The Lyrics That Defined Us.

we've lost touch.

19.

I swear I haven't heard from you in a couple days,

We always push and pull, but we never had changed our ways

My head starts to spin, all that we could have been

I knew that things would have to change,

This life full of sins

Spiders crawl through my skin,

And start to fill my heart with rage,

Tell me how you really feel,

And I'll start popping all these pills

Turn my heart into stone and we lost touch,

Turn your back on my soul, and we lost us

Sell my heart for the gold, it don't cost much

Missed calls on my phone,

We've lost touch

—

"So how did it go?" Mary asked oblivious to everything. It was lunch time for them and Soo-Lin and Rob were arriving in a few minutes. "Horrible." Eddy dropped his head down and took out a cold water bottle. Soo-Lin arrived and the first thing she said, was obviously, "So, how did it go, Eddy?" Same reply, "Horrible." Soo-Lin opened her mouth but then shut it quickly, looking like a goldfish.

"Care to explain?" Rob joined the gang. Eddy sighed and repeated everything, how Brett acted, how he replied. "That was that, then I left." Mary reached out to stroke Eddy's arm. "It's okay, you tried. There's nothing you can do now. If he wants to change, then he will. You can't change him." Soo-Lin too, spoke, "Yeah Eddy. What you told him was correct. He should not forget his roots. His friends. These 'friends' he might have had, the one which were common friends of yours, they too will leave him one day. Just like they did to you. Then he'll understand, what having a good, kind hearted, humble friend means. You are a good human, don't let him tell you otherwise." Rob slapped Eddy's back, "Listen Eddy, I don't usually say serious stuff. But you, my man are something else. Listen, I may not have a lot of friends. I may not have that many followers of social media, but what I have, and I know I have is a good heart. You, Eddy, are the same. Yes, you may be a bit less social. Yes, you may be scared to talk. But when you do, whatever you say is correct. We all, listen to me Eddy, we four, we have each other. 4 good and understanding friends are better than 40 fakes. Brett will understand that one day. And when he will, it will be too late."

Eddy was tearing up now. "Thank you." Was all he could say. Maybe that's what he could say, all the time when he was speechless and tied up and bound by love. Those two words came out as a mere whisper, once again.

Going home and falling face-flat on his bed made him realise how much he had actually changed. Eddy forced himself to slide out of his bed and look into the mirror in front him. His reflection calling out his name, this time proudly. In the past, whenever he looked in the mirror, he saw a sad person. A depressed person. And sometimes a person who used to laugh at him for being so miserable.

It was like his reflection used to mock him for being so dejected. It was almost as if the Eddy in the mirror used to beg him to change. Change for the better. Not be such a meagre human.

But now his reflection seemed happier. Seemed more friendly. Almost as if the reflection was ready to have the Eddy on the other side in his arms. Eddy smiled at himself, a little sadly. Sadly, because he was feeling bad. Bad for Brett. He could no longer see this side of Eddy.

Eddy looked at himself, satisfied. He did change. So much, even. But positively. Became a bit more social. Friendly. Became very very confident with himself. His workouts were working too, he could see some muscles. He looked...

...better.

He never looked at himself, and admired the Eddy he saw in his mirror. He always wanted to change and be more like Brett. But he was, in his defence, still a kid. Young, naive. He felt better now. He felt like himself.

He loved himself now.

He understood himself now.

And so he moved on once again, moved on with life. Slowly wiped the heart wrenching memories of Brett. With Mary, Soo-Lin and Robert by his side, he was complete. Another year flew by. They were all in their final year now. And Brett had already passed from Juilliard, and was on the road to become a great soloist. He acted like Eddy never existed. Any comments on his social media regarding the younger man was disregarded, ignored and sometimes even removed. Eddy, of course never saw this. Rob and Mary did. They used to continuously check on Brett's social media to see if he ever apologised. Maybe a dm? An encrypted message? A post? A story? A tweet?

But nothing. Almost as if someone wiped the name Edward Chen from Brett Yang's memory.

Mary and Rob never told Eddy about their secret stalking. They knew he was still weak. No matter how much he acted strong, he had a soft heart. A loving one.

A heart that remembers.