HALCYON

KURUMA

My first romantic relationship started on November 30th, 2019.

It was with a boy, and that boy was no other than Bao lake.
It was Sunday morning, two days after we had confessed our feelings for eachother. He had called me the night before and asked if I was up to go on a ride with him. Of course, I said yes expecting him to tell me where Amber was taking us.

"No, I'm driving us somewhere." He told me after I voiced my expectations.

"You? You have a license or..." I questioned doubtfully.

I mean, that was the same guy who sat in the backseat when he was with Amber.
He didn't even sit in the passenger seat..

"No, but-"

"Bro, that's illegal." I cut him off, as I had already been mentally rejecting the idea.

"We're not going too far, it's just like a joyride." He informed me, and even though we weren't on FaceTime, I could see his grin.

"If it's not far, why don't we just walk smart guy?" I argued.

"Didn't I just say that it's a joyride-how is it even gonna be a ride if we walk.." His voice trailed off as I facepalmed.

"What do you know about a joyride anyway? You don't even have a license." I mumbled sharply.

I was not mad, I was just being cautious. It's not that I was against going on a joyride with him but,
it was Bao.
He always looked at me and joked with me.
He liked me, and he was always touching me.
What if he got distracted while he was driving?
What if we got pulled over?

What if we ended up like my parents?

I avoided cars. I walked or took the bus to wherever I wanted to go. If that was anyone else, the idea would've been rejected immediately. I only accepted at first because I thought it was Bao's sister for one, and two at least she had a license.

"Please, I've driven before. I'm a good driver if I say so myself."

He tried to sound neutral, but his last sentence threw the whole attempt away.
I thought about what he said, and then smacked my teeth as soon as I caught the last part of what he said.

"If YOU say so yourself-No. That is not it at all Bao."

I quickly stated, putting emphasis on the you. How could he just say if HE said so like there wasn't other people on the road when he drove.
Like, I wouldn't be in the car with him.
What about the rest of us? He could've been a trash driver.
I heard him make a weird noise before he replied to me.

"Jace, don't you trust me?" He inquired.

His voice sounded more serious than before and I could already see him batting his eyes as he said that, it was a habit of his when trying to convince me to do something.
I did trust him but, I also trusted my parents.
I also trusted their car,
and the roads we often drove on.
Trust would not save us from an accident.
Trust would not make us fireproof.
Trust was not the issue.

"You already know that I trust you." I whispered into the mic as I chewed on my lip.

I wanted him to know how much of a risk driving was, especially driving without a license.