HALCYON

TABAKO

It was November 28 2019, when I gave my first kiss to Bao.

I had texted Bao earlier that day and he had given me these ominous responses. I asked him how his day was, and he just gave me an alright, which he never did.
He would've usually given me his whole day's agenda and asked me how was mine, expecting a full recount in return. He didn't do that though, he just told me his was alright and that he just hoped my night would be better than his. I didn't even understand it, not at all.

Bao, having a bad night?

It's not that I thought he was just endlessly happy, I knew he wasn't but he was always so open with me, I didn't know what to make of the indifferent messages. It was unlike Bao and it wasn't like I was right next to him to see what was up with him, or comfort him. I asked him what was wrong with him, and he just told me that he was tired.
Tired, like I was supposed to just leave it at that.

Like I hadn't been with him long enough to tell even the slightest changes in his moods.

I knew when Bao was sad, and I always tried my best to distract him from whatever was hurting him.
I wasn't going to let him just be sad-at least not by himself.
With that in mind, I had went to his house. I didn't tell him I was coming, and I didn't waste anytime before I did. I wasn't thinking about his sister or that the sun already set, I wasn't even thinking about my grandmother. She had Lucy, anyway.

It was about 9:21 pm when I showed up to Bao's house. It didn't take long but it was already 9:00 when we started to text. I felt a bit extreme showing up at his house like that-even a bit intrusive but, I just couldn't shake the feeling I had.

I didn't like the idea of Bao being sad,

especially not on a Friday night,

all by himself.

When I got there, I noticed Amber's car wasn't there and just figured that she was with her boyfriend. She was always with her boyfriend. Everything seemed to irritate me as I knocked on the door.
Why wasn't she ever home?
Why was Bao sad?
Why didn't he tell me what was actually wrong instead of just saying he was tired?

When it came to Bao,
I found out that I could get riled up pretty easily.

I heard footsteps approaching the door and that's when I finally stopped my 'knocking' which was actually just me banging on his door. The door opened and all I could smell was cigarettes. I didn't even get to dwell on the smell once my eyes zoomed in on the person that stood in front of me.

It was Bao, but not the one I was used to seeing. Bao usually wore a gapped smile with bright brown eyes, but then his lips were pressed into a thin line, and his eyes were puffed from what had to have at least been thirty minutes of crying.
He wore sweats that were too big for him and he didn't even care to tighten the drawstring as they started to hang a bit low in the front. His tank was stained and hell-his whole appearance looked sad.

It frightened me really,

what could make Bao look so out of it?

What could be troubling him so bad?

I saw his eyes twitch a bit when realized it was me at the door and I felt my heart drop a little. I lost all reasoning after he hesitantly let me in and locked the door. As soon as he was finished, I just grabbed his hand and dragged him up the stairs. He didn't even ask me what I was doing there, he just let me pull him.