I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{51} Sleep With A Brother

We haven't stayed in the park for too long, it was fall, and the weather was getting windy and cold. My mom asked me why I came home early and I told her that I felt sick. She checked my temperature and she said that I had a fever. I was shocked that I was sick when I was lying to her in the first place.

I know I shouldn't have lied to my mother but I couldn't tell her anything anymore. Maybe I was able to tell Eden some things since we had the same problem but I knew the Halloween night has sacred my brother for life.

He has been getting nightmares of him or me getting pushed down somewhere and getting our head spilt opened. I didn't know what to do. I had a high fever, my brother is having nightmares, and I haven't visited the guy I sent into a coma. I was thinking about him every day and was hoping that he wasn't going to die, I didn't want to hurt him, I don't like to hurt anyone, but also I wasn't going to let any harm reach to my brother.

I kept staring into the glowing stars in the ceiling and tried to imagine something happy or something happy that might happen in my life. If that was even possible! I sighed and felt like dying from heat. I climbed out of my bed and walked to my window and opened it. I ducked my head out and looked around. It was too quiet and I was glad for the quietness. The sad thing was, that one day I wanted it to be quiet, it was the day I stayed awake from an accident and a fever. Damn.

I sighed and let the wind blow brush on my face. I ducked my head back in and walked to my bed and lay down. I started to feel tired and when I was going to close my eyes, I heard a loud scream. I jolted up, jumped out of my bed, and ran to Eden's room who was screaming his head off. I turned on the lights and ran to him. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and his hair was messy. He was screaming my name and mom's name and I didn't know what to do.

I covered my ears with my hand and screamed "Shut up!" That didn't do anything, he kept tossing his head and his face looked like if he was in pain. I wondered how mom or dad didn't hear Eden screaming. Then I did the only thing that would wake him up. I slapped him across the face and his head turned to the left. His screams stopped and I felt slightly terrible that I slapped my brother. But at least he stopped screaming.

"Eden?" I asked and trembled a little bit. I didn't know why I was shaking. Was it because I slapped my brother so hard that his head turned to the left? Or was it because I was frightened that he wasn't going to wake up? I knew for a fact that Eden was not okay. He turned his head slowly and there was a red hand printed on his cheek.

His grey eyes were terrified, shocked, and I could see both pain and relief in them. He touched his cheek and cringed. "I had another nightmare, didn't I?" He asked and looked away.

I nodded and sat next to him. "Why do you keep having nightmares? Is it about that guy I pushed-"

"Don't say that!" He yelled and covered his ears with his hands. He shut his eyes tight and he was going to cry again. I really wanted sleep, but I couldn't leave Eden there alone.

"I'll stay with you until you go to sleep, okay?" I suggested.

He slowly took his hands away from his eyes and opened his eyes. "I'm not a baby, Zayden."

"Do you want another nightmare?" I snapped. He shook his rapidly. "Then I suggest you to shut up, close your eyes, and I'll stay here until you fall asleep."

He looked at me and he wanted to say something but I glared at him and he got under the covers and closed his eyes.

"Zayden?" He said with his eyes closed.

"What?" I said groggily.

"Why are you helping me?"

I yawned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, like, why do you care? I thought you care only about yourself." Has he believed that really I only cared about myself?

I rolled my eyes and yawned again. "If I care only about myself, I wouldn't stay awake until you fall asleep, right?"

"No, I guess not."

"All right, then. Now shut up and think about nothing." He didn't say anything after that I looked at him to see if he had fell asleep and his breathing got slower and his eyes were becoming uptight. I sighed and lay down next to him.

I didn't think about how weird it was to sleep with my brother, because it wasn't. I was just lying down because I was tired. I tried to keep awake but my eyes won't obey and I finally fell into a peaceful sleep.