Guardians of Freecaster High #1
"That doesn't make any sense. You were the one who left me. You didn't care anymore."
"If I didn't care, Alexis, then why is it I can't touch another girl unless I'm imagining you?" He pushes against me, trapping me a...
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Going home was not the sweet reunion I was hoping for. I left Jace's thinking I could find solace in the familiar. That my own room, bed, soft sheets, and childhood mementos would comfort me. I pictured myself cooking and baking in my kitchen, clearing my head of all the confusion that filled it.
But I was wrong.
The second I walked through the door of my empty house I was struck with a strong sense of loneliness. Everything felt dark and cold. Even after turning on the lights, unpacking, and cooking myself a small meal. I was frozen to the bone with how alone I felt and how much I missed Jace. I didn't realize how much he had embedded himself under my skin until then.
Though despite the tears I've shed at night when hugging myself to sleep, I've managed to hold on to my resolve. For the rest of the week, I avoid Jace as much as possible. Which is difficult considering how close Marcel has gotten with the other guys. He's all I have left so I've had to suffer through a few awkward lunches. Not that the guys make things weird. They still treat me the same even with Jace sitting at the other end of the table. It's just hard to relax when his eyes drill into me the entire time.
He's tried to pull me aside and explain but I tell him the same thing every time, I'll be ready to talk when he does whatever the hell it is he needs to do. That's one of the hardest parts though. I'm dying to know what that is exactly.
When Mom and Carl return on Thursday, I expect to feel some relief from the cold solitude. Her hugs and warm smile melt away some of the ice, but at night I'm alone again. Sleeping is difficult. As much as I try to stay strong, I imagine Jace's arms around me. His warm body against mine. His steady breaths filling the silence. It's sad, but it's the only way I can get any rest.
The weekend takes forever to roll around, but when it does, my nerves ignite with anxiety for whatever plans Jace has. The stressing is enough to drive me up the wall so try to take my mind off of it by baking all evening. Only when that doesn't work, I call on the one person I know I can always count on.
"How's your mom and Carl?" Marcel asks as I carry a fresh batch of cookies over to the kitchen table.
"They're okay." I half-heartedly nod and sit down. "They were both pretty exhausted but I think Carl's a little bummed out about Mila and Kwan."
"His kids?"
"Yeah. The twins wanted to finish their junior year in New York so Carl agreed to let them stay with their aunt. When summer starts he's gonna go back and get them," I explain as my phone buzzes on the table.
Just looking at my phone plays havoc with my mind but I grab it anyway and take a look. It's not Jace, this time. That fact both relieves and worries me though.
"You should talk to him," Marcel says before stuffing a whole cookie in his mouth.
I glance down at my phone and shrug. "I will, as soon as he's done."
