Thorns Of The Past.

Unbearable Thoughts And Feelings.

There are some thoughts you can't deny and feelings you can't hide, this is the unbearable...

~about two days later, early at noon, Blue River Pack, Becky's parents' house~

Ryker's pov

"I'm asking you again, cousin! How do you stand it?" Bianca asks me for the third time, in an unusual harsh tone, and I rub nervously the back of my neck, avoiding looking at her.

I can't believe she is against me as well as all the others, and when I say all, I mean it!

Everyone is against me, even Megan, who adores me...

These two days are a real hell for me, I haven't gotten out of my grandparents' house for any reason, I have met nobody except from them and my other grandparents, who came to see me twice, my uncle, my aunts, as Kaitlyn also paid us a visit, my cousin, I mean Bianca, who lives here with my uncle and aunt Kourtney, and last but not least my distant mother.

In addition, I managed to talk with three more persons. The first one is Blaze, who cursed me when I began talking about Hayley, and then hung up the phone abruptly. Well, maybe I asked for it, because I was offending her again, even though it was the first time I did that to him, and I shouldn't have done it, since I know very well his opinion about Hayley already. I was suspecting he would be mad at me for attacking her too, so it was my mistake to open that discussion with him. When I tried to call him again, he didn't answer, and the same thing happened with the two messages I sent him afterwards, no answer. All these happened the first day, quite late at night.

The next one I called was my uncle, who was very serious, his sentences short and his tone very annoyed. The truth is that I was calmer when I called him, and I discussed with him everything, I mean my reasons for not wanting Hayley and for the sudden outburst of mine, but I didn't manage to make him soften. In fact he got angry with me, as I was trying to excuse myself with childish things according to him, and he told me that I have disappointed him very much. He said that Hayley deserves better, and I am unfair and too cold, since he had talked about everything with Gabriel and my mother, and assured me that Hayley was truly getting abused all these years, and... That broke my heart more you know.

I don't know why I felt like a piece of me was dying when I was listening to him telling me more details about it, but I know what I felt, I was in pain, and so was my wolf. And this is another story... He hasn't stopped asking for her, he has been trying nonstop to take full control and run straight to her, and I feel completely helpless. I have never, ever felt and listened to him like I do these two days, and it really kills me.

Rowen adores Hayley already, he has made it more than clear, and the first day we fought more than twice for her, but this stopped the second day, because he doesn't talk to me anymore. I mean he does talk, but alone, not with me. He blames me, just like all the others, he has changed his mind about Hayley from the first moment we saw her, he loves her, he doesn't care about what Michelle did, because he says it isn't connected with Hayley, and I am getting crazy.

I feel like I am a criminal, a murdered. Nobody wants to understand me, they don't even try, and I feel extremely alone and lost!

Even Megan yelled at me and hung up her phone when I called her after I had talked with my uncle. She told me I am unforgivable and she hates injustice, so she won't take my side, although I am her greatest weakness, her favorite.

Also, I tried to talk with Claire and even Kira, but neither of them answered my calls, and I was somehow expecting it from them. They are more sensitive, they had expressed they want to meet Hayley in person, and they won't forgive me for behaving like a heartless animal. Theirs avoidance breaks my heart, as I love them very much and I can't live without Claire, but I understand.