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~*~
"This is the game piece that I used the first time I ever played a board game with the Jacobsons," Callie starts, holding a small, purple, object in her hand. "When I first came to them, I refused to participate during Friday game nights. We would eat dinner, usually pizza, and they would gather by the kitchen table and roll out this huge whiteboard where they kept score. The first Friday I was there, I hid in my room the entire night, curled into a ball with tears dripping down my face. They were all so close and here I was, an imposter. I knew it wouldn't be long until I was ripped away. In the foster system, getting attached to a family was like suicide. And I couldn't go through it again.
"Weeks passed and slowly I started sitting with them instead of hiding in my room. Laughing at Meghan's jokes. Teasing Jane, my mom, alongside Meghan and Rob. Before I knew it, I'd been with the Jacobsons for 5 months. On my 13th birthday, which happened to be a Friday, we went out to dinner and we had cake and they surprised me with adoption papers. I was ecstatic, because the entire time I tried not to get attached, I'd let my guard down and got attached.
"When we came home, I asked if they were going to do game night, to which they said no too because they didn't want me to feel left out, knowing that I never wanted to play." Callie gives us a sad smile. "The way their faces lit up when I asked them if I could play. Jane started to cry a bit too. It was the first time in my life I felt like I was home." She stares down into her palm, twirling the game piece between her fingers.
I look at her, wondering how the hell she seems so okay with everything. Having only a few years with your parents before getting them ripped away in just an instant, especially after growing up without a set. I can't even begin to imagine the pain I would be in.
But I remember how well Emma hid her pain from the rest of us. How no one knew how bad it was until she was gone. I make a mental note to check in on Callie often. I refuse to let another one of my friends suffer in silence.
"It's not the same thing, but you'll always have a home with us here," Jayden says. I reach out for her hand, giving it a squeeze.
"He's right. You're always going to have us," I say, smiling. Callie looks up, tears welling in her eyes before she swipes them away quickly.
"Thanks, guys," she says her voice wavering slightly. "Ok, someone else go before I completely lose it."
"I can go," I say. I take a deep breath, prepping myself to share another part of Emma. I maneuver the bracelet off my wrist, the metal balls warm in my palm.
"She gave me this bracelet a few years back, right after she came back from her aunt's house. I think we were in the middle of 1oth grade, around spring break. Anyway, she stopped by my house, handing me this small paper bag, this bracelet inside. She explained to me that each of the beads represented one year of our friendship, thus the five beads. I felt like such a bad friend because she always thought of small things like this, but she never cared. She loved to give gifts.
"I told her that I'd never take it off, that I'd cherish it until the day I died. But after the paramedics left my house and I was alone, I ripped it off of my wrist, chucking it as far as it could go. It was just a reminder of what she did." I squeeze it tight in my hand, remembering everything that this little bracelet stood for. "I found it tucked behind my dresser when I was packing for here."
We should've had more than just five completed years of friendship. We were supposed to have forever together, but we didn't.
"Use the bracelet as a reminder of the life she lived, Kai," Jayden suggests. "It sounds that you guys had an amazing friendship and time together."
I rub the beads between my fingers, thinking about our five years and all the memories. From the first day we met to her last day, we always had a good time together, even if it was simply being in each other's presence.
"Yeah, we did," I say, slipping it back on my wrist. I glance at Ryder who's watching me with a look on his face I can't quite decipher.
"Hayden, wanna finish us off?" Jayden asks. I look over at my boyfriend, all of last night's thoughts rushing back. I push them away, promising myself that I'll deal with them after group is over.
I watch as he takes a deep breath, letting it out agonizingly slow. "This was Syd's favorite funko pop she owned." He holds up the small action figure and I immediately recognize it from one of the Marvel movies. "For those of you that don't know, this is Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, which was her favorite movie. Ever since we watched the first Iron Man movie in theaters, she became obsessed with Marvel, collecting every funko pop she could get her hands on. I gave this one to her for her 16th birthday, after she complained that it was sold out everywhere.
"When I went into her room after she died, I went ape shit. I started to tear apart her room but when I saw this-" he gestures to the action figure "-I broke. We were watching the movie with Groot in it the night she died," he says softly.
"Know that she passed with her last memory of spending time with her twin brother watching her favorite movie," Jayden says.
"She would've killed me if she knew I took this out of her room." Hayden chuckles a little, running his thumb over Groot's face.
"I bet she's watching you, glad that you can take care of him now that she can't," Zach offers.
"Or maybe she's fuming with smoke coming out of her ears," Callie giggles.
"Who knows, right?" Hayden says, laughing along before everything fizzles out and a layer of silence coats us.
I grab both Hayden and Callie's hands, watching their hands move to grasp the other's. I close my eyes and squeeze, surrendering to the safe feelings as they engulf me, a feeling I used to only have around Ryder and Emma.
For a brief moment, I lock eyes with Ryder, who's already looking directly at me before looking away, Zach's words ringing in my ears.
The second we let go of each other, I make a beeline towards the communal bathrooms in the main hall, needing a moment to figure out what to do with Ryder and Hayden.
The only thing I know for sure is that I need to talk to Hayden and figure out where we lie.
After that, my own personal hell might just break loose.
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whoa who am I? 2 updates in a month, who is she lol
anyway, we're close to wrapping Ryder and Kai's story but hint hint this won't be the last time you're seeing them! stay tuned for more information :)
check out Collide With Me on @theheartsandsouls account, new chapters coming soon on there too :)
please vote and comment if you haven't already!
signing out now
themusicsoul
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Dear Emma
Teen FictionEmma Baker was her best friend. She was also his girlfriend. Until she wasn't anymore. And what better way to replace the hole that she left than alcohol? ~*~ Emma is gone. But her boyfriend, Ryder, and her best friend, Kai, are still here. And they...
