Holding On (A Harry Styles Love Story)

Happy Birthday to Me?

I leaned my head against the cool car window as Jessica drove off into the night. No determined destination, just us driving away into darkness. School had let out a few weeks ago, and we spent a lot of our time driving to no where.. It gave us a chance to escape from everything- from all the business and stress of normal life. We could just turn up the radio, drive down some old road, and feel free.

The only problem was that we weren't actually free yet. At least, not legally. I turned eighteen on July 5, which was about a week away. Until then, I bound by the rules of my mother. To be honest, I usually didn't get excited about birthdays. In my eyes, they just meant I was getting another year older. However, I was ecstatic about my eighteenth. I was ready to make my own choices, do my own thing, and live my own life.  The thought was exhilarating, to say the least.

As Jessica turned the wheel, directing us onto a new, windy dirt road, I sipped the chocolate milkshake I held in my left hand. The potholes and countless rocks caused Jessica's red mustang to bounce and shake every few seconds. My charm bracelet jingled, singing along with every jolt. I always wore it. The bracelet, the necklace, the two mixed-tapes, the pictures- they all reminded me of him. The boy with the curly hair whose eyes put the very stars to shame. We hadn't shared more than a twenty-minute conversation since March. We talked less and less often, causing the hole in my chest to grow exponentially. At any moment I expected it to swallow me whole, eating me alive from the inside out.

Jessica turned down the John Mayer CD with her right hand, completely oblivios to the fact that I was trying to let the music surround me and cover me like a blanket while I tried to sort through my abundance of thoughts.

"So, what do you want for your birthday?" She glanced over at me with an enthusiastic smile.

I shrugged, picking up my legs and crossing them in the seat. "I don't know. Nothing, really."

She groaned, "Come on, Charlotte. Don't be hard to buy for. You've never been hard to buy for, that is, until that boy came into your life." She threw me a playful punch in the shoulder, and I brushed it off, sticking my tongue out.

"Then blame him, not me!" 

She rolled her eyes with obvious exaggeration as I laughed, "Harry Edward Styles. Who does he think he is? Making my best friend weird. Well, weirder than she normally is!" She made a disgusted face that would've been completely unattractive on anyone else, but since she was Jessica, she still looked like a model. I laughed for a few breif moments before I gave in to a sigh.

"Yeah," I said.

She kept her eyes on the road, but by the way she lay a hand on my knee, I knew she must've seen my forlorn face. "You know, it's OK to admit you're miserable."

I forced a chuckle, "Encouraging words, Jess."

She grinned slightly, before she took on a softer, yet more serious tone. "I mean it. Sometimes you need time to remind youself that you don't have to act like everything's fine. I understand." She rubbed my knee in soothing circles, and I felt my shoulders relax as I leaned my head back on the back of the seat. I had nothing to say. But I knew that words weren't needed.

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"Superstar, Harry Styles, was seen yesterday with actress Taylor Burgess. The pair shared Starbucks drinks before taking a stroll around a park in London. Although they haven't been seen together since last summer, sources say, 'Their chemisty is remarkable, there's no way they're just friends.' So what do you think, ladies? Do you think Harry Styles and his rumored girlfriend, Charlotte Austin, have parted ways?"