Dear Emma

chapter 24 || ryder

"Today, we're going to switch it up a bit," Jayden says, glancing at his clipboard. "We're going to focus more on the happy memories. Before you guys arrived to camp, you were told to bring a picture and an object that reminded you of your loved one, correct?"

I nod, remembering all the objects I could've brought. The plastic ring, her scrunchie, the necklace I gave her for our 6-month anniversary.

"Sweet. Go get them really quick and come back here." We stand up, Callie and Kai heading towards their cabin while Hayden, Zach, and I head the opposite. In the spirit of making amends, I have one other person to fix things with.

I jog up beside Hayden. "Hey Hayden," I say, falling in step with him.

"Ryder," he says curtly, without looking at me. Understandably so. I did tell him to fuck off and fuck you in so many words.

"Look, man, I'm really sorry about the other day. It wasn't fair of me to go off on you when I was dealing with my own shit," I sigh. I still don't like him and I still don't want him with Kai, but if she likes him, then I'll try my best. It's what friends do.

He scoffs. "Yeah, no kidding."

"Kai is my best friend and I care about her more than anyone else in the world. And we hardly know you. I was just trying to protect her," I say.

"You, know, I get it. I'm the same way about my sisters." He flinches slightly. "Just sister now, I guess." He grows silent for a moment, the loss of his twin hitting him. He opens the door to our cabin, heading in with me trailing behind him.

"So we cool?" I ask.

"Yeah, we cool," Hayden agrees before heading to his side of the room, leaving the conversation at that. Alright, maybe I tolerating him is the more achievable goal.

I go over to my own side, opening the backpack on my bed. I pull out a pink stuffed elephant, no bigger than my arm. Looking at it reminds me of one of the greatest days of my life.

But it's also a reminder of everything I lost too.

Sighing, I tuck the animal underneath my arm, zipping the bag up and tossing it on the floor.

As I head back to the group, I think about what Kai mentioned yesterday, about Callie. I mean, she's pretty and nice and overall just amazing, but she's just a friend. Of all the people to start anew with, Callie is a great option. Just not for me.

When I reach, I watch as Callie and Kai talk, a smile plastered across Kai's face, the type of smile where it reaches her eyes. I haven't seen that smile in a long time. I lean against the tree, watching as she takes a strand of her hair, twirling it around her finger as she chuckles softly at something Callie says.

Callie turns around and spots me, her face lighting up.

"Ryder! Don't stand there like a weirdo, come here!" she shouts, chuckling a little. I push myself off the tree, walking over to where they're sitting.

"I wasn't being a weirdo," I say, ruffling Kai's hair a bit before sitting down next to her. She swats my hand away, mumbling something incoherent.

"Yeah, totally, normal just watch others all the time. Not weird at all," Callie says.

"Exactly, thank you," I say, looking over at Kai. Her smile is gone and she's staring intently at the ground. I nudge her sightly and she looks up at me. "You okay?" I ask softly.

"Yeah. Didn't sleep well last night," she replies, rubbing her eyes and looking away from me.

Before I can pry further, Jayden starts to explain today's activity.