The Truth Untold / BTS / V / KTH (completed)

twenty-ninth

I've been nervously standing at the corner of the curtain backstage watching the show as it unfolds. It's a little awkward to be standing in full hair and make up, and this tiny dress sewn onto my body, but I am really interested in watching the other performers. So far the show has been a really interesting mix of different styles of pop music and hip hop, with some solo performers mixed in with groups of varying sizes. I don't recognize most of the faces, not staying in the dorm long enough to really get a sense of who anyone else was. One face is definitely absent, Dae-yun, and I'm glad for that. I never asked Taehyung anything about what happened, but I know it was taken care of for me, just like almost everything else has been.

I peek out from behind the curtain far enough to see the audience. I haven't been able to see past the lights to know where Taehyung is, but I know he's with my parents. The idea of it is incredible to me. I'm amazed that they are here at all, such a long trip to see essentially a press showcase. It is also my birthday but even though I'm an only child, birthdays weren't that big a deal in my house growing up. I don't remember ever having a party or anything more than a small meal and a few gifts, after homework and chores were done of course. I also am amazed at how much Taehyung has arranged and done, without me even knowing, just to make this day possible for me. I don't know if he will ever know how truly grateful I am.

The showcase is nearly done after over an hour of performers coming out non stop. The make up and hair stylists come to where I am stood and apply touch ups. I wriggle in the tight wardrobe adjusting it, and I jump up and down a little to boost my own energy and adrenaline. My hands are starting to shake. The stage manager steps up to queue me to go on, she moves her headset mic away from her mouth and leans in.

"You're on Sunny. Go own the stage girl," she says giving me a big smile. I nod at her and feel instant relief as I take in her words. This is my time to shine.

I hear applause and a few shouts as I walk onto the darkened stage and wait for the lights to come up and find me. The music playback begins, loud and throbbing in my head, the lights turn to illuminate my form on the stage, alone, in front of a waiting crowd. One beat into the music, and a swivel of my hip and I am instantly transformed into the persona I am meant to be. The stage does feel like it belongs to me, the lights warm my body as I move, remembering Jia's words and I feel the music, every beat. I can see some of the smiling faces of the audience at my feet, some look up in wonder and some are cheering. Their reactions gives me fuel, energizing me, and making me feel powerful. Some of them are dancing, clapping over their heads, arms reaching out towards me. Even the people wearing suits, and scribbling notes furiously, whispering between each other, seem to be smiling.

I focus on the performance, my voice sounds very strong and I feel more relaxed than I expected. I am engulfed by the feeling of love and admiration from those in the audience, and it's making me stronger moment by moment, but I want to see my parents. I want to see my fathers face as he watches this performance. And I want to see Taehyungs reaction. He has only ever seen me practice.

My choreography allows me to move to the opposite side of the stage and I see Taehyung. He smiles so big his eyes almost disappear becoming beautiful crescents. I give him a sly wink from the stage and he bites his lip. It sends a chill through my body already teeming with electricity.

I see the face of both of my parents, standing small next to Taehyung who towers over them. My mother has her hand up, her fingers covering her mouth, but her eyes stare back at me hard, and it looks like they're filled with tears. My father is smiling in that low key way he has of taking in good news he was expecting. The wave of the performance crashes over me, as I finish the song, strike the last pose, and freeze in place for a full ten seconds under the burning spotlight as the audience begins to applaud. I try to slow my breathing, looking down at the floor of the stage, arm up triumphantly still holding my microphone like a trophy above my head. I can hear cheering. I can even hear Taehyungs voice, so deep and low, shouting out to me. I lower my arm, place my hands together in a prayer pose, and bow to the audience, mouthing the words 'thank you,' knowing that they can never be enough to thank everyone in this room for letting me have this moment.