Hang In There, Althea!

21

Hindi tulad ng nakagawian ko noon, mabagal ang pagkilos ko upang makauwi. I was buying myself time if I should tell him my name already.

Should I?

Nang makarating ako ng bahay ay walang tao. I woner where my sister is. Mas maaga ang uwian niya kaya madalas pag-uwi ko ay nasa bahay na rin siya. Kumibit-balikat na lamang ako at nagtungo na ng kwarto ko upang maligo muli at magpalit na ng damit.

"My name is Althea." I was practicing while I'm on my way to our usual spot. 

"I'll tell you a secret. My name is Althea. No, he won't believe me if I say it like that."

"I'm gonna break my own rule. My name is Althea. Ugh, it doesn't feel right, though." 

I was stressing myself, I know. Alam ko rin naman na kahit mag practice ako ngayon ng mga linya ay hindi iyon ang lalabas sa aking bibig. My heart's beating so fast when I got near the spot but I didn't saw anyone there. Napahinga ako ng malalim.

I wasn't sure what to feel, though. Am I relieved that he isn't here or disappointed?

I sat at the edge of the land and stared at the scenery. It's been quite a while when I enjoyed the view all by myself. Nasasanay na ako na lagi ko siyang kasama sa mga bagay na nakapagpapangiti saakin. Isa na rin siya sa mga nakakapagpangiti saakin.

I guess I'll have to admit that I'm getting attached to him. Or I am actually in love with him, like what Kean told me. But the thing is, I'm not sure if I deserve this or am I worthy enough for this pretty feeling. Another thing is that maybe all this, is still too early. We've only known each other for months.

But is time really a problem with things like this? Like age? 

I was brought back into reality when I felt my phone vibrating so I fished it out of my pocket and saw my sister calling.

"Hello?" Sagot ko.

"Where are you ate? We're at the clubhouse mayroong party, join us dali!" So that explains why no one is at home. I was hesitant. Paano kung dumating siya dito bigla? But on the other hand, I don't want to turn down my sister.

"Okay." I said and ended the call. Mayroon pa namang ibang araw para sabihin sakanya ang pangalan ko. I stood up from my seat, pinagpag ang bandang puwitan at naglakad na patungo sa clubhouse. Medyo malayo-layo iyong but I don't mind the distance. Another thing that gives me some peace of mind or some thinking is when I walk.

I thought about my relationship with Albie, too. I am sad that this happened to us, but I kind of saw it coming. I already felt that he has feelings for me way that a best friend should. I'm not going to deny that I am at fault too, I may have got too clingy with him, or I may have said things that made him wonder why at night.

"Ate!" Tawag saakin ng kapatid ko at nakangiting kumakaway saakin. Kinawayan ko rin siya at nilapitan ko na sila ng nanay ko.

"I thought you'd say no, I know you don't like social gatherings." Aniya. I was stunned for a minute. My heart ached a little because of what she said. So she knows.

Akala ko ako lang ang may alam no'n sa sarili ko.

"Really?"

Tumango siya saakin at niyakap ako sa gilid.

"Yeah. I'm really glad you're coming out of your comfort zone, ate." Sabi niya saakin at naglakad na kami patungo sa buffet table. Lumunok ako upang pigilan ang mga luhang biglang gustong mag-unahan na lumabas mula saaking mga mata.

"Are you alright?" Tanong ng nanay ko nang lumapit siya saakin at inabutan ako ng plato. Tumango naman ako at ngumiti siya saakin.

Itinuon ko na ang pansin ko sa hapag. Iba-iba ang nakahain dahil nga buffet ito. Kaunti lamang ang kinuha ko at hinintay ang kapatid na matapos sa pagkuha ng pagkain.