The DJINN who LOVED ME

CHAPTER 5

Another morning, and it was Wednesday. Finally. It was hard to fall asleep last night. I could sleep for only 2 hours. The huddled images of some event I was present in, kept recurring. It wasn't scary, but I think it's related to me losing my memory near the lake. I felt the curious cat within me emanate. My parents were already tensed with everything that transpired yesterday. Apparently, Amine told them about everything. They were so upset. I couldn't stand to tell them about my spooky conclusions. I don't want them to worry more.

My anxiety attacks were frequent now. I would panic at piffling issues. Like in the morning, I became angry at mommy for making me an omelet; all I wanted was scrambled eggs with cheese sandwich. I kept squalling for it. Then I kept screaming at the cockroach I saw near the sofa in living room. I became so annoyed that I trampled it under my shoe. Before, I would bob around in a frenzy, and the cockroach would run away looking at my unruly behaviour! A lot has changed. Sensing my emotional downfall, my parents decided to take me to the psychologist, again. I want to go too. There are questions I seek answer for. Hence, I won't be able to attend lectures today.

Amine and Gulfem decided to come along, but I stopped them. I wanted them to attend college instead of waiting outside the therapy room. I know they want to help, but I don't want them to waste their day for me.

Bidding goodbye to them, I sat inside the cab. No we don't own a car yet. We used to have one when I was younger. But my treatment expenses, tuition fees, miscellaneous needed money; so we sold it. Now I plan to surprise my parents with a car once I get on to my feet. I also have some savings form doing odd jobs, like babysitting, mowing the lawn, housekeeping, and reading stories to grandpas and grandmas at the old age home. Previously, I offered to pay my fees, but my daddy told me to keep it safe. He wants me to use my savings for future plans. I don't know what future awaits me. So, here we go to my therapy session.

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"So, did you get hit on the head, Lelya? Or is it some side effect of...ummm...something that is not good for you?"

"Seriously? You think I'm on some kind of drug. No! I DON'T TAKE DRUGS. Nor did I hit my head..."

"Ley, baby, she is just asking you some routine questions. It's just that..."

"Routine questions my foot! Do I look like a drug addict to her? What kind of a question is that even?"

"Miss Husein, it's important you co-operate with us. Without knowing anything about your current state, we won't be able to help you."

"I'm not an ADDICT you PSYCHO!"

"LEYLA! THAT'S ENOUGH. SHE IS TRYING TO HELP YOU. JUST CO-OPERATE!"

My father shouted at me for my impulsive behaviour. I told you already I'm not in a good state of mind. I'm getting annoyed at everything. I just want to be free of all this. Time and again I see those eyes. Dark, empty eyes. I want to know more about them. They seem like...they are connected to me in some or the other way. But I can't make head or tail of it. Besides, the counsellor's arrow of questions have been shooting continuously for about half an hour; and I'm complete nuts about it.

My doctor, Miss Turhan Gürsoy was a young lady in her mid-thirties. She was a well-known psychiatrist in Turkey. Having completed her masters in clinical psychology, she was currently writing a book on "unnatural causes of psychotic disorder". I actually read about her online. She was the only one who handled cases of 'unnatural' psychos; meaning the cases for the ones who get possessed or something. The reason I called her a psycho. Apparently, she charged double the amount any other psychiatrist would. Had my previous counsellor not recommended her, we would have never thought of coming here. But we were told by Mr. Samuel that my case no longer looks manageable, because of my 'history'. Boy, was I so uncanny?