Dark Knights: Knights of Ren XReader

Chapter 20: My Love

Kuruk's words tug painfully at your heart. You can feel it, your wall beginning to crumble, the flame inside you growing. It frightens you. Terrifies you. Unable to keep your tears in, you let them fall, trying to blink around them to see Kuruk's face. He's desperate. Desperate for you to do what he asks. His eyes are vulnerable and soft. A depth in them that you've never seen before. Your mind is frozen- you can't answer him.

Every bad thing that has ever happened continues to flash through your mind. Your mother pushing and slapping you when she was too drunk, or too sober. Hiding from her, from the other children in your neighborhood. Stealing food and clothes, then getting in trouble for it. The day you were kidnapped and sold. Breaking out of your handcuffs in the ship and crash landing it, not knowing how to pilot. The lifeless, mangled bodies of the kind man and your cruel master. Scavenging for pocket change to make ends meat before getting a job. Your entire relationship with Deen. Everything bad that happened from being promoted to the Command Shuttle, until now.

This very room. Your room, that you now associate so heavily with Kuruk. Pushed up against the wall, restrained, clit throbbing painfully, walls pulsing, skin slick with sweat, muscles sore, hair stuck to your forehead. Your heart and mind in a fierce battle of will. If you let go, you'll get hurt, and if you don't let go, you'll get hurt.

Tears continue to fall, but you moan and gasp with pleasure as Kuruk pushes his hand into the wall beside your head, leans his face to yours, and gently touches his lips where your skin and collar meet. His fingers push lightly against your opening, dripping with his cum. All you want is release. For Kuruk to release your orgasm, for you to release your flame. The fear of what that will mean is the only think holding you back. And as usual, he knows exactly what you're grappling with.

"You can be afraid if you want. Let the fear pool around you, then do it anyway."

You blink, heart thumping painfully, breath coming in gasps. He inserts two fingers and pumps them in and out with a sweet intent, rubbing your g-spot. His thumb comes to rest on your begging, sensitive clit. It throbs painfully and you yelp, struggling against your restraints for him to use more pressure. You can't stand it anymore. You scream and cry. Begging and pleading with him.

His finger doesn't budge, but his other hand moves away from the wall and twists your tangled hair around his fingers and palm. He yanks it to the side painfully, pulling your head to expose your neck. You cry out as it sends a wave of pain and pleasure through your entire body, fueling the fire. It has almost broken through- you feel desperate to give in. To open your mind. To be with Kuruk. 

You remember one of your biggest fears about Kuruk. He can't ever be with you the way you need. You will escape the First Order someday, escape this grueling, dangerous life. He won't follow you. The meadow is just a dream. The meadow. The mere thought of that impossible future makes your heart swell, the flame getting bigger. Its less angry now, the way it was before. It's growing whiter, not redder. Kuruk increases his pace of thrusting fingers. You squirm and clench your teeth. You try to open your eyes and focus on the man in front of you. He looks pleading and desperate to make you stop crying.

"Show me." You can barely form the words.

"Show you what?"

His hand untangles from your hair painfully and reaches up to the base of your skull, ready to show you whatever you want to see. Wanting to give you some kind of relief.

"Your love."

He pushes painfully on your neck, harder than he ever has. You scream, feeling your mind being squeezed. The pain of it overwhelming. You see yourself, right now, naked, sweaty, crying, under Kuruk's control. But you feel a painful, overwhelming force in your heart. It's very different than your love for Kuruk. It's desperate, violent, confused. You feel you would die to be separated from the woman in front of you. The pain of her denial to open up to you is physical, primal. It rips and shreds your insides.