet and quickly jumped. His eyes opened widely as soon as he landed the jump trying his best to move on to the next part of the choreography.

"Oh no," Chaerim clicked her tongue and scratched her head, "He only made 2 ½ rotations and he went off the camera frame. Oh Sunghoon, please hold yourself together. I know you can do this."

Chaerim turned her head to coach Ji, who had her hand pressed against her forehead and was having a hard time watching Sunghoon skate.

"Ah Sunghoon," Chaerim whispered with desperation, "Please, I know you can do better than this."

His flying camel spin and transition wasn't as smooth as it used to be and much slower, to be honest. Chaerim felt the anxiety build up in her system as she continued to watch Sunghoon perform the weak and helpless routine.

"I'm sorry, Chaerim," Sunghoon thought while biting his lip.

He glided around the ice rink once more, preparing for his triple axel. On one foot pushing forwards, he successfully rotated his body. In shock and almost feeling his heart stop, he misplaced his foot, slipping and landed abruptly on the ice.

"Sunghoon," Chaerim gasped as her eyes opened widely.

Getting up quickly, he managed to cover up his mistake with spins and having enough revolutions.

"What am I doing?" he thought helplessly, "I can't even land a single jump and this choreography is a mess. I didn't work hard enough. I should've tried harder... maybe I should give up."

He turned his head and saw Chaerim in the distance. The tiny girl's face looked more distressed than his and saw her fumbling with her fingers. Sunghoon jerked his face away from her knowing that if he continued to look, his heart would shatter more.

"Why can't I skate anymore?" he thought angrily, "Heck I won 2nd place at the Asia Trophy, but now I can't?!"

Distracted and suffering from his internal conflicts, he slipped once more. Sunghoon felt as if his body was going to give up on him, but he couldn't. He knew couldn't give up just yet. Sunghoon stood up, hastily moving onto the next move, his combination jump, a triple flip-double toe. Furiously building up speed, he jumped into the air landing the jumps perfectly.

"That's it, my Sunghoonie," Chaerim sighed with relief, "I knew you could do it."

Sunghoon finished the rest of the choreography strong. Breathing heavily, he stretched his arms wide while scattered and confused claps filled the rink. He skated back to coach Ji with a feeling of shame and embarrassment. Neither of them spoke to each other as they headed over to receive Sunghoon's score. He was too humiliated to look at Chaerim and was not willing to even know his score due to his poor performance.

"Sunghoon Park of the Republic of South Korea," the woman on the loudspeaker exclaimed, "scored a total of 42.54 for the short program ranking 9th."

The audience applauded once more as Sunghoon trudged back to his seat, still not looking at Chaerim.

"Chaeri-ah," he thought with pain, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

**

9:59 pm after the short program...

Chaerim knew Sunghoon was not able to handle the harsh lecture from coach Ji after a nerve-wracking and humiliating day. She took him out and went back to the ice rink. This time, no one was there and it was just the two of them. Sunghoon sat down with an emotionless face, zoning out while Chaerim just stared at her fingers. It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

"Well it's certainly been a long day," Chaerim exclaimed trying to break the silence, "Don't worry too much about today. Besides, you were one of the youngest skaters today and you can redeem yourself in the free skate tomorr-"

"Hah... free skate," Sunghoon interrupted with disbelief.

"Sunghoon, stop. Stop being so hard on yourself."

"26th place. A new world record," he scoffed sarcastically, but Chaerim could sense the pain and anguish in his voice. "Chaerim, I did so bad today. How could I have scored so low?! 42.54 points?! Are you kidding me? I haven't done this bad in so long. I don't understand why I couldn't land my jumps. I couldn't even do a simple move and I fell!"

He felt hot tears brimming in his eyes as he looked up to the ceiling. Chaerim moved closer to Sunghoon as she pulled him into a hug, letting him rest his head on her shoulder.

"Just let it out. Stop holding in your feelings," she whispered while rhythmically patting his back, "Everything is going to be okay."

"Chaerim," he cried, "I'm so embarrassed. I didn't practice enough. I couldn't do a basic jump, I fell down twice. Why can't I skate like I used to?! What's mom going to say? You know how much she cares about my figure skating performance. What if I do even worse tomorrow?!"

"Shhhhh," Chaerim responded soothingly as she felt his warm tears wet her shoulder, "Everything is going to be alright. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. It doesn't matter if you don't make it in the top 3. The only thing that matters to you and how you feel. And I just want you to feel better so you have a better day tomorrow, okay? And it doesn't matter what your mom thinks. I know you think it matters, but at the end of the day, you have something else you aspire to be. Do what you love and what you want to do. Don't let anything stop you from doing the thing you love."

"I'm sorry," he wailed, "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" she chuckled warmly and ruffled his hair, "You don't need to be sorry for anything."

"I'm sorry," he sobbed softly, "I'm sorry for disappointing you."

"What are you talking about? Sunghoon, I'm not disappointed. If anything, I'm glad you still figure skating with me. My dream came true and it's because you're here with me, Sunghoonie."