TANGLED TO OUR PROMISE

8: WHAT NOW?

"I underestimated you, Mae. At first, I thought you would drown yourself in tears when you learned that you could not walk. I guess I am wrong, and you are one hell of a stubborn woman, just like your sister."

"When I fall back there, I know I can't survive. Here I am fucking alive. I know hindi ko pa time sabi nga ni Marrion inayawan ako ng reaper. When he said I couldn't walk, It was too much to accept, but what's the use of crying? Can tears save me right now in this situation I'm in?"

"No, but I am here if you need a shoulder to cry on."

"What happened to the little girl?" I slowly ask.

"I think you overstressed yourself. How about if I come ba--"

"STOP!"

Nag pakawala muna siya ng malalim na buntong hininga bago siya tumingin sa akin. "She didn't make it. What happened to you was miracle. After the uperation conducted sayo they give us twenty four hours para magising ka para ma check if gagaling ka or hindi. And you did wak up staring at the ceiling for hours then when you sleep you are on coma again. Here you are finally, handa ka ng magising."

I closed my eyes and suddenly felt guilty about the little girl's death. And I can't help but cry. "Was it my fault Robin? Kung hindi ko ba siya sinalo mabubuhay pa siya?"

"Look, it's not your fault! All we did was try to help, and you didn't know you would fall with the girl. You are protecting her will all your might, but saving her or not, she will still die from falling. Were humans Mae. We are not born superheroes with superpowers."

"Do you think she'll hate me?"

"No, there's no reason for you to think that!"

"Yeah, I'm such a failure. I broke his heart. He maybe hates me right now."

"His heart? Who's he?"

Natigilan ako, nang tumingin ako sa kanya ay nakatingin din pala siya akin. "Yeah, I need to relax now. I feel sleepy."

"Is he the five years promise guy?"

Bakas sa mukha ni Robin ang sakit. Ayoko siyang masaktan pero mas ayoko siyang paasahin. "Yeah, my boyfriend."

Tumango lang siya. "Magpahinga ka na." saka nagsimula ng maglakad sa pintuan.

"Robin....." Tawag ko sa kanya, nilingon niya ako at nag smile siya. "Sorry, pero hindi ko masusuklian ang nararamdaman ninyo ni Marrion sa akin. I love him. I don't think kaya ko pang maghal ng iba pa. Paano ko kayo maipasok sa puso ko gayong ukupado niya ang buong parte nito?"

"Mae..."

"I'm sorry, Robin. I'm sorry. I owe you my life. Please don't ask me to love you back."

"Mae, I really love you with all of my heart, but i will never ask you to love me kung hindi bukas sa puso mo. Gusto ko, pag mahalin mo ako, yung handa kana at wala nang siya. "

Iniwan ako ni Robin. Pero imbis matulog gaya ng dahilan ko, ay umiyak ako. I burst into tears.

I'm too late to see him, and in this situation, I'm in? I don't want him to see me like this. I'm sorry Black pero mukhang matatagalan pa bago tayo magkikita. Im sorry, galit kana ba sa akin?

Iyak ako ng iyak when all of a sudden, a door opened. I saw Blade na umiiyak. "Ate?"

"Blade? Blade..."

Iyak ako ng iyak. "Hush! Tama na ate," alo ni Blade sa akin. "Sorry wala ako to take care of you. Wala akong mapag-iwanan ni daddy at ako din mismo ang kumalap ng ebedensiya sa case ni daddy. But nung nalaman kong nagising ka, I know I have to take the early flight pero babalik din ako kasi nurse lang ang naiwan kay daddy."

"Sorry I wasn't there to help you with daddy's case."

"Look, I understand, and daddy understands too. We love you. Please don't scare me like that! I can't afford to lose you."

"I'm so useless, Blade. I lost my chance of saving the little girl. I lost the chance of helping you with our father's case and even sucking up about my promise."

"Don't say that. If he loves you, he will understand."

"Yeah, but I am scared. What will happen if he rejects me because he falls out of love after five years? What do you think he will say after seeing me like this? Do you think he will choose an invalid woman for a girlfriend?"

"Ate..."

"I love him, Blade, that's why I came back, but this happens, and now am I gonna be forever like this."

"So, what's your plan?"

"I don't know."

"Stay stronger. I've heard you have the best doctor in the bureau and that two miracle doctors are outside."

"Miracle---yeah, being here alive talking to you is a miracle."

"Your strong woman ate, keep fighting and never give up, ok? I will come back later to watch you for now, and it's best if you rest."

"Thank you, Blade."

Akmang tatakikod na siya pero hinawakan ko ang kamay niya. "Can you do me a big favor, Blade? Please?"

"Oo naman."

"Can you find out about Black Fuentebella?"

"Who is he?"

"My boyfriend, my five years promised guy."