I See Your Soul [An Original Michael Jackson Love Story] ✔

Chapter 47: Everything You Need to Know

Nicole: Bill, is something going on?

For a moment she wondered if she'd actually said the words aloud, then, without answering her question, Bill responded. 

Bill: I'm sorry Mike has been so...

Looking up, Nicole watched him struggle to finish the thought, finally settling on silence and a sideways nod, confirming the suspicions weren't all in her head.

Nicole: Bill, if something is going on, you have to tell me. You trust me, don't you?

She watched him sigh, still rocking his head before pressing a hand to his lips.

Bill: Michael has been through more than most human beings could ever imagine. He's very calculated, you know, in the decisions he makes because so much was decided for him when he was little. He doesn't like being questioned. He keeps his cards close to his chest cause he's been hurt so many times... And he feels everything, but he shows so little--

Nicole: Bill, please. Just tell me--

Bill: Sweetheart, I can't. It's not my place.

Turning away, Nicole felt the pressure building behind her eyes again. She wasn't sure if the emotion stemmed from frustration, or anger, or sadness, or confusion, or something entirely different. Then Bill's hand pressed on her shoulder. She knew his intentions were good.

Bill: He loves you so much, Nicole. And he wants to talk to you. But all this bickering back and forth-- It's scaring him away.

Nicole: Oh so this is my fault?

Bill: It's not anyone's fault. It's just part of growing up. Things aren't always so black or white-- right or wrong. If you want to move forward, you two have to meet in the middle. You both have to compromise a little, you know?

She nodded cautiously, suddenly hearing the words of an earlier argument. Michael felt he was the only one sacrificing in their relationship. She should've leaned in then, comforting him and asking why he felt that way, but instead she grew more defensive. Finally Nicole turned, ready to lower her guard, as Bill's ever-alert eyes stayed scanning across the water.

Nicole: Can you tell me at least, if he's okay?

His face was stoic, eyes still far away. But he spoke without hesitation.

Bill: Sure, Michael is fine. Always will be. He's a fighter in that way... You know, a lot of people see his life from the outside and think how glamorous it must be. How exciting and fun to have all that money and attention. You'd think he wouldn't have a care in the world. But for Michael, it's torture. He would give his right arm to be someone else. I've watched him growing up, becoming a man. I'm so proud of him for all he's accomplished at his age. But I gotta tell you, I would never want to be Michael Jackson. He's the strongest man I know.

~*~*~

The drive back to the condo felt long as exhaustion filled the taxi. Laura's head was heavy against her shoulder as Nicole watched the sky fade from blue to purple. While the others rested their eyes, Nicole questioned her conversation with Bill. Bill Bray, who'd spent nearly a decade as head of the Jackson's security detail, and a whole career prior in law enforcement, thought Michael Jackson was the strongest man he knew? Sweet Michael who always talks about love and giggles at Three Stooges and plays games with children most would've abandoned after adolescence? It was frustrating that after 6 months dating this man, Nicole was still trying to figure him out. Still wondering who he really was. Still questioning how he could be so many facets of the same human being.

Bill opened the door, letting the girls into Michael's suite before retreating to his own room for a break. They agreed to meet back in a couple hours for the play, doors opened at 7:30. Half asleep, Laura drifted straight off to bed. Though Nicole was tired, she knew there was no chance of rest as her thoughts continued racing. She hoped a hot shower would relax her mind or, at the very least, keep her awake enough to get through the rest of the evening's plans.