Doubt

2.

"I couldn't have done it without the support you and father gave me from home."

I looked at the big oak doors, took a deep breath and walked in to my first hearing.

Madara:

The courtroom was ginormous. My class had a good spot on the second floor, with a clear view of the judges, the lawyers and the audience down below. We had been here an hour early for our main lecturer to speak a little before the hearing begun.

"Listen carefully", he said. "This will be a row of several drug cases..." I put my elbow on my knee and leaned my chin in my hand, suddenly full of anticipation. I had black cargo trousers on, an oversized, white sweater and a thick, black scarf. I had braided my hair in one thick, messy braid and slung it over one shoulder. "The year five students will be acting as the prosecuted's lawyers. They will, of course, be backed up by an experienced lawyer, but this is what is expected of you in year five. Now, don't worry too much; this is just your first year. But in year five, we are looking for excellence."

Each case was about forty-five minutes, with the prosecuted being people who were accused of milder drug crimes, and the year five students acting as their lawyers. Their goal was to ensure the penalty was as righteous as possible, using the book of law to make sure the penalty wasn't too high. I had come to learn that being someones lawyer wasn't always about defending them, but about asking questions, making sure everything had been taken into account for the judges to make a good decision. The year five students did a decent job, I could tell, but they were also hesitant, and some of their insecurity shot through.

I honestly couldn't help but feel a little satisfaction at that. They had kept giving me sideways glances in the corridor for the entire two weeks since we'd started.

I hadn't seen HIM again though...

There was a break for lunch, and then three more hours to go. I was starting to feel restless, longing home to my desk to do some actual work. But then...

"This next case is heavier", our main lecturer said. "It is a much more complex drug crime case than what we've previously seen. The year five staff have chosen their best student to take this on. He will be backed up by their most experienced lawyer."

"Although..." I could hear another one of our lecturers, who had joined us I the courtroom after lunch to watch as well, mumble to our main lecturer. "I don't think that will be needed, seeing who the student is..."

The large oak doors open and in came...

With an ear-splitting crash, I fell off my chair.

I literally, actually, for real, fell. Off. My. Chair.

The entire courtroom turned to where I sat, and I hid my face in my hands as I stood up from where I'd landed on my bum, and sat back down on my chair.

Fuck me...

I dared to look down on him through a crack in my fingers, and saw he was looking straight at me from below, smiling an amused smile.

Oh, how I loathed this. How I absolutely, utterly hated making a fool out of myself. The first time he'd seen me, I'd walked into a pillar. And now...

Luckily for me, the hearing began soon, and everyone in that room instantly forgot about me and my clumsiness.

The man, who'd presented himself to the courtroom as Hashirama Senju, looked absolutely gorgeous in his navy suit and high, dark brown updo, but most of all it was his sharpness that shot through. He delivered each point with confidence, and it was crystal clear he knew what he was talking about. He took the judges through a complex labyrinth of paragraphs in the law book, finding things that caused several of the judges to look at him with surprised expressions, and the expert lawyer who stood behind him to back him up if necessary to look extremely pleased and proud. He managed to dismiss one of the cases made for his clients with a loophole he'd found, and he argued confidently to make sure the penalty was the correct one before thanking the judges and the room.

"And this, ladies and gentlemen and non-binary friends", our main lecturer said as the courtroom emptied. "Is how you make a perfect case."

"Couldn't have done it better myself", the other lecturer said.

I felt my head swim for some reason.

Hashirama:

I had felt my nerves tingle the entire time in the courtroom.

But it wasn't due to the hearing itself. I felt very relaxed regarding that. I was very aware exactly how good I was.

No, this was something else. It was a special kind of tingling, the one a great singer felt when he was on the big stage and knew their lover was in the audience, about to see them do what they're really good at for the first time.

It was knowing he was in the audience.

And I wouldn't have known if he hadn't fallen off his chair. That had been the most adorable thing I'd ever seen in my entire life. It made me want to eat him up.

I hadn't stopped thinking about him since I saw him in the corridor. At night, in bed, I found myself pretending I held him while he slept. I, stupidly enough, fantasised about defending him when my friend group was mean to him, and bonding with him over that. I imagined how we would look like, an odd duo, walking down the corridor together, me in my posh clothes and clean haircut, him with his alternative outfits and black, velvety cascade of a fucking gorgeous lion's mane.

He had something about him that spoke of genuineness, of knowing about the real world and its hardships, that I desperately craved. It was like he was a scrumptious cake and I was on a diet; everything in my surroundings spoke against me taking contact with him.

But I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't.

"Darling, you were fantastic!" my mother exclaimed and came to hug me in the vast salon outside the courtroom, where the entire courtroom was now collected on their way to their respective homes.

"Thank you, mum. Hi, dad."

"Hashirama!" A girl from my year who always desperately flirted with me threw herself in my embrace. "You were amazing!" I didn't hug her back.

"Thank you, Lizzie, but would you excuse me, I'm looking for someone..."

She pouted. I didn't care.

I darted in between people congratulating me, saying how amazing I was, wanting to chat, desperately looking for a mane of black. Come on... How hard can it be... You're the most visible person in the entire-

"Ouff! Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so, so, sorry, I-" A soft, melodic voice, like wind chimes bearing their sound over a lake. It became dead silent when he looked up and saw who he'd bumped into.

"I'm not surprised I found you by you walking straight into me." I had taken a soft hold of his wrists, looked down on him and smiled warmly. "You're quite clumsy, aren't you?"

His face had frozen when he saw me. His eyes were huge, his lips slightly parted. A slight blush creeped up on his cheeks, and he looked away. His hair was braided out of his face, showing off his amazing bone structure.

We stood there for a while, the sounds around us muffled out, the people surrounding us forgotten.

"Did you..." I cleared my throat. "Did you like what I did in there?" Am I fishing for compliments? I never did that. I never cared about what anyone thought of me. I already knew I was the best one they had.

He pulled on his wrists that I were holding. He was still looking away. I released him instantly. "I'm so sorry, I should have looked where I went", he just said.

And he hurried away, hugging his big, black coat he was holding close to his chest.