unknown number (rewrite)

the group

What are your thoughts on the difference between this and the original?

If you haven't read the original, then what are your thoughts of the book so far?
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The first half of work flies by and most of lunch too, but as Ace realizes it's getting close to the end of the break, time starts to crawl. He's prepared. He knows this, but he's also still nervous. What if he didn't get what needs to be said? What if he doesn't understand a question that he's asked and answers it incorrectly?
  What if he slips up and says (Y/n)'s name and gives away that they're neighbors. Or worse, what if he slips up and says something about the ride to work he gave her yesterday. He shakes his head, he's fine. He's got this.
  He suddenly feels a hand in his shoulder, "What's wrong, Ace? Nerves got the best of you?"
  "Ben!" Luffy throws his hands up in the air and gives the older man a wide smile. "Did you come to check on Ace? That's so kind of you! Oh, by the way... aren't in in charge of training...? So what are they doing right now?"
  "They have lunch break. Shanks said that it's unfair to keep them here without giving them time to have a proper lunch..." Ben takes his hand off of Ace and shrugs. "But maybe it's because he felt sorry that I was put in charge of training and decided he'd give me a chance to calm down."
  The long-haired man tilts his head to the side as an announcement on the intercom echos throughout the building, "Beeeeeeeen! I need you in my office! Something happened!"
  "Or maybe he just wants to use this break as time he gets to use you himself," Robin shakes her head as the man shakes his head.
  "This is why I have gray hair..." he punches the bridge of his nose. "Ace. You know where to go right?"
  The black-haired man nods before Ben turns on his heel and walks away. Ace feels bad for the man, he never catches a minute of alone time. He's more of a CEO than Shanks, but who's he to judge. And that's besides the point, he has more pressing matters to focus on, namely, the fact that he has to teach a whole class. Well, not teach, give tips.
  "Tell me if there are any pretty women in the class, Ace!" Sanji leans over the table and stares at Ace. "It's your duty."
  "Yeah, because that's why Shanks got him to help them out," Nami rolls her eyes before she gives Ace a small smile. "Make sure they double your pay for doing this."
  "Guys! We're neglecting the fact that he's going up in front of many people... he's public speaking! Do you know that public speaking is the number one fear in the Unite States?" a man with long, curly black-hair, Ussop, looks around at the group, who unlike him (and about 25.3% of American citizens) don't have that fear.
  "Yes, if Ace has Glossophobia... and he goes up there..." Robin places her chin between her fingers as she goes into deep thought. "He could have a panic attack and die..."
  "Ussop! Ace is going to be fine! The thought of doing it is scarier than actually doing it!" Luffy stands up and puts his hands on his hips. "Robin! Quit being so morbid all the time! Ace's got this!"
  "Ace has got what?" a man with light-blue hair spiked up comes into the lunch room. A toolbox in his hand before he sets it on the table their sitting at. "What did I miss?"
  "Ace is helping out in the training room today after lunch..." Zoro, a pastel green-haired man lifts up his head. "You guys are being too loud. I need my nap..."
  "Franky! Where have you been the past two days! And Zoro! Don't just put your two cents in on that! Actively participate in our conversations!" Luffy folds his arms. "And he's missed a lot more than that!"
  "I had to work over lunch, I was setting up the new room for the new recruits. So I needed to build about twenty new desks, it requires a lot of manual labor. I'm sorry," the man shrugs before he pulls out a sandwich from his coat pocket and unwraps the plastic wrap around it before digging in. "And that opportunity is super, Ace. Congratulations."
  Ace starts to laugh, quietly at first, but he gradually gets louder. The rest of the group joins in. Ace doesn't know where he'd be without having this group here. He doesn't know where he'd be if Luffy didn't help him get this job. He owes so much to this group.
  After the laughter dies down, Ace looks over everyone in the group. Zoro sleeps all the time, a bit egocentric, and drinks a lot, but he's still reliable. Ussop might be a bit cowardly, but he knows when he needs to step up and take charge. Nami is a a penny-pincher, stubborn, and extremely conniving, but strangely generous with her kindness.
  Sanji is a man who has some serious conflicting views, but he's not a bad person. Robin is morbid and scary at times, but really knows what's on a person's mind. Franky is eccentric and says super way too often even when it doesn't really fit, but he definitely knows how to get people to smile. Brook, isn't here, but he's a talented musician who always wants to get people to feel good when listening to his songs.
  And... Luffy. His own brother. The one who wiggled his way into Ace's heart when they were still just children. One of the only people who accepted him and loved him. Luffy is a catalyst. Where ever he goes, good only tends to follow. Thanks to Luffy, Ace was able to live a childhood without all the pain he has now.
  Every time Ace sees Luffy's smile, a little bit of weight in his chest goes away. Luffy inspires him. Despite being a bit selfish, desperate, and clingy, Luffy has the magnetic ability to draw people to him. He has likability. You either love him, or hate him. There's no in between.
  He suddenly notices the tome and stands up, "I've got to get going if I want to make it on time. Thanks for your words, guys."
  They all wave after him before they realize the time and start to gather up their things. The only two left at the table by the tome Ace gets to the room is Franky, who still hasn't finished lunch but doesn't care since he was late to lunch, and Zoro... who unsurprisingly is still asleep.

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