Before I Go

Chapter 28- You're Not Alone

When I wake up, there's a sharp pain that shoots through my head, immediately followed by a throbbing in my leg. I blink open my eyes slowly, the grogginess lingering longer than it usually does. I can tell without having to look in the mirror that my face is puffy, my eyes are red, and tear tracks are stained on my cheeks. My vision is bleary, remnants of my crying haze and the final seconds of sleep blurring everything together. I rub my eyes with my hands. However, the left one seems harder to move; it's crusted over with something that makes it difficult to stretch out my fingers.

I blink away the obstruction to my eyesight, concentrating on my left hand until it comes into focus. The dried blood covering the entire surface makes my heart stop in my chest; how could I have forgotten? With a deep breath, I look downward, my eyes raking over the rather gory display. How long was I out for? My thigh is practically stuck to the floor, held there with the insane amount of now-crusting blood that apparently came from the deeper-than-expected wounds. I manage to stumble to my feet, feeling as if my skin is literally being ripped from my body as I pull my leg free from its cage.

Biting down on my bottom lip, I somehow manage to suppress the scream that threatens to tear out of my throat. As carefully as possible, I strip off my clothes, discarding them carelessly onto the floor before entering the shower. The hot water feels incredible on my skin, soothing my muscles and stinging the cuts on my leg as it washes away the remaining crimson. I watch it, entirely entranced, as it runs down my leg and into the drain, taking my pain along with it.

My body relaxes, feeling slightly better, and I let out a deep sigh. This... This is better than nothing--I don't think I'll ever feel wholly well. My body is sluggish from not eating for a few days, coupled with the new exhaustion from blood loss and everything I've been going through recently... I'll think about finally putting some food in my stomach later.

When I finish my shower, I wrap a towel tightly around myself and head to my bedroom for some clothes; I'll worry about the mess on the floor later.

Later.

I think I'd put everything off until later if I could.

I really don't feel like doing anything right now...

When I open the bathroom door and step into my bedroom, I'm shocked to see Ashton sitting on my bed. But what surprises me even more is Parker Adams's presence next to my window. I instantly freeze in my spot, dread consuming me quickly.

I'm literally naked right now. In front of Parker Adams. With my "problem" clearly in view for him to see. To judge. He's gonna think I'm a freak; he won't like me anymore, I just know it. He'll see how damaged I am and take the opportunity to run... And I wouldn't even blame him.

My eyes well up with tears as I stand there, completely exposed and vulnerable. Ashton immediately rushes to my side and ushers me back into the bathroom. I want to protest, to stop her from going in there... To protect her from what she's about to witness. But I can't. I can't do anything at all. I'm just stuck.

"Are you okay?" Ash asks, looking more concerned than I've ever seen her before.

I don't answer her; I can't. I'm still frozen. My teary eyes stare at her as I try not to internally combust, waiting for her to look around the horror scene that is the bathroom we're currently standing inside. She doesn't move her gaze from my face, though. Her brows are knitted together in worry, her eyes struggling to contain the wetness that I can clearly see pooling within them. She just looks at me, waiting for a response. Waiting to hear that I'm okay. Waiting for a sign, any sign at all.

"Morgs?" she whispers, placing her hands on my bare shoulders and slightly lowering her head to be more eye-level with me. "Morgan, answer me." When I still don't say anything or move a single muscle, she lightly shakes my shoulders. "Morgan!"

Stupidly, the only reply I can come up with is a stuttered, "P-Parker A-Adams is in m-my r-room."

A rushed breath leaves Ashton's lips, and her eyes flutter closed for a second. "I'm so sorry, Morgan. I'm so sorry," she repeats quietly before dropping her gaze and finally noticing the red stain beneath my feet. I watch her as her eyes go wide with realization, a sudden fear clouding her beautiful face. "This is why I haven't heard from you in two days..." she murmurs, swallowing audibly. "Morgs, are you okay?"

"I-I'm just... Morgan," I reply quietly, trying unsuccessfully to hold back the flood of tears threatening to fall.

"Oh, honey," whispers Ash as she pulls me into a tight, comforting hug. "I'm gonna go into your room and grab some clothes. Then I'll clean up your leg... and then the floor while you talk to Parker."

"Ash," I whisper almost pleadingly; however, I'm unsure how to finish my sentence. I don't want Parker to see me like this. I can't believe he already has; what do I do? "I don't... I don't know if I can talk to him, Ash," I fumble to get out, my face contorting into what's probably the ugliest cry imaginable. "He saw... God, Ashton, he saw me! He saw this, the real me... what if he..."

"You're not alone, Morgan. I'm here. I'll always be here," she gently soothes, brushing one hand over my still damp hair. "I don't think you've got anything to worry about with Parker," she continues quietly. "But no matter what happens with him, you'll still have me, okay? I'm right here, Morgs. I'm here for you."

Slowly, I nod my head, wiping the tears from my cheeks with the backs of my hands. No matter what happens with Parker, I'm not alone.