Blessed With A Curse

Rehab's Over (Ch. 17)

Drew hugged me next and then Haley hugged me next. I looked at Jayy who was still sitting at the island. "Jayy...? Do I get a welcome home hug?"

He broke down and started crying at the sound of my voice. I stared at him in shock, not knowing what to do. He got up and walked outside.

I looked at Dahvie, "I-I. Um... Dahvie?"

He looked sad, "Jayy blames himself for everything that happened..."

"How? Its not his fault, he didn't know"

"He knew about Max relapsing about a week before you knew, so he thinks that if he told someone sooner... Everything would've been different."

"Oh..." I turned to Drew and Haley, "It's great seeing you guys again, we have to have dinner together tonight so we can catch up."

"Defiently Sam, I always love seeing my little sister." Drew said hugging me.

"You know, you're the only person who calls me 'Sam'?" I laughed.

"Well would you rather me call you something else?"

"No you're the only person whose allowed to call me Sam." I smiled.

"Good, 'cause I wouldn't listen to you anyway."

We laughed.

I sighed. "Well I'm gonna go talk to Jayy."

I slowly walked outside and towards the back of the yard to the orchard where I usally go to write or just be alone. Jayy goes to the orchard when he's upset. I walked the long way through the huge garden. As I passed by the fountian, I realized that no one has been out here or hired anyone to keep up the garden since I left for rehab. I need to fix this. I eventually found Jayy sitting under my favorite tree with his eyes closed, but I made a lot of noise walking up so I'm sure he knows I'm here. I grabbed a branch and climbed up a little ways, then layed on a thick branch so that I was looking down to Jayy. After a few minutes of silence I spoke, "I don't blame you Jayy... It's not you fault..."

He didn't speak for a few minutes. "I could have prevented everything from happening the way it did."

"No you couldn't have. I relapsed before I knew about Max doing drugs."

He quickly stood up any looked up at me. "What?"

"I relapsed before I knew about Max relapsing."

"But still, if I told you about Max relapsing a week ealier then how can I know that you wouldn't have relapsed."

"But that's just the thing, you don't know, you have no idea if I would've relapsed or not even knowing."

He started climbing up towards me. "But how do I live with that? How do I live with the what if?"

I sighed. "Yes there is that. But in order to get past that, you have learn how to deal with it. Yes the 'what if' can and will be a part of your life, but you can't let it consume you."

"And how do I do that?" He asked now right in front of me.

"We'll you'll have to learn how to do that yourself. But just know that I don't blame you."

"Alright..." He sighed while looking around.

"What's on your mind?" I asked him.

"Oh nothing..."

"Jayy we've been friends for years, I know when something's wrong."

He sighed again. "I don't want kids Sammi, you know that..."

I covered my mouth as I gasped sitting up. "Are you saying...?"

"Yes, Jen's pregnant."

"Oh my god..." I whispered. "Wait Jen has always told me that she doesn't want kids, why the change of mind?"