Sun Hee is excited to become a trainee for BigHit and she vows to work hard to get the chance to become an Idol. But at 18, she is still unaware of the real cost of becoming an idol. One man has the power to both help her, and hinder her chances at...
His words leave me dumbstruck. I have never heard them before. No one has ever told me they loved me. I've barely heard it from my parents to be honest. My little family is fairly distant and undemonstrative. I have certainly never heard it from a man, even from a boy. I talk a big talk but I have never had a real boyfriend. I have never experienced real love. I don't even know what I feel for Taehyung. He's always been my bias but what does that mean? I'm attracted to him and I wish I could be with him, but here I am, relegated to being his partner, but not able to actually act on my feelings. I want so badly to be with him, to experience real love with him. But what can I do now?
I am still sat beside him speechless. I don't even realize that he is still staring at me, waiting for me to respond to his declaration. I turn to him, and meet his eyes.
"So, we can continue to train together, and then maybe, when I'm 19, maybe we can be more?" I try to understand.
He moves down onto the floor at my feet and sits with his body close to my knees. "We are already more...It just can't be physical, yet. But we are already partners," he offers.
"We are professional partners?" I ask.
He nods, "Yes, but no one can know about us as partners yet. Not until the company approves. But I want us to be more than singing partners. I want us to be a couple. "
"A couple who aren't physical?" I am still trying to understand my role.
His hands slide up to my face and pull me close, his body raises up between my legs and he kisses me so deeply that I forget my concerns. He pulls back searching my eyes. "We can be together. But, we should wait for more."
"Until I'm 19?" He nods and smiles at me. "Taehyung, you need to know that I have never been with anyone, I am brand new to this and I am not sure what I'm doing." I search his eyes.
"That's ok. I'm brand new to being in love. We will figure it out together." He drops his arms around my hips and pulls me in closer to kiss me again.
His kiss is tender and inviting. I run my hands through his hair. His body is pressed against me and his arms hold me tightly.
"Taehyung," I whisper as he kisses my neck. "Who would know? If we, you know..." I ask.
"I would know," he pulls away. "I made a promise and I know you are worth it. I want to be able to kiss you, and hold you, but I will wait for more."
I drop back on the bed in frustration and my hand beats the mattress. "Ugh! I hope I can wait," I say. He laughs at my over dramatic response. His hands slide up the side of my body to grab me and pull me up.
"I promise you it's worth the wait. I will make it worth the wait," he says forcing me to look into my eyes.
"You better." I smile at him. "And I promise I won't make it easy on you," I say, pulling my collar down off my shoulder and looking up at him in a mock sexy look. He smiles and leans forward to kiss me quickly before he gets up.
"I'll get your room ready and then we can go get you some clothes. If you want to go back to the dorms to get your things-"
"No! No, I mean, not yet," I say a little panic in my voice thinking about how much I never want to go back to that space. I didn't feel safe in my bunk, and I thought I was safe in the studio but I was wrong. There is nothing I would go back for, except maybe pictures I left in slats of the bunk, and my books.
"Maybe another time, or maybe I can have things sent over," he suggests. He steps out of the room and I lay back across his soft sheets, putting my arm across my eyes, trying to block out the feelings and stop any tears from escaping.
If I don't think about it, if I don't remember it, then it can't hurt me. I can carry on with the work I need to do to be worthy of being his partner. The words amaze me. Two weeks ago I was just excited to be able to move into the company dorms and become a trainee. Someone believed in me enough to give me a chance, and it turns out it was Taehyung. I roll my body over to face the clock on his bedside table. it's still early. I am drawn to a colorful image under the clock, almost hiding among a group of papers. It looks familiar. I sit up and slide the glossy paper out from the stack with my fingers. It's a picture of me, from a local magazine spread from several years ago. The image seems creased as though it's been folded and smoothed back out. The nice article they wrote isn't attached, it's just the picture. I look it over curiously. What does it mean? Why does he have this old image of me and how long has he had it?
"Sunny, come here please." I'm disturbed by his call from another room. I slide the image back into the bunch of papers and I step out into an empty hallway, looking around for the direction of his voice. There are lovely photographs on the walls lining the hallway. I pause to look at a few as I listen out for him. I stop in front of one image taken at night, from the center of a large stage, a see of glowing Army bombs in soft focus in the background, stage lights flaring the lens. He pops his head around the corner of the doorway across the hall and looks at me.
"Do you like that one?" he asks.
"Did you take this photograph?" I stare at it, tilting my head to the side.
"Yes. It's from a show at Wembley Stadium in London," he offers.
"It's just, magical. Is this what you see when you look out?" I can't take my eyes off the image.
"Yes, I tried to capture a little of what it feels like. But, that feeling you are getting now, is so much more intense when you are standing there in person seeing it." He steps out to look at the image with me, standing close behind me.
"It must feel like there is nothing wrong anywhere in the world when you can look out at this," I say almost to myself.
"It does... You'll find out." His hands slide around my waist and pull me closer to him. His lips kiss a spot on my neck just behind my ear and the sensation makes me squirm with delight.
"I hope to. There's a lot of things I hope to find out about." I spin around in his arms and plant a kiss on his perfect nose. He laughs.
"Let me show you your room." He smiles warmly.
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