Insomniac||l.s

chapter thirty-nine

Doncaster, England📍

**

It's hard losing somebody.

You spend months with the person and suddenly you guys break up or fall out. And you try to move on and be the bigger person, because that's what makes you powerful, but when you really get to thinking it pains you.

Your brain recollects memories of when you two were together, the happy and the sad, both making you troubled. Emotions are things people can't control.

And that's exactly what was going through Harry's head at the moment.

He had the time of his life when him and Louis were together, the first time they had kissed in that pool below his dads house.

The first time Louis got Harry to sleep—which was unbelievable to Harry's brain.

The first time Louis shared a look with him on his first day at school.

The first time Louis brought him to one of his games, to where they made out in the locker room.

The first time Louis cried in Harry's arms, to the first time they had sex.

And then the first time Louis had told Harry he loved him. . that really got the tears going.

It was currently four a.m., and Harry had his face buried in a pillow and struggled sobs erupting from his throat.

Louis, Louis, Louis. That's all his brain could process. He couldn't bring himself to think of anything else but Louis. And it sucked because it had been a week since he raised his voice at Louis in Zayn's bedroom.

So Harry caved, he grabbed his phone, and called Louis.

His hair was in a disheveled mess, eyes worn almost shut, stomach churning with anxiety, and hand clenched weakly to his duvet. Bright, emerald eyes stared at his phone screen as it continued to ring.

Harry scoffed, it was four in the morning and he suddenly realised Louis would not be awake.

So he went to hang up, and just as he hung up, he heard a quiet: "Harry?".

So now his eyes were alarmed and his body was active, trying to get back to Louis' contact and call him back. Which he already felt like slamming his head into a wall because he fucking hung up.

After two rings the phone picked up again and Louis said nothing. Harry could hear his quiet, familiar kitten-like breathing though. It was calming, it made Harry close his eyes and drop his head back on the pillow.

It was still silent. Part of him knew Louis was confused but he also made no signs of hanging up which tugged at Harry's heart-strings.

His breathing was practically enough for Harry, but then the breathing stopped.

It made Harry scared, his eyes shot open, he was confused. He knew Louis probably wasn't dying but it still made his heart accelerate and pound at the cage of his chest.

"Lou?" Voice quiet and strained.

"I was wondering if you were going to say anything." Louis let out a breathy chuckle, a little strangled making Harry think he had either woken him up or he was. . crying?

"I'm sorry. I, erm. . enjoyed your breathing." Harry decided to be honest with him, and this time he sensed a bit of normal Louis. The one who was his caring, protective, loving boyfriend. Though Louis wasn't his boyfriend anymore, and he didn't care.

"Make you drift to sleep?" Louis mumbled, voice gentle and humble.

Harry only hummed in response, chills riding up his arms at being on the phone with the person he loved. "Bother you?" He asked, eyes staring at the dimmed screen, name of "lou<3" staring back at him.