Pushed Aside

Calling and Time

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       For the first time in over the past week, I don't wake up to the sounds of an alarm but rather by myself with my fan whirring above me and my thoughts somewhat calm.

       After I got home from work last night, I went straight to my room and just laid there in the dark, not thinking, just letting myself lay there as I decompressed from the stressful day I had had. As soon as I felt even a little better I fell asleep and was knocked out all night, a rare occurrence for me.

       But now as I wake up I let myself think of everything that's happened over these past few days as I sit up and push myself from my bed.

        I open the door and trudge down the hallway to the kitchen, happily finding Mikey there with a cup of coffee and his phone in hand. I feel a curious gaze in me since I should be getting ready for work and halfway out of the door by now. I go and make myself a cup of tea before I turn around and take my seat on the island across form his until I rise my eyes to meet his curious ones.

       "What happened?" He asks and I blow out a long breath at the loaded question.

        "I told him I knew, almost broke him. Asked some questions, got some answers, called out to make it all make sense before I have to go back to work and face him again." I tell him briefly and he nods at me in understanding. I feel the question that's been brewing in me since yesterday after lunch. "Mike, what happens if someone rejects the soulmate bond?"

        He looks up at me startled and slightly scared as he answers as if he can't believe I asked it. "The person who does it lives with their pain as well as the other person for the rest of their life. They get no happy ending and sometimes loose the will to live. Why don't you know this and why are you asking?"

       "I didn't think I would grow up and have all this shit happen to me!" I tell him in exasperation but also a shit ton of guilt. I felt so excited when Zay claimed that option and here he was ready to give it all up to only make me happy. "Zay offered it as one of my choices if I didn't want to be with him."

        Mike stares at me before shaking his head and sipping his coffee. "That boy is a dumbass. You're not worth it." He says and I glare at him. He laughs before he gestured for me to continue. "What are the other options?"

       "Date him, never see him, friends with benefits and scheduled meetings. I'm leaning more towards the second option if that would make everyone happy." I tell him and he slams his cup down a little hard.

       "Who would it make happy? Zay would probably slowly starve to death, have to let go of his soulmate and what would you do? Try to force yourself to love a girl you can barely stand to be around anymore? You're gonna marry her? I know this is new for you but fucking hell dude. Get your head out of your ass and let go of your pride. You're starting to like him, he's made for you, just give Zay a fucking chance then revisit these options. You're looking for an easy way out that will put things back to normal, but there isn't one. The sooner you realize that and stop torturing the both of you the better."

       I look wide eyes at a clearly upset Michael as he gets up and shake his head at me as he goes to walk out the room. He stops at the entrance and turns his head slightly to the side to look at me.

       "Zay can't be the only one sacrificing here. I'm starting to wonder if he's the one who should be upset over this whole mating thing." He says and the words hit me like a bullet in the chest. And the shit that makes it worse is that he's right. I haven't be sacrificing anything or tried in any capacity because I'm scared. What if we try and shit doesn't work out. What if I break his heart.

        What if I do fall for a guy, fall for Zay, and I actually like it.

         There's so many factors and decisions that go into this one simpler question. What do I do?

         As I go about my day, running errands and cleaning and going for a walk and laying down to take a nap that'd the one thing that keeps echoing in my head. Because as much as I want Mike to be wrong, he's right as always.  I have to stop being a bitch and put in some effort.

         What do I do?

          He's the only one that's even though or talked about trying to make something work even if he would hate it and it would put him in pain. I see why Ares is so protective over him.

         When I lay down that night, my mind is no longer swirling or a sea of regret and fear.

         I know what to do.

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Okay finally. I'm not going to promise any amount of chapters for Unforgivable I'm just going to write. I love Mike so fucking much. And Ares is daddy. I think Mike and Ares would be good friends.

Thoughts?

Comments?

QOTD: What do you think Elliot is going to say to Zayvion?