Pushed Aside

Threats and Apologies

     I stop by the locker room only to find it mostly empty so I hurriedly close it and walk down to the break room.

      I go to the line and grab a plate, ready to fix my food and look around for Zayvion in the crowd. And when I find him, I curse. He's sitting between Ares and Beth, picking at a salad. I think about going over there and braving the sharks but Ares is using his knife to get food out of his teeth and he looks up, his eyes falling directly to mine as he points at me with his knife.

     Taking the hint and the threat, I make my way outside, cursing myself all over again for fucking up so big yesterday.

     As I eat my food, I try to think of way I could make it up to him without hating myself or making him upset. Which means that date idea is out of the question. Maybe I can ask to come over and cook him dinner.

      Something.

      Anything.

       As much as I try to act like this isn't what I want, as time goes on and the more I'm around him, I can feel that bond getting stronger, basically pulling me towards him. Even today I found myself drifting towards him when I wasn't paying enough attention to where I was going.

     It's like this slight ache in my ribs that only goes away when I'm with him.

      And it's so fucking scary.

      It's like my mind and body are fighting against each other, warring over what J should do. On the one hand, I know that I'm not ready for this and might never be. I know I should just reject him and let him go. But that bond that pulling me towards him and my body thats starting to learn him have different ideas.

     And Zay seems to be caught isn't he cross fire if my mind and body trying to figure out how the hell we figure out this situation.

      And honestly, I don't know who I want to win.

      Which only makes the era in my head worse.

       I shake my head as I try to eat my food, my mind spinning in what I should do.

✨✨✨

       The rest of the day drags slowly as I try to wait until the day is over so say something to Zay. Maybe I should just show up at his house and try from there.

         Maybe I should just give up and walk away now before one or both of us get hurt for this and we can't bounce back.

         Or maybe I should just let Zay come to me on his win and say that he wants to try again. Though I know that's the least likeliest option ti happen.

         There's too many variables and possibilities one hoe this could go. It's like painting, sometimes you don't know what the picture will look like and you just let the stroke of your brush fall to the paper and make it's own path.

         But so far, I don't know how that's working for me. And as the day comes to a close, I finally decide on what I'm going to do.

✨✨✨

        It's about eight now after work and of spent the rest of my time cooking these two plates in my hand. Luckily Bambi has been out of town to see family and she won't come back until the end of next week. I still have time.

       Even if it's only a little.

        Mike isn't talking to me at the moment but he did give a small smile when I told him where I was going.

      When I pull into the parking lot, I open my door and grab my food before closing and locking up my car. I carry the food carefully in my hand as I walk up the stairs to Zay's apartment. I'm glad he told me which it was when I picked him up from just in case he was running late that morning. As I make my way up the stairs I can feel nerves wracking my body at all the possibilities that could happen tonight.

       I raise my fist and knock on the door, holing my breath as step approach the door. When it's opened I come face to afec with a shirtless Zay that sends tiny sparks down my spine.

     He leans against the frame and raising his brows at me, not saying anything but letting me stand there like an idiot.

      "I wanted to come talk about yesterday. I thought maybe we can have dinner. Inside this time. Until I'm ready." I tell him nervously, tasing the food in my hand in offering. He stares at me for a moment before he sighs and opens the door to let me in.

        Maybe things will turn out better today than they did yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~~
I'm going to write one chapter for letting go because one of my favorite people ever was having a and day yesterday and I promised at least one chapter. What do you guys think is going to happen?

Thoughts?

Comments?

QOTD: Ares or Mike? 🔫😠