Pictures in my head

May 2020, Seoul

"Hi Mr. Jeon, welcome please have a seat."
"Call me Jungkook, please."
"I'm Dr. Jeong, but you can call me Hoseok. Namjoon and Yoongi told me you needed to talk to someone. What brings you in to see me today?"

"I think I am going crazy Doc. I'm seeing a lot of pictures in my head, but I have no memory of who or what they are."

"Tell me what you mean exactly, Jungkook, what pictures do you see", Dr. Jeong asked.

"About a month ago I started having unusual dreams, very vivid dreams. Doc, when I say vivid, I mean VIVID." "I have dreamt of a man, I cant see his face but I feel in my heart he is beautiful, I don't know how I know, I just know. When I look at him, even though I cant make out his features, I know he is smiling and it makes my heart race. When he is near me I am happy and content, I also see a child but again I cant make out her features.

" If I smell something in the dream, I smell it when I wake up, If I taste something in the dream, when I wake up, I can still taste it. If the man touches me, I still feel his touch after I wake up.  We have had sex in my dream and its feels disturbingly real, but its amazing sex, I wake up having had an orgasm and I never even touched myself.

"Jungkook, why do you think you are having these dreams about this man and why do they affect you the way you do."

"That's Why I am here Doc, I'm hoping you can tell me." "I have a chunk of time missing in my life and I cant remember anything between the ages of 23-25 years old. I have bits and pieces from my teens, I remember starting college and once and awhile I'll remember just small things, a few months before I turned 25 is when I figured out that I actually had memory loss,  I don't remember graduating from the University, but I have the diploma to prove I did. "I will have flashes of deja vu when I am awake, and when I am sleeping I feel like that dream is my real life, like that's where I am supposed to be." "This life I am living right now is a sham, its fake, and there are times I will hear a song or watch part of a movie that triggers something in me and my heart will start to hurt, I will literally break down and cry." "Doc, It feels like my soul is missing someone, and I cannot remember who it is.

"Were you in an accident, did you hit your head, what triggered the memory loss?" And then what triggered the dreams?"

"I cant pinpoint it, but the first night I dreamt about the man, I was sitting on my bed going over sheet music and I remember a movie being on the tv in the background, and I wasn't really paying attention, but I heard a line from the movie that triggered a flash back, and I felt like it has a meaning." I noticed I became very nostalgic, and sad." "After that I wondered if that's what triggered the dreams." 

"That is a possibility, you said that you have had other triggers, like smells or tastes. What is it you heard, and what was the flashback." 

"I gave her my heart, and she gave me a Pen, was the line.

Flashback

Not sure of the date or place

I was sitting on a couch, and there is a guy straddling my lap, we are kissing and laughing , but I cant picture his face, but I do remember him smelling really good. Like a vanilla lavender is in my nose and it wont leave. He turns to look at the TV and that movie was on and I remember him crying during that part where John Cusack is crying in the rain. End flashback.

 "I have a homework assignment for you, Jungkook." "I want you to keep a journal of everything that triggers you, what you were doing at the time, what you felt and what you think triggered it." "I also want you to write down your dreams, everything you remember from them." I want to see you next week, same day and time work for you?"

"Yea, can I call if I need you before that?"

'Of course, my secretary will give you my personal cell number." "Oh Hey, what movie do you think triggered your dreams?"

"Its called ... Say Anything"