Ray Of Sunshine

Chapter 53: I'll Be Your Girl

Before my mother's, I had never been to a funeral before, and I never want to go to one again. Her death still hasn't sunk in, and her not being here doesn't seem quite real yet.

The funeral was a numb blur, and thankfully it didn't last long. It was painful to see how many few people were there. The only family there was me and Ashton... I tried to get in contact with my mother's sister, but she still lives in Puerto Rico. When my mom moved to be with my dad, her sister stayed in Puerto Rico, and me and Ash have never actually met her.

I managed to get through to her, but she had nothing to say... it was the first time I had ever spoken to my 'auntie' and she barely said a word. She said she would try to make the funeral, and that was that. She didn't show up.

Jack, Jenny, and of course Tina were there to support me, and to say their final goodbyes to my mother. Michael wanted to come to the funeral, but I didn't think him being there was necessary. I also know the last funeral he went to was his wife's, and I didn't want to put him through that again. He said he didn't mind, but I do. I know he loves and supports me, so he didn't need to come to the funeral to prove that.

After the funeral Tina invited all of us to her house for some tea. After shedding more tears, and talking about mom, I decided to go to my mom's house; partly because I wanted to feel close to her, and partly because I have to continue to pack everything up. I thought it would be what I needed in order to keep myself busy, because if I don't do something all I'll do is sit and cry. I need to keep myself occupied.

"Ash, are you sure you want to help me?" I ask, taking the car keys out of the ignition.

"Yeah." He says quietly, looking over at the house we grew up in.

"You don't have to." I frown. "It's ok if you don't want to go inside."

"I have to pack my stuff up, don't I?"

"I don't mind doing your room if it's too upsetting for you?"

"No, it's ok... I'll be fine."

"Ok..." I nod.

There's a pause of silence between us as we look at the house.

"It's probably best you do your room anyway." I show a little smirk. "I don't want to see anything I shouldn't... like porn mag-"

"Ugh, Ness!" Ashton makes a face and quickly gets out of the car.

"What?!" I chuckle and get out too. "That stuff is normal! I just don't want to know what my little brother gets up to."

"Shut up." He shakes his head, trying to hide a little smirk. "I don't have porn magazines..."

"I doubt anyone does these days." I make a face and laugh.

"Yeah... it's all online." He shrugs.

I give him a look and he shakes his head as his cheeks turn red.

"I'm not talking about this anymore."

I smirk and unlock the front door.

It's sad that we have to give up this house... a house that we used to call home, but since mom died it doesn't really feel like home anymore. There's a lot of bad memories here, but some good ones too. This was my home for 22 years until I moved in to Michael's place, but Ash is only 16... this is much harder for him than it is for me.

*MICHAEL'S POV*

I wish Ness would have let me be there for her at the funeral, but I had to respect her decision. I want to make things easier for her, not harder, so I said I'd see her after the funeral.