Our Darkest Deeds (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 1

Dear God,

As I sit here writing this letter to you, I can't help but think that I'm still not sure of what to say. I am supposed to make a choice about my commitment to you before I chose a path that I might never turn back from though how do I do that? There are so much temptation in this world that I doubt it's possible to be faithful.

For instance, I'm to follow you yet at times I masturbate in the bathroom when I take a shower. Or the fact that I have an interest in both boys and girls; I'm a good girl but I am not that good.

I'd like to be able to go to church every day but sometimes I just don't feel like it, also I'd like to continue my Jehovah Witness program - something that I actually enjoy doing - although I am not sure if I can. So much is being asked of me, I feel like one good deed a day should be enough, right?

And once again as I sit here writing this, I feel as though I just sinned; for example, me crushing on this fine ass ...

I snap my diary shut once I see Morgan strutting her way to me.

"Hey there," she said as she sits next me. "What you got there?"

"Um ..." I look down at my diary, resting on my lap and then up at her. "Just my diary," I reply seconds later.

"Sounds cool," she said with honest smile but somehow I feel like she is mocking me.

"Right," I fight the urge not to roll my eyes.

"Anyway, some friends and I are going to the bonfire by Coney Island Beach, want to come?"

"I don't know, do I?" I tilt my head to the side to look at her.

"Oh come on, please?" She pouts her lips.

I stare, right now, they are luscious.

"I'll even come and pick you up, think about it?" She asks.

"I am," I answer. "When is it?"

"Next Friday night," she looks at her phone and then, "currently inviting other people so I have to get a move on." She gets up.

Right, and there I was starting to think that I was special.

She starts to walk away then turn around and say once again, "think about it?"

I paste a smile and reply with, "still thinking."

She blows me a kiss, which made my heart skip a beat, and then vanish.

Once she's gone, I open my diary and write;

And that God is the girl that I almost told you about, Morgan Levine, the school's current hottest girl. The girl, that I, one of your "supposed" follower is crushing on.

See how cruel the world can be?

I sign off with that. I put my remaining lunch in my bag, and then go to creative writing class.

*

Being in Creative Writing class at 9am in the morning on a Saturday has never been so boring, as always but today is exceptional.

I guess it is partially my fault since I wanted to take a writing course at the community college that is near me just to improve my writing creatively. That, and it's required for what I plan to major in once I finish High school - English, specifically in Secondary Education.

Right now what I lack is sleep, and I have a headache plus a stomach ache; further, the classroom is not making my situation any better because I am freezing cold. To the bone.

And guess what? The air conditioner is not even on, when I asked my professor if or not it was possible to turn it off; he said, "there's no air conditioner; it's just noisy, which is disturbing if you ask me."

But I didn't, I just settled on him closing the window.

I glance around the classroom and check my surroundings, there don't seem to be many students here as I thought there'd me but then again it is raining so they might be absent. The remaining ones are probably feeling the same way I feel.

Bored, wanting and waiting to get the fray out of here as soon as possible or that they miss their bed and being snuggled up with a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. I know I do, it's that freaking cold in here.

Even my nipples agree too, not even touched or fondled with and they are perked up under all my layers.

Just couple more minutes, I tell myself and then check my phone, just in time to see the clock turn to eleven forty three. I'm here until twelve or one because I have to make a stop at the school library to print out my assignment for next week.

I sigh.

This is taking too damn long, so long that I am having the urge to either bang my head on the desk, - which would probably label me crazy or possessed - fake illness, or downright ask if I could leave.

I debated my options and wanted to bang my head on the desk but I halt on that when I see Morgan walks by my class, she sees me and wave.

I humph and turn my head away. I've decided that girls like her remind me of how lonely I am.