unknown number (rewrite)

the apology

  She lets out a sigh. She feels terrible. Her whole body hurts, but the cause of it is rooted in her heart. She's so scared of losing everything. Everything.

  Something catches her attention from the corner of her eye. It's a white box with some words written on it. It belongs to Ryker; they're his cigarettes. She flips the lid open before she pulls one out.

  She shuffles around, looking for the lighter he typically carries with them. Once she finds it, she heads down the stairs. She passes by Ace's door just as it opens, and he steps outside. The couple's eyes meet. For a split second, the world stops, and they're left there staring at each other.

  He notices she has the cigarette and lighter in hand, "I didn't know you smoked."

  "I typically don't..." she gives him a half-smile before she continues her sentence, "Unless I'm stressed."

  He stays silent for a few moments as he closes the door behind him softly, "Let me walk with you. Sabo fell asleep on my couch for the night."

  She nods, her heart skipping a beat as he grabs her arm and pulls her in the direction of the outdoor bench. He quickly lets her hand go when he remembers the last time he touched her, he ruined their relationship.

  "Ace..." her heart sinks immediately as his hand retreats. And after a few moments of silence, she suddenly finds the courage to speak again, "I'm so glad that you're okay."

  He stops in his tracks. He wants to snap back at her. And the worst part is, he's sure she wouldn't mind. She would agree with him and think she deserves it. But she doesn't. And he knows that.

  "I was so worried that you weren't going to come back. I don't know what I would've done," she stands a few feet behind him, staring at her feet. She doesn't know how to word the thoughts running through her mind. "I... this sounds so weird, considering that we've barely known each other, but I was wrong.  I can't live my life without you. And I know it's weird! But I need you!"

  She lowers her voice, no one else needs to hear what she's saying. This is a private conversation, there's no need to yell, "You make me feel seen. I haven't felt this way since the beginning of my relationship with Ryker. I feel heard around you, I feel like I don't have to pretend."

  "If you don't feel those things with Ryker..." Ace doesn't turn around; he knows what he'll see. And it would break his already fractured heart. "Then why are you still with him?"

  But she doesn't have to say anything. He already knows the answer, because he was the same way. He did the same thing. He ignored what everyone else said. He ignored all the hurt and abuse she put him through. He pushed the ones who supported him away in order to keep her. He stayed with her despite all the warning signs.

  "Because at one point I did feel this way with him," she rubs away some of the tears rushing down her face. "He made me feel more special than anything in the world. And I believe we can have it again. I want that more than anything."

  "And if he told you to stop being my friend," he turns around, looking into her eyes. "Would you? Would you be willing to go through this again? For your ultimate happiness? If I hadn't come back how easily do you think you would've moved on? The only reason you're here right now is that you were afraid of me dying! And the only reason you're even worried about that is that you would've felt guilty! You're just trying to absolve your own guilt!"

  "Did you even think for a second how it made me feel, (Y/N)?!" Ace puts his hand on his chest. "What about me? The first person I let close to me in years just wanted to abandon me! I told you so many things that my brothers don't even know! I care about you (Y/N)! And I don't think you realize that. I don't know if you realize how similar we are. And it sucks to see someone go through the same thing you did. Everything you're going through, I've experienced."

  "I lie awake at night, with all the memories flooding me. I feel like I'm drowning in them," he lets out a shaky breath, lowering his arm. "And the worst thing is; I'd much rather still be back there than right here, right now. I'd rather go back to having that false sense of happiness than be here."

  "I'm sorry," she wraps her arms around herself. "Ace... I'm sorry. But I'm too scared. I can see his old self in there. I feel like he's dying. And I need to save him."

  "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you can't save everyone, (Y/N)," his voice comes out coarse, it suddenly dawns on him that he's crying. "And if you try, you'll end up dying along with them."

  "I don't want to save everyone," she whispers, swallowing hard. "I just want to save him. He deserves to be as happy as he made me. I can't leave him when he's hurting this badly, Ace."

  "The longer you stay with him, the harder it'll be to leave when you need to," he looks up at the night sky, the stars are barely visible. "I guess that's the only good thing about her dying. I had to leave her. There was no option of staying longer. Not like she was going to give me that option anyway."

  "And that's what sets us apart," he sticks his hands in his pockets, this conversation hurts him. "I'm already starting to heal. Pretty shittily, I'll admit. But I'm at least in the process of it. And you're still in the process of being hurt. I'm sorry I was harsh. I spoke without t-"

  He's interrupted with her body crashing into his, her arms wrapping around his torso, "No. You're right. I was being selfish. And I'll continue to be. But I beg you to stick by me. You're the only person I can trust to set me right, Ace."

  His mouth forms a smile as he wraps his arms around her and pulls her closer, "Of course. I'll be here for you. Because..."

  He trails off. He's too scared to finish. He knows what he was going to say, but he also knows that he's moving too fast. There's no way that he could actually be in love with her so soon.

  Some distance away, Ryker looks down at them from his balcony and smiles. He feels relieved in some way, but also sad. Like he's watching a happy ending, and knowing that he'll never get one himself. He has no clue what they said, or why they were even arguing in the first place, but he can tell that they both truly care for each other.

  And it's refreshing. He could disappear, and he'd know that she'd be okay. Sure, it will hurt. But with Ace by her side, he's sure she would make it through. But he can't go just yet. Just a little while longer. He can change. He's sure of it. For her happiness. He can do it.

O.o