Pictures in my head

I want to stay asleep

June 2020, Seoul

"Welcome Jungkook, how have you been feeling?

"Doc, Its getting to the point that I want to sleep all the time so that I can see the man I love, its the only time I am happy."

"You have been coming to me for a month now, has anything changed?"

"I still cant see his face, but I can see the little girls face now. The dream is becoming clearer, the little girl, the house, and the sex has become mind blowing. Doc I am having 2-3 orgasms a night, untouched, to say it feels real is an understatement."

"In all my years I have never heard of that, I may start taping our sessions. "What does the little girl look like?"

"She is beautiful, she has plump lips and Doe eyes and the chubbiest cheeks. When I look at her and she smiles,  I swear I see so much of me in her, she has my smile, and her eyes look so familiar to me.

"Have you been writing in your journal, read me your last entry?"

Journal Entry #36 In my dream I walked in the door to see my love waiting for me, he hugs me and tells me he loves me and missed me. He calls me Kook-ah, and that seems really familiar to me, no one has ever called me that. He asked me how work was when The little girl runs to me calling me daddy, and I can actually see her face this time. She is beautiful, I hear a voice off in the distance call her Smoochy, she giggles and squirms to be put down, and runs to the person that I cant see. My love feeds me, I can taste it and smell it like it's right in front of me, and its delicious. He then leads me to the bedroom, I can smell the candles he has burning and we make love for hours, I feel his wet kisses and his little bites. I feel them on my skin even after I wake up, when we are done, he kisses me deeply and tells me he loves me and we hold each other and that's when I wake up, crying.

"Jungkook, I consulted a few of my colleagues and none of them have ever heard of this, vivid dreams are not unheard of, but yours seem to go above and beyond the realm of normalcy. If you don't mind Id like to delve a little deeper into this and see if I can figure out what's going on.

"Of course Doc, whatever you need me to do, I need to find out who these people are, I need them in my life. I feel so empty when I am not in my dream."

Knock Knock "Jungkook, I invited your brothers here when I heard they were back in town, I want to talk to them." Hoseok opens the door and lets the brothers in giving them hugs. "Its been to long Hobi-Hyung", says Yoongi. "Jungkook, can you wait in my office, while I talk to your brothers?"

"Sure, I'm gonna go get coffee, Hi Hyung's."

"Alright guys, what can you tell me about your brother, I need everything that you can remember, what was he doing between 2018-1019?"

"He was in school still, and I remember him telling me that he had a boyfriend, one that he adored more than anything. But now that I think of it he didn't tell me a name", Namjoon says. Yoongi and I were gone those 2 years, living in the US trying to build up our clientele, so we didn't really see him much. He came to stay with us for about 2 weeks during school break but his boyfriend couldn't come so we never met him. Then one day, I think sometime early 2018 I asked him about his boyfriend and he said what boyfriend." "He even missed his own graduation, he wasn't himself at that time, I thought it was due to his breakup, but he was adamant he didn't have a boyfriend."

"Hmmm, no accidents or head trauma that you know of?"

"No, our parents would have told us, we may not have always been around but we are still very over protective of him", Yoongi says. "I remember he got a new phone, a nice one. I asked him where he got it he said he didn't know. I looked at it and there were no pictures or contacts and it was a new number, but he didn't seem phased by that."

"How the hell does a person lose 2 years of their life with no explanation?" "A new phone with nothing from his past on there, was he running from something?"

"Not that I know of, I know he stayed in Seoul after school instead of going back to Daegu, and he has an apartment." "I asked him how he pays, he said its paid for in full", Namjoon says

"You guys don't question him more about this, none of this seems sketchy to you?" "You two are so wrapped up in your lives that you don't see there is something going on with Jungkook." "None of this is normal, you ask where he got a new cell phone and he doesn't know?" "Red flags didn't fly high enough for you?" We need to figure this out quick, or he may end up losing his mind.