I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{13} Fuck It.

I felt someone shaking me. I heard a voice. I opened my eyes slowly and saw warm brown eyes. I frowned and tried to blink the sleepiness away. I looked around, trying to remember where I was. I yawned and rubbed my eyes to see I was still in the office. I looked at my therapist to see her sitting on her desk, legs crossed and her staring down at something.

"Miss..." I whispered.

She looked up quickly and put the thing she was staring at on her desk. "It's time to go Zayden," she said and looked outside the window.

What was wrong with her? Why wasn't she happy? Did something bad happen while I was sleeping?

"Miss, what's wrong?" I asked and got up slowly. I didn't know why I wanted to know what was wrong with her, not in a mentally way, because I've never seen her like that. She was so calm and quiet, something the opposite of her personality.

"Nothing, but you must go before I get a call from your father," her voice was quiet. I didn't like it. I didn't like her being sad either.

I snorted and walked to her desk to drop the blanket I slept on. "Like he'll answer it. I bet he's doing something with the woman who came over yesterday."

She finally looked at me and grabbed her notebook quickly. "Is that why you didn't sleep yesterday?"

I nodded and walked back to my chair to grab my book bag off the floor. "I don't understand. He acted differently towards the woman and also my mom but not in a loving way."

"What is this woman name?" My therapist said writing on her little notebook.

I wrinkled my nose. "Rachel.

My therapist flinched when she heard the venom in my voice. I already hate her and I didn't want her near me, my dad, or Eden. She was not going to change our family again and mom needed to know the truth.

"Miss, can I ask you something?" I asked calming down a little bit. I think my therapist sensed my anger because she stopped writing for a second and quickly looked at me. I bit my lip before asking her. "How is...Rhett doing?"

As soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to slap myself because of her reaction. My therapist didn't seem surprise about my question.

"What do you mean? Physically or mentally?" she asked putting on her glasses.

"Both?" I questioned.

"I can't give you information about other students. Sorry Zayden." She replied. Well I've wasted five minutes of my life for nothing. I knew she wasn't going to tell me but it didn't suck to try. "Why do you ask?"

I thought for a few minutes. Why did I care about Rhett? Why did he have the ability to calm me down? We were two different people after all. He was a jock and I was a loner. We can't mix. I put my book bag over my shoulder, grabbed my sketch pad and walked out of her room as I said over my shoulder, "I don't know."

~~~~~~

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. Why did I ask that? I didn't care about Rhett.

I don't care about Rhett.

I don't care about Rhett.

I chanted to myself as I saw Rhett and Alexandrina hugging each other. Just my luck. Two annoying people, who didn't want to leave me alone because they wanted to be my friend, hugging each other. Great. I put my hoodie on my head and walked passed Rhett when Alexandrina eyes lit up and she screamed, "Zayden!"

I stopped and sighed in annoyance. How could she see me? I turned around and frowned at them. Rhett had his arm wrapped on Alexandrina waist and Alexandrina had her arm wrapped around Rhett shoulders. I wrinkled my nose at the sight of them because they were a lovey-dovey couple. Alexandrina let go of Rhett and ran towards me. She had her arms opened so she could hug me but I moved quickly and she fell on the floor.

I snorted, trying not to laugh, and I heard Rhett laughing. I looked behind to see Rhett laughing wholeheartedly; he looked like if he was having so much fun. He looked at me, chuckling a little bit.

My lips twitched and I heard Alexandrina whining. "Hello? Isn't one of you going to help me?"

I rolled my eyes and grabbed Alexandrina's arms and softly pulled her up. She looked surprised by my grip and I rolled my eyes again. I might've looked skinny and had no muscles on my body, but that doesn't mean I couldn't kick someone's ass or pick a person up.

"Thanks," she said and hugged me quickly. I groaned silently because I didn't want anyone to touch me. I hated when a random person would touch me. Only my family could touch me, nobody else. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in therapy," I said flicking my hair out of my eyes. Her eyes darkened and I narrowed mine. I guess she didn't like the idea of me going to therapy or maybe she thought I was a insane.

"Oh okay! Well this is Rhett. Rhett this is Zayden, my friend!"

I flinched when she said friend. Was I her friend? It didn't feel like it.

"We've met before," Rhett said wrapping his arms around Alexandrina's waist again. She looked at Rhett with shocked eyes.

"You've met Zayden before and you didn't tell me?" She exclaimed.

He rolled his eyes. "My friends don't have to be your friends, Alexandrina"

She rolled her eyes and stomped her feet. She acted like a little child. "That's unfair."

"Look, both of you are not my friends. Leave me alone," I sneered and walked away from them. I didn't care about them. I didn't want to be their friend. They were annoying, talkative, childish, and mostly annoying. Especially Alexandrina. I ripped a leaf angrily and tried not to think about Rhett and Alexandrina dating. Why did it made me so angry?

I don't care about Rhett.

I don't care about Rhett.

I started chanting again. I glanced behind me and saw them kissing. They looked like they were into it too. I sighed and walked quickly. Fuck it.

I care about Rhett.