єṅċһѧṅṭяєṡṡ - ṡ.ṡṭıʟıṅṡҡı

49

"One positive thing came out of this" Miss Morrell says. "Stiles' dad got his job back"

"Yeah but Stiles still feels like things are weird between them," Faline says. "Scott and I have been drifting"

"Have you talked to him since that night?" Miss Morrell asks.

"Not really," Faline says. "I mean he has his own problems to deal with though. I don't think he's talked to Allison either. But that might be more her choice, you know. Her mom dying hit her pretty hard-"

"But couldn't you help her?" Miss Morrell asks. "Your mother died too"

"Allison prefers to face her emotions head-on," Faline says. "I much prefer pushing them down. But it bought her and her dad closer"

"What about Jackson? You're close with him right?"

"He hasn't really been himself lately," Faline says. "We still talk but he's dealing with his own issues. The funniest part is, as of right now, Lydia is the one who seems the most normal"

"And what about you Faline?" Miss Morrell asks.

"With Erica and Isaac gone-" Faline begins.

"Two of the three runaways?" Miss Morrell asks and Faline nods. "You haven't heard from any of them have you?"

"How come you're not taking any notes?" Faline asks, picking at her nails.

"I do my notes after the session"

"Your memory is that good?"

"How about we get back to you? Faline?"

"I'm okay," Faline says. "Aside from the not sleeping, when I do there are night terrors that make me wake up screaming, the constant overwhelming fear that somehow he's going to get me"

"He took photos of you at your most vulnerable, it's completely normal that it has lead to hypervigilance. The persistent feeling of being under threat"

"It's not just a feeling," Faline says. "It's like a panic attack. I can't breathe, I can't think, it's just nothing-"

"Like you're drowning?"

"Ironic right?"

"So if you're drowning and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment, what if you choose to not open your mouth? To not let the water in?"

"It's a reflex"

"But if you hold off until that reflex kicks in, you have more time right?"

"Not much," Faline says.

"But more time to fight your way to the surface?"

"I guess"

"More time to be rescued?"

"More time to be in pain," Faline says.

"If it's about survival, isn't a little agony worth it?"

"What if it just gets worse?" Faline asks.

"Then think about something Winston Churchill once said, 'If you're going through hell, keep going. Now tell me about the nightmares"

"They're always the same," Faline says. "I'm in Beacon Hills and I'm running, looking for help. But it's become a ghost town, there's no one. And then there's Matt, there sometimes his face is normal then other times it's bloated and waterlogged. He's screaming at me. 'I'm still here. No matter what, you can't block me out'. Then sometimes I wake up then, other times he pulls out a gun-"

"And he shoots you?"

Faline shakes her head.

"The gun ends up in my hands and that's when I find the citizens of Beacon Hills," Faline says. "Dead"

"By gunshot wounds?"

Faline nods.

"And then I look and my hands" Faline lets a tear slip from her eyes. "My hands are covered in blood, their blood, and I-"

"Faline, this is textbook-"

"There's nothing you've read in some book that can help me," Faline says, standing up. "This whole situation isn't normal, I'm not normal. You can't just textbook me like that-"

Faline stops when Miss Morrell's window shatters.

"I've got to go," Faline says, grabbing her bag and leaving Miss Morrell's room.

"Faline!" Lydia shouts.

Faline keeps walking, ignoring the calls of her best friend.

"Faline, hey, hey, hey" Stiles grabs onto her arms. "What's going on?"

Faline doesn't say anything and just throws her arms around Stiles.

"Hey I've got you," Stiles whispers. "I've got you"