The Chapstick Girl

Baby Pictures

Amber's pov:

Not gonna lie, there was definitely an awkwardness in the room when Damien's parents came in.

I thought it would fade over time as we all got more comfortable with one another, but as soon as Damien's mother pulled me into a conversation asking more about me, I couldn't help but feel a little bit...

Overwhelmed.

"You like that little boutique up by Walmart too?! We should go shop there together some time, that would be so much fun!!" Mrs. Black says, excitedly clapping her hands together while I sat there with a forced smile on my face.

Don't get me wrong, it's not her.

If anything, she's been so nice and welcoming to me ever since I met her. She seemed genuinely excited to meet me and just that was enough to relax me a little bit when talking to her.

I guess why I am feeling so uncomfortable is that...

I'm not used to all of this.

At first, it was the getting to know me, what I liked and disliked, and I was surprisingly able to open up a lot more than I thought I would.

It's always hard to open up to a person who you barely know, but for some reason, it was kinda easy for me to talk to her about myself.

She had one of those encouraging smiles and joyful personalities that just made you feel safe to say anything around her.

But at the same time... her actions made me feel uneasy in my seat, and I knew exactly why.

The way we were talking, her encouraging me on to talk about myself, making sure to include every little specific detail, was the same way my mother and I would talk.

She would always ask me about my day with a bright smile on her face, while I told her something like how I somehow got an A on my math test or how I saved a turtle on the side walk...

True story in fact.

But it makes me feel bad because it's not Mrs. Black's fault that I feel like this.

I really wish I didn't feel like this.

I want to feel comfortable while speaking to her because she is someone who has shown me nothing but kindness, and that makes me feel so guilty.

But what makes me feel even more guilty is the fact that she could probably sense that I was uncomfortable. My constant swaying side to side and
my frequent stuttering, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that I was feeling uneasy.

Unless Damien told her, which I really don't think he did, she has no idea about my mom, so she wouldn't know what could be making me feel uncomfortable.

These types of conversations brings back memories that I didn't even know I had.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Damien's intense stare on me as he sat across the room with his Dad and his sister.

I could see the worry on his face as he observed my swaying from side to side. I tried to stop it before, but I ended up giving up since I kept unknowingly doing it again.

As Mrs.Black was continuing to talk, her phone suddenly went off, causing her to dig through her purse to find it. Once she found it, she looked at the screen before up at me, "I'll be right back sweetie, I just have to take this call real quick, it's for work."

I nod my head at her, telling her that it is okay before she quickly rushes out into the hallway.

As soon as she is gone, I find myself letting out a deep breath that I didn't even know I was holding.