My Boyfriend's Lover (boyxboy) *Completed*

The Ticking Bomb

"Fine, but at least give me a hint."

He took a glance at me before nodding.

He thought for a moment before smiling to himself.

"You remember that novel we were talking about, the one from your school days. We are going to a place similar to the one mentioned in it." I frowned at the vague hint.

"That was a historical novel with hundreds of different locations. How would I know which one is it?"

And isn't the novel set in medieval France?

Connor just shrugged.

"That was the most ***** hint in the history of hints." I cursed to no one but it had Connor looking at me with wide eyes. He was literally surprised to hear such a colourful word come out of my mouth.

And seeing Connor looking at me like that had me flushing, I had to look away outside the car to escape those steel colour eyes. Damn my foul mouth, I can only wonder what he must be thinking about me right now. I hear him chuckle and it didn't help at all.

For the next large part of our ride, I kept silent listening to the music on my earbuds. I was still attempting to appear a little bit ruffled with our last chat and it seems to be working fine as Connor kept to the driving and bobbing his head to the light music emanating from the stereo.

Now, when I am away from Connor's place I don't know how I'll continue my search. God knows where he is taking me, I got no contact with Daniel and for some bloody reason, I am getting this churning feeling in my stomach every time I am close to him, like close-close. I mean I did get those shivers when we first met or had sex but this is different. This time it is so real and strong, feels like I have an upset stomach or something.

But as much as I would like to take this feeling like an upset stomach, unfortunately, my inner writer isn't allowing me to do so. I have written enough romantic scenarios, plots to get where this is going and I am not gonna say it. I know what is it and why I am feeling like this and I also know I have no control over this feeling however, one thing that I do know are my priorities which is not what this feeling is developing into.

I need to stick to my plan, I can rely on Steven to help me but I know I have already asked him a lot and he is doing his best to do that.
I am running all out on a hunch and not finding any clue to confirm that hunch is discouraging.

For all I know for sure at this point is that one, I know Connor from somewhere in my past, he may not be a large part of it but I have definitely stumbled upon him at some time, at some part. Second, his entry into mine and Daniel's relationship is definitely not a coincidence. Third, there are other forces acting around us, around me, Daniel, Steven, Chloe and Connor. Fourth, Connor is most definitely in love with me... umm dare I say a lot more than just love and disturbingly in a relatively short amount of time.

Someone who knows me well or is like me at least will find it weird to fall in love so easily. One can say that I am demisexual or guarding myself due to past heartbreaks against my statement but subjectively, I adhered to the notion that you may like someone at first sight taking consideration of their looks or behaviour but to actually fall in love is a completely different dimension.

Honestly, people don't even know what true love is. They go throwing it at each other like water balloons and that is just...

Let's not go in there, I am a writer and once I dwell on a topic I can literally go for hours talking about everything, sometimes even the origin of the god. To be honest, I know I am a sharp mind with messed up edges and as much as it bothers everyone around me, they are no different from me.

Taking Connor into account, he is pretty messed up too. A fine gentleman, charming personality and a great sense of fashion and humour but I have seen it, sensed it and identified it. That deep thirst, pain, accomplishment, hunger, madness, trouble, all... all in those steel grey eyes flashing one after another. And his clenched fists by his side or popping veins on his wrist and temple would give away the self-control he is harnessing to keep those emotions in check.

However, those emotions aren't the reason what bothers me; no it is quite normal even if some of them go to the extreme, however, what actually troubles me is when those emotions surface, the moment, the time for those emotions to take effect is the time when Connor is around me, close to me, touching me, holding me, talking to me.

It scares me to some extent that I am causing a reaction in a person to a level that he has to hold himself back. I looked at Connor from the side of my eye and what I see is becoming a permanent sight around me.

A face smiling in complete bliss as if he had achieved the biggest goal of his life and now nothing is left, except to enjoy the happiness emanating from that goal. I remember a painting of Buddha from the time we were shopping for Steven's Cafe, decoration stuff and all that and while looking at different paintings I stumbled upon this beautiful but amateur work. A painting of Buddha meditating with half-closed eyes and in serene tranquillity around him but what caught my eye most was the subtle smile gracing his lips.

I honestly never understood what was so special about Mona Lisa and her famous smile but looking at that buddha painting at that moment, it dawned on me that it was probably this smile that has somehow able to replicate itself in another work, made people fall in love with it, in love with Mona Lisa and just like me... in love with this painting... pardon me- correction- like this painting.

As it turned out that particular smile has able to replicate itself the third time around and this time not on some random Pandora of magnificent colours but a living being with a far more number of shades. Connor is not in bliss or achieved Nirvana like Buddha but he has definitely got something that has been in his eyes for a long time, possibly an object of great value, or a deal of great worth or maybe a person more precious than anything else.

Probably someone like me, which ultimately brings me to my first conclusion or hunch, Connor McKnight is definitely not a coincidence or an accident in my life.

If I am really the cause of that smile and those pent-up emotions then I am maybe sitting with a live ticking bomb right now. The countdown already seems to have begun and it is only a matter of time before he explodes.