44. Me

57 20 26
                                    

I don't have to cut anymore,
Your words, they do that for me.
A few months clean,
But the scars, they never heal.

Itching to feel the pain,
Just to feel human again.

Tired, I know how it's gonna be,
Survived it one too many times,
And I know I'll make it out again.

Know how it works,
I'm used to being this way,
Straying away.

It's not who I am,
But atleast I'll find that in the end.

Floating away from reality, oh so painfully.
Space and time, I've lost count of it.

Tic and tok, of the clock,
My heads all over the place.
I know time heals pain but it's doing the opposite for me.

Just trying to find inner peace,
I'm in battle with myself yet again.
Whoever wins, I know I'll lose to myself in the end.

I'm sorry for hurting you,
But where have you been?
I need you most the and now I'm just lost.

I'm sorry for hating you but I'm guilty of doing that again.

Mistakes are lessons but I never learn.
Wish I'd learn and make it easier for me.

I miss you but I forgot how you were.
Never been easy but we get through it in the end.

Was blinded by hate, can't see the light still.
Lost in hatred, drowned in my tears,
Engulfed by the fears that lead me away.

Deafened by my screams,
And blinded by the pain.
Oh I just wanna see beauty once again.

Cries and pleas that fall on deaf ears,
Can you still hear?
Are you still there, oh me?

*~*~*~*
A/N: this is a song I wrote. It doesn't really make sense but neither do I.

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