I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{72} Flowers

I was frozen for a moment, and then as soon as I found my voice, I started screaming at her.

"Cassandra, what the hell is this? You know how much I hate hospitals, and the worst thing is you're bringing me here to meet a rapist?"

Cassandra sighed and walked over to Shane Nolan. "Zayden, I bringing you here not only to see Shane Nolan but also to talk to him. He needs to tell you something," she said and put a hand on her hip.

"What about he talks to the cops instead of me? They'll listen to him and put him in jail, where he belongs!" I looked at him and his smile dropped.

"Zayden..." she warned softly.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. Yup, Cassandra was like my mom, and I should act on that. "Fine," I said and sighed through my nose. "If you say so."

Cassandra nodded and walked out of the room with the nurse. The door closes and it was silent. The only voices I heard were Cassandra's and a woman voice talking behind the closed door. I wanted to go. I didn't want to talk to Shane Nolan even though I kept thinking about him and wanting to know if he was okay.

"So..." he started. I looked at him. He looked healthy. He didn't have a creepy grin on his face; he had a small smile that looked real.

"How are you?" he asked and I stared at him blankly. Why does he want to know how I was doing? Shouldn't he be mad that I pushed him and put him in a coma? Shouldn't he call the cops and blackmail or something? Why was he calm? He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"You're probably upset because of what my friend and I tried to do to you and your little brother." I didn't say anything. I let him speak. "Look, I'm sorry. I don't know why I wanted to hurt you guys. I guess I wanted to take away the pain I had."

"So you're taking your pain away by raping kids?" I asked and his eyes widen.

"Oh no, I just...I was in a phase. Something happened to me and I don't know. I can't put it in the right words but I want you to know that I'm sorry." I nodded and he was staring at me. I could tell he really meant it but he could be faking it. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

I have to stop. 

I had to stop thinking always about the negative side. I had to try and let his words sink into my mind, because there was a chance that he was honest.

"I heard that you wanted to see me," he said and I shrugged. Yes, I wanted to see you. "Thanks for checking up on me. My parents wouldn't give a damn about me since I dropped out of college."

"Why?" I asked quickly. "I mean, it's okay if you don't want to tell me."

He smiled and sat up. "Nah, man, its fine. I actually need someone to hear me out. I kept this for too long." I don't know why I wanted to know the story of his life. Usually I didn't care about anyone's life story or who they were, but...there was nothing wrong with some kind of a change.

"I thought I was stupid, a moron, an idiot, you know. I tried asking the smart kids if they can help but they would get frustrate and never come back. Then I met her. She didn't have glasses like my other tutors. She had the lightest brown hair ever, the bluest eyes ever—"

When he said blue eyes, I thought of Crevan but I quickly shook off the thought. It was not the right time. "I thought I was in heaven when I saw her, because there was no chances that girl was human! But then there was one thing that bothered me."

"Which was?" I asked and raised an eyebrow. 

He smiled sadly at me. "A new guy came into the picture, and I started having feelings for him."