Sun Hee is excited to become a trainee for BigHit and she vows to work hard to get the chance to become an Idol. But at 18, she is still unaware of the real cost of becoming an idol. One man has the power to both help her, and hinder her chances at...
I wake up early on my last day before the showcase, I know the day will be busy with costume fittings, a photo shoot, voice and dance. A full day, without much chance to see Taehyung. I'm feeling nervous and excited, and I am starting to realize the people who come by from the company are treating me a little differently, they make me feel like an artist, and more than that, a successful artist, already. It makes me feel more like an adult. That's something I don't feel with Taehyung, yet. Perhaps I have a little more control over that than I have allowed myself to believe. I think it might be time to stop waiting for him to make decisions for us.
The showcase schedule will be sent to me today. I'm excited about it because I know it isn't only me performing, but when I perform will be determined by the company, and I honestly haven't spoken to anyone directly about my role or my options. Taehyung has almost been like a manager for me, dealing with anything involving the company, partly because it's his company too. I have no experience doing things like this and of course he has so much experience, but, I also hope I get to be more apart of it, soon.
Maybe things will be different after the showcase. It seems so much is riding on this one night, this one performance. That does nothing to calm my nerves of course. But I'm luckier than many, I've been performing in front of an audience for almost 8 years and that part of the show doesn't worry me. What has been worrying me is wondering what the company really has planned for me, and, what my parents will think. They have seen me perform, but they will not expect to see me in the skimpy dress, which leaves almost nothing to the imagination. The fittings take forever because they are literally building the dress on my body, and they will be sewing me into it. But I like it, I like the way it makes me feel and the looks I get in the dress, just from the stylists, make me feel like I can pull it off.
In the studio room, I have my arms raised above my head, and I'm looking down, deep in my own thoughts. I'm in the process of being fitted into the dress, and am half undressed with pins everywhere and people around me, hands working diligently. I feel someone watching me and I look up to see Taehyung in the doorway, camera raised, pointing at me. I look at him through the lens and smile slightly and I can see his smile appear beneath the camera. He takes a few more pictures and then I look down and realize I'm nearly exposed. I clasp the fabric to my chest tightly and gasp a little. Grinning with embarrassment, I look up and meet his eyes. He bites his lip as he lowers the camera. He winks and puckers his lips to a kiss from across the room. I laugh, still blushing, covering my mouth.
He holds up one finger, and mouths 'one more day'. The look on his face changes, grows more seductive, in the moment that I realize what he's saying and it sends tingles throughout my body. I blush again and, warmed by the flush in my cheek, I narrow my gaze and run my tongue over my top lip slowly. His eyes grow wide and he makes a sharp intake of breath. It draws the attention of wardrobe assistants busy pinning me in. They stop and look up at him, instantly stepping back from me. They bow their heads to Taehyung who smiles, emboldened, and steps into the room. He nods to them in an unspoken instruction and they both step out of the door leaving us alone. I stand unable to move due to the pins poking me everywhere. I smile as he steps toward me slowly. He looks me over, grinning to himself as he steps so close to me, walking around behind me.
"Be careful not to touch me, the only thing holding this dress on is a hundred straight pins," I say in a sultry tone. I feel him behind me, for a long time, only able to hear his breathing. He's too quiet. I wait and listen, before I turn my head to the side, to catch him standing still behind me looking down. "What is it?"I ask.
"They didn't finish the back of your dress." he says smiling.
"What?!" I spin around reaching to cover myself. He laughs and I realize he's teasing me as I feel the tiny pins sticking me in awkward places. I laugh and reach out to playfully hit him. He leans in.
"It's OK though, soon I get to see everything." He leans down and presses his forehead to mine. He kisses my lips, long and slowly. I feel his tongue trace my bottom lip, wetting it, making me feel dizzy.
"We'll see." I tease and I lean up to kiss him more forcefully. A knock at the door disturbs us.
"Taehyung ssi, I'm sorry but we must finish her fitting before her dance lesson." The wardrobe assistant steps into the room avoiding making eye contact. He nods.
"I'll have dinner waiting for you when you're finished tonight," he whispers to me as he steps out of the door, giving me one last wink before closing it.
***
The fitting ends and I have just enough time to change for dance practice, my last before the showcase. Jia finds me in the studio after the wardrobe has been cleared to the side. She looks over some of the beautiful dresses still left from the photo shoot, admiring them.
"Theses are beautiful dresses, but they seem, well, a little risqué," she comments holding one up. "Do you feel comfortable in these?" she asks, turning to me.
"Taehyung says performers have lots of personas and this is just the element that will catch attention first. I wouldn't have felt comfortable in them a few weeks ago," I say. "I'm not worried about performing in the dress, only what my parents will think of it."
She turns to me, "Oh, your parents will be there?"
"Yes, Taehyung arranged it. He said it's part of my surprise." I begin stretching.
"And you feel awkward in front of your parents being this persona?" She lets go of a silky dress she's been stroking and walks to the mirrors to watch me.
"Yes, it feels a little bit like a role I'm playing, and I'm not sure I can pull it off." She looks at me quizzically. I stop stretching and turn to face her, leaning in.
"I don't feel fully like a woman yet. To be honest Jia unnie, we haven't, I mean, Taehyung and I haven't been living together, in the same room. I mean..." I fumble for the words. She shakes her head.
"You haven't had sex?" she asks point blank. I shake my head 'no'. "Nothing?" She looks at me as though she doesn't believe it.
"Nothing. He promised my Father he would wait," I explain.
She looks even more surprised at this. "Your Father? Wait for what?"
"I used to think it was until my 19th birthday, but that's also the day of the showcase. Now I know it's after the performance, after my debut. He told me that my Father said I have to know my own ability, and prove myself first." I tell her.
"Well, I might be wrong, I could be because I definitely thought you had already reached that stage in your relationship. To be honest, I only half believe you." She smiles awkwardly. "There could be one of two things going on...I'm sure that he does want you to prove yourself and be successful on your own, and the showcase is the gateway to your future. But maybe," she takes a deep breath before speaking harsh words, "Maybe he knows he won't be part of that future. It's possible he's holding back because he knows you will be pulled in a different direction after the showcase." She lowers her head as I feel tears well up in my eyes. She notices my bottom lip quivering at the thought this could be true. "Or-" she pauses, giving me a moments hope. She thinks for a long moment.
"Or what?"
"Or, he's going to ask you to marry him."
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