Ray Of Sunshine

Chapter 51: Ray Of Sunshine

Words can't describe how good it made me feel to know that Vanessa loves me. I know it isn't easy for her to be so open about her feelings, just like it wasn't easy for me, but I think she trusts me enough now to let me in a little bit more.

It's bitter sweet at the moment though because of what she's going through. I'm glad that she feels that way about me, but right now I'm so worried about her. My main focus is making sure she's ok, and at the moment she isn't coping well, which is understandable. I know exactly how she feels, so I'm trying my best to be there for her. I felt alone when I lost Freya, and I don't want Ness to feel like that.

I stroke her cheek, feeling my heart break every time I look in to her sad eyes. She's been crying so much that her eyes are now red and puffy.

She looks down, and I watch her as she picks up her cup of coffee and takes a sip. I take a quick glance at her arm, but I don't let her see me frown. It really hurts me to know she felt that sad to cut herself. I don't want her to feel worse because she already feels bad for doing it. I was hoping she wouldn't hurt herself... I tried to find her as quickly as I could, but I had no idea where she was.

"I was driving around, trying to look for you." I say softly.

She doesn't say anything, and just stares at her coffee.

"I came here first, but you wasn't here."

She still remains quiet, keeping her eyes fixed on the coffee.

"Where did you go?"

Her mouth stays shut, and her eyes gloss over with tears again.

"Ness?"

She clears her throat, and looks down at the table.

"I saw my dad." She says quietly.

I lower my eyebrows, and don't say anything at first. She glances up at me and sighs.

"He always wrote his address on the letters he sent me... I wasn't thinking straight, and stupidly decided to go look for him." Her bottom lip trembles, but she fights back the tears. "I was just so angry... I wanted him to know that he killed my mom. He's the reason she's dead."

Fuck... no wonder she feels even worse.

"I shouldn't have done it." She shakes her head in frustration. "I shouldn't have even been thinking about that fucking asshole... I should be thinking about my mom."

"You are thinking about her. You're grieving." I frown. "Everyone handles grief differently, and at the time you were angry."

She nods slowly.

"But, if I didn't see him, then I probably wouldn't have cut myself. It's the way he looked at me, like I was a fucking stranger." She says, beginning to cry. "And I just stood there, crying like a fucking idiot! I couldn't speak."

"Ness." I frown, placing my hand on her leg. "You're not an idiot; your dad is the fucking idiot."

She places her hands on her face, and rubs away her tears.

"And to top it all off, he has a family." She laughs. "He has a pretty wife, a little boy, and a little girl. I saw them all together. They looked so happy..." She says, trailing off. "I have another brother, and a sister. I wouldn't be surprised if there's more siblings I don't know about, but it was only them two I saw."

I widen my eyes. Oh no... her dad really is a piece of shit. Ness has way too much to be dealing with right now. First her mom dying, and now she's found out her dad has been living a new life all this time. I really wish I could make this all better for her...