Shivin (SS) : Love after Lockdown

Shot - 19 : Altering the Distress

"Even the strongest heart falls into vulnerable distress, when the fear of losing wins over the love!"

Continuation...

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Shivangi's hurt overtook her heart and she took a step back from Mohsin's hold. He looked at her confused, analyzing her facial expression, which gave me him a weird feeling of something wrong is gonna happen.

Suddenly she sobbed harder and continued, "I didn't finish off yet Mohsin. Jab bolne ka mauka mil hi raha hai, toh purae misunderstandings hi clear kar dete hai aaj".

"Shivangi, yeh tum kya bol rahe ho? Misunderstandings?", he got perplexed.😳

"Yes", she took a deep breath and continued to break both their hearts. One final blow to her confused mind and her love-filled heart.

"I am just lost, when I am away from you. I just can't stay away from you anymore Mohsin. I can't. I am falling more for you. I am falling more and more. It's really scaring me to the core and makes me feel lifeless. In these 4 years, we never stayed away from eachother, not even for a single day and suddenly we spent 3 months away. My whole world felt collapsed, when everytime I missed you. I can't stay away from You Mohsin!", She confessed it openly to him.🧡🌸

Shivangi took few steps in backwards, leaving enough distance between them. Mohsin looked at her frowned, he was totally blank to even blink at the moment. Her weird behaviour didn't give him any good vibe at all and he understood,

"She's overshadowed by her anger and disappointment right now that she ain't able to see things infront of her. I shouldn't interrupt. But what's happening?". He thought to himself!💔🥺

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She spoke, "At some point, I felt like I will break completely, if any of these turns true. Like if we ever go far from eachother, I will just break apart into pieces. I am very afraid to lose you. I just can't live without you and you mean everything to me. My Oxygen to breath, My everything. I just want to spend all my lifetime with you. But I am scared somewhere in between what if we get separated, just like this lockdown. Trust me, I don't want to lose any hopes Mohsin. But I am susceptible to it. Please understand my state and that's why I tried to ignore you as much as I can and prepare myself to face the worst possibility, when I came from Dehradun. Because Life is so unpredictable in every aspect", saying these hard words, she couldn't control anymore she broke down completely infront of him, damaging both of the hearts.

Mohsin was just looking at her, standing devoided by emotions, not knowing how it react to her outburst and hurt guilty written all over his face.💔

But this time a tide of anger was visible in her eyes, hurt, and she spoke in a sharp tone.

"Mohsin? I have been really holding all these inside me for so long, since the day you told me we should take a break from eachother for a while, I mean, not a break-up, but take things slowly and cool, which we decided just before few days of your birthday!", she stopped for a second, remembering something.

"Oh yeah! Not to forget Your birthday Mohsin! I have always been so so excited about your birthday than mine, always! But you have hurt me and you left to Singapore to spend your time. I won't hit on it, because it was about your family. Everyone were happy, especially you were happy to go on a family trip. I have planned a lot for you, but unfortunately I couldn't openly execute. I had that akwardness inside me, when the media started releasing articles stating 'SJ wishes Boyfriend MK'. But I wasn't even sure whether we shared a Boyfriend-Girlfriend relation, when everything between us just revolved around only 'Break and Space'!", she taunted him unwillingly, as she just wanted to take out her frustration.💔🥺

She continued to reason out, "And so I tried to avoid you. You were completely off of US (you and me), After your birthday, slowly you again started opening your feelings for the last few months. I won't blame you, but many people questioned everywhere about our weird behaviour of ignoring eachother. Some thought we are maintaining Privacy. I just couldn't answer anything. How would I? Because even I was confused whether we were dating or not. And I still am!". She stressed on her confusion about their relationship.

That wasn't good at all. Especially, Mohsin didn't feel good about this at all. Come what may, but he never had a doubt on their relationship.

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"Out of all, one thing that didn't change is your care. You care for me immensely. You really care for me, and never backed off from it. You have always displayed it to me and yes, you wished to maintain privacy and I agree, we must still be private. But we must be private to the world, and NOT to eachother Mohsin!!", she cried draining her energy off for the day.🥺💔

Those words made him guilty. He could feel how hurt she is, deep down! Was he either? He wondered, How she held herself singly all these days, while he simply thought taking a break would make them realise eachother's importance and future for them! It may be or may not be correct decision.

"I repeat, We must be private to the world, and NOT to eachother! Aap kab samjhenge?! I love you.. I love you so much, to the extend that I lost myself almost. To the extend, that I can't live without you anymore Mohsin!", She concluded her outburst and taking out all her distress by confessing her fear, her love, expressing and pouring out all her feelings weeping non-stop!😭

He looked at her adynamic state with his tearful eyes. Each and every word from her today has hit him differently. He couldn't even gain courage to hold her, embrace her in his arms. He himself was so scared, if he tries to make a move, she might feel more ungaurded.

"Bu.. but I need some space now", he looked at her plainly. "Yeah! I need some space to re-think about us!". Those words literally pierced his heart. Even hers. It felt like, she was giving the taste of his own medicine!🥺💔

"Wh..what?", he uttered in shock.😨

"Please don't ask me anything further, Mohsin", she wiped her tears saying this and left the place breaking both their hearts into million pieces, leaving Mohsin to stumble back and lean over his car's bonnet in tears behind. He balanced himself holding the bonnet with difficulty, as he felt the ground collapse.

He was registering each and every word of hers in mind. His legs trembled to see her in this condition and, "Sh..she has been suffering all these days and I.. I never had a clue about it! Why! Why I couldn't understand her inner turmoil?".

He cursed himself for causing pain and breaking her heart into so many pieces. His tears didn't support him anymore and flowed like a river.

"What kind of boyfriend am I? I couldn't even understand my love getting hurt all these days". He scolded himself.

He took few more minutes to calm down and went to search for shivangi. But the team at his set told him, she already left. It hurt him. She left him alone here.

"I deserve hate from her. Yes I deserve hate now", he muttered in sadness. One thing that he was happy about, she opened up to him. She finally let the burden off her shoulder, clearing the air instead of keeping it in. And then, he drove off to home lifelessly.🥺🌸

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"Best way to clear the air is
to have it all out in the open!"

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P.S. I really wanted to update this chapter, as it's the highlight of the story. Lol Let's see, after this how things turn in thier favor.

I might take time for the next chapter. Please bare with me. In the current situation, the whole process drains your energy completely! Stay safe guys!

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A/N: Thank you all! Guys, hope you all enjoyed this update. Share, Vote and Comment. Waiting eagerly for your responses! :)🌸✨