Transgendered: My Story

crap

Hey guys! Today was a very crappy day for me. First off I wake up in the morning with my body aching all over.

Second, I couldn't go to gsa because my body hurt so much.

Third I slept when I got home so I can't go to sleep now.

Fourth, I have been holding back tears all day and every time my friends tease me cuz that's the way we are, I almost burst into tears. Most of the time having to cover my face. Sucked because I couldn't joke back.

Fifth, my dad made me take a shower instead of a bath because I hardly take baths anymore cuz of my body. So I almost fell in the shower because my whole body hurts so bad.

So yea bad day today and I have a feeling tomorrow will just as bad.

I'm suddenly so depressed and I don't even know why. I can't do anything without almost breaking down to the point that I can't even do anything at all. I couldn't even smile. I feel like I'm dying from the inside out.

And tomorrow I'm suppose to go to church and act all happy and I don't know how I'm gonna do that during my youth group there.

Guess the only really good thing is that my Spanish teacher now calls me leo even in front of the class which I like but she still uses female pronouns but one step at a time right? And it confuses my classmates and it's a bit funny seeing that they don't understand why she is calling me leo.

I plan on telling my whole small group at church about me being transgender tomorrow and that scares me but I have to do it. My day is always just a bit better when I know that I can go to school and be called leo by my friends so why not church to?

And it sucks because next year or the year after that I have to have a gym credit and that means changing in the locker rooms.

Idk if I can handle that.

I'm gonna start drivers ed here soon so that in march I will be able to drive without an adult with me. I can't wait. Then I can actually go to the store without my dad on me so I can't get guy stuff if I can hide it from my dad.

Also my friend Katy says she wants to take me shopping so I can actually get clothes and stuff like that, so I can feel better about myself.