Ginny through the years

Chapter 21

"Ginny?" A familiar voice called, and I saw Harry walking into the entrance to our little clearing.
"Hey Harry" This was a bit more awkward than I expected, but I decided that we needed to have this conversation, I needed to understand what he was thinking.
"So?" Harry put his hands in his pockets nervously.
"Harry, I'm going to be honest with you. I like you. I like you a lot." I blurted, though for some reason I didn't feel the blood rush to my face as it normally would. I guess I was more comfortable with him then I realized.
"I like you too Gin.  But..." I searched Harry's face, he was trying to find a way to let me down easy. I knew this was a bad idea. "I just can't do that to Ron. He would kill me"
So you're telling me this is about my stupid brother! I can't believe this. "I wouldn't let him." I say, though I can hear my voice get a lot quieter and less confident.
"Ginny. What happens when we break up. Your family is too important to me to give up, I'm sorry," Harry looked at me with his sad green eyes, which had started to tear up. "I do love you Ginny-"
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME. IF YOU EVER HAD ANY FEELINGS FOR ME, MY FAMILY WOULDN'T EVEN BE A PART OF THIS" I yelled, more angry than I had ever been. I felt the tears come to my eyes as I ran out of our little clearing. I slowed down at the exit, just wanting Harry to follow me. But he didn't. Of course he didn't. I can't believe I let myself get so attached to him. As angry and upset as I was, I still couldn't ever imagine my life without him.
"Gin, you okay?" I heard an all too familiar voice call.
I looked over at the clock. 4:00 in the morning, and I just couldn't keep the nightmares away. Madam Pomfrey's sleeping drought worked most of the time, but every once in a while I would get a nightmare, and they were always bad. I looked up at Harry, doing my best to avoid his eyes, which were piercing into mine. "I'm fine, just go" I pointed towards the door, but he didn't budge. "Harry. I don't want to talk, okay? Just leave me alone from now on." I regretted the words immediately, but it seemed to do the trick, because he gave me one last look into his emerald green eyes, and left.
I never went back to sleep; there was way too much to think about, and I couldn't let my mind settle. I walked out of my room, or I guess mine and hermiones. I heard Harry cleaning up his room, and a pang of guilt washed over me. Just because I couldn't sleep, that doesn't mean that he shouldn't either.
When the family made their way downstairs, I had already made pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausage, and eggs. Not to mention the 20 different toppings and such that we had.
I sat at my usual spot reluctantly. I was determined to avoid Harry's eyes, and I was successful. Not that it didn't take a lot of effort to do so. I could feel his eyes on me the entire meal, but I tried my best to focus.
"Alright, everyone!" My mother stood up, "We are leaving for King's cross station in 1 hour. Is that enough time to gather your things?" We all nodded. "Okay then, you all go get your trunks and owls and such together."
I went with Hermione to my room, and as we packed up I told her about last night.
"Ginny, I'm so sorry. I can't believe Harry would do that" Hermione pulled me into a hug, "Maybe it's for the best though. If he can't see how lucky he would be to have you, then he doesn't deserve you. At all."
I smiled, "Thanks Hermione. I just wish it could've gone differently"
"Me too, me too"
We walked down with our luggage, I only had a small trunk full, but it had never bothered me much. We had grown up being taught that money was never the first priority, family, and love always came first.
"Okay, you all ready? Hermione and Ron will go together, as will Harry and Ginny"
I froze. I had to hold that dimwit's hand? Crap. I will just avoid his eyes, and all will be fine. I just need to think about something else. Like how I'll see my friends again at school. Yes, that'll have to be enough.
I felt Harry grab my hand as we walked into the fireplace. As hard as it was, I never looked at him. Not once. "KING'S CROSS!"
As soon as we were safely in king's cross, I let go of Harry's hand. I could see he was hurt, but I knew I couldn't let myself get attached again.
The train ride passed quickly, and I spent most of it catching up with Neville and Luna, and Dean sat with us.
The sorting ceremony passed just as quick, but something was very wrong. Snape was the new DADA teacher, and we all knew he had been wanting the position ever since he started teaching. But it was more than just that. The students, my friends, carried a weight on their shoulders. Even some of the Slytherins were acting nicer, or more just not being mean.
The first few weeks went by fast, and our first quidditch practice came up. I was a little nervous, seeing as Harry was the new captain, but I knew he would be impartial to me. Harry just wasn't like that.
The beginning of practice was chaotic. Everyone was talking, and poor Harry couldn't get a word in edgewise. There was a ton of new people this year, which I'm sure was people trying to get their mind off of what was happening in the real world.
"Okay guys-" Harry tried to get everyone's attention yet again.
"SHUT IT" I yelled. And everyone stopped talking immediately.
Harry looked over at me, "thanks"
I looked away quickly, ready to just get on with practice.