HALCYON

ATATAKAI

Bao was always a great listener. I never had to question if he was paying attention to me, and he always asked questions in between whatever I saying so that I knew he was for sure.

May 7th, 2020. It was one of those days where Bao and I just sat in my room and talked. We always had nice conversations even if we didn't stick to a certain topic, and that was just one of those days.
It sounds nice, but the reason we were subjected to just sitting around well, it was because of two reasons. One being, we were quarantined duh. The second being, Bao's chest was hurting him.
It made him way less energetic.

It was midday and he had been sitting around all day, when usually he would be trying to fake tackle me or rush us to his house to watch a movie.

The crazy thing to me was, we had been around each other for a year and something-but this was the first time he ever told me that his chest was hurting him. Also, this was the first time I could tell it was too.

He had stayed in the room waiting for me since Lucy had called me out to help her carry some food to my grandmother. I wasn't the slightest bit irritated because I liked Lucy, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't rolled my eyes on the way out the room. Of course, I didn't go in my grandmother's room. That would've been problematic, so instead I just waited behind the door while Lucy sat the food she had down, and waited for her to come back out and take what I was carrying too.

I was a bit nervous actually, I didn't go over mentally what I would do to help Bao if his chest hurt. I had been too set on not treating him any differently due to his issue that I completely disregarded how capable I was of helping him.
Once lucy had taken the tray away from me, I almost ran back into my room when she went in my grandmother's room. When I got back into my room, Bao was on my bed.

"Bao, like uh, is there anything I can do to like..help you with your chest?" I asked hesitantly.
I had read books where a character had an issue with their body in some way be it pain or insecurity-but whenever help was offered they seemed more offended than appreciative.

"Give me a hug?" He smiled out exposing his gap.

I should've known he wouldn't have answered me seriously.
He had his head up against the headboard, with his legs stretched out in front of him. He was wearing green basketball shorts and one of my t-shirts.
It was normal for us to be wearing something that belonged to each other, but it wasn't common for me to feel, i'm not sure, not satisfied? Not satisfied by answers he gave me.
This was new. When there was no pain, my questions were answered to the best of his ability. If there was pain, and you asked about it, your answer would be vague or a joke at best.
His eyes were trained on me as if he was waiting for my reaction. I sighed and I almost would've frowned if it hadn't been for my legs who dragged me to Bao.
Before I could frown, arms were being wrapped around my waist holding me in place.

"The next time I ask that, I'll be expecting an answer." I said dismissively as I rubbed his head that was lying against my stomach.
He didn't respond and he just squeezed me.
I could feel him breathing. I loved to hear him breath. Whether he was out of breath, or he was softly snoring as he slept. I think due to my parents, I had restricted my relations to a minimum. I didn't want to go through anymore emotional investment for the same anticlimactic and painful inevitable end.

Thinking back on this, after I got around Bao, I disregarded this thought almost unconsciously. I loved love, and I loved Bao even more than that. I'm sure of it.