Perfect Impurrfections

Fire Hazards

Chapter 5

Twenty minutes later the cab pulled up to the curb outside the restaurant that her date had chosen for the night. It was a quaint little Italian place that Crystal wasn't sure she was going to like. She was already bias though since her and the other staff at the complex already had a favorite Italian place they hung out at. She was going to be really upset if this place wasn't nearly as good.

Walking into the little place the ambiance was pretty good. It was clearly more of a romantic date kind of place then a family eatery. The lights were dim, every table was a little round thing with a white and red checkered tablecloth, and in the center of each one was a red taper candle placed inside a wine bottle for the wax to drip down the sides. Crystal had to admit the atmosphere was lovely and absolutely perfect for a date. Maybe more of a 'you've been dating awhile' date though as it felt a little too intimate for a first date. Perhaps he was a bit presumptuous. She hoped not, breaking the mace out on a first date was a real mood killer but not the first time she would have had to.

She walked over to the hostess podium trying to discreetly smell herself to make sure the cab hadn't left any lingering smells on her. Too bad all she could smell in the restaurant was garlic and Italian herbs. Crystal wished she had thought to sniff check herself before entering. The only plus side was that if she couldn't smell anything perhaps her date wouldn't either. She walked up to the hostess podium giving the woman behind it the name of her date. Crystal thought she detected a slight scrunching of the woman's nose, but she could just be seeing things in the dim lighting. Choosing to not jump to conclusions she waited patiently until the woman motioned her to follow over to a table where a man already sat. In hindsight, the next time her mother handed her information on a blind date she should at least make the effort to check their dating profile out afterwards. It's not that he wasn't her type really, not that she knew what her type was exactly, but she hoped the woman was leading her over to the right person. It would have been nice to know what her date looked like, so she wasn't accidently taking over someone else's blind date. The hostess stood to the side waiting for Crystal to approach before taking her drink order and rushing off.

"Are you Arnold?" Startled the man looked up at her, his eyes widening in surprise as he took her in.

"Y.. y.. yes. Are you Crystal?" Smiling she nodded while offering him her hand. She sighed a little in disappointment when he hesitated before shaking it. Her hand was nearly twice as big as his and almost swallowed his completely when they shook. Sitting down across from him she smiled encouragingly.

"You're really big." He blurted out before turning bright red in the face. Internally Crystal was instantly annoyed but externally she smiled serenely trying to give the guy a chance. The fact that he had stuttered during the introductions meant he was nervous right?

"It's alright, I have heard that before. Did you not read my profile?" She asked innocently unable to help herself. Arnold nodded vigorously before grabbing his glass and downing the contents in one swallow. He looked around anxiously as if he was looking for someone. Crystal hoped he was looking for a waiter and not an escape route.

"So, Arnold do you date often?" Crystal asked trying to draw him into light conversation. Hopefully the date could be salvageable. Nothing had gone too wrong just yet.

"Have you always been a woman?" He quickly asked horror fell on his face as he seemed to realize what he had just asked. Sweat broke out across his forehead as he anxiously waited for her answer.

"Yes, Arnold I have. I have a tall robust family and I'm no different, clearly. I was born with a vagina and I was there when the boobs came in at puberty." She gritted out glaring at the audacious little worm. Now she was looking around for the waiter. Not because she was hungry but because they were supposed to be bringing her alcohol. Crystal sighed in relief as she spotted someone heading their way with a bottle of red. Turning her attention back to her date she caught him breathing out a sigh of relief at the site of the waiter with the bottle as well. As he took a deep breath, he faltered scrunching his nose up in slight disgust. He looked about sniffing around making Crystal watch him with curiosity.

"Do you smell something or is it just me?"

"I smell Italian if that's what you mean." She stated having a feeling that she knew exactly what he was referring to, but she wasn't about to tell him it was probably her. In truth she was over the date and was looking for a way to get out of having to finish the damn thing. She was saved from having him investigate the funky odor any further when the waiter appeared beside the table. The waiter filled Arnold's glass first so he could sniff and taste it. Apparently, no one had taught him wine etiquette as he sat there looking at the waiter who just stood there. Crystal rolled her eyes about to tell him what the poor guy was waiting on when all of a sudden Arnold sprung from his seat.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Silly me, allow me." He grabbed the bottle out of the hands of the waiter startling the poor man with the action. Turning to the table he made to pour Crystal's glass but bumped into the table so hard that it shook the bottle with the candle in the middle. Forgetting what he was doing Arnold reached out to stabilize the candle only to knock it over in the process. Much to Crystal's, Arnold's and the waiter's surprise the tablecloth caught fire, lighting the whole table up. Crystal, who was the only one still sitting at the table jumped out of her seat and backed away. It was a good thing she had too as Arnold jumped into action and threw liquid onto the fire. Unfortunately, the only thing in his hand was the bottle of wine which turned the small blaze into a raging inferno that led right back to Arnold since the wine not only hit the table but also splashed to the floor and on his clothes. Crystal and the waiter had to rush him out of the restaurant before he could stop, drop, and roll.

"Would you like a ride home ma'am?" Asked the officer who had just finished taking her statement. Crystal sighed as she watched a slightly crispy Arnold being loaded into the ambulance. It pulled out onto the street, lights flashing and siren blaring as it drove past the fire truck that was working to put out the restaurant. At least what was left of it. She sighed as she turned back to the officer beside her.

"Iwould appreciate that. Thank you." Crystal trudged through puddles of standingmucky water that had run down the sidewalk from the soggy building. She sighed in relief as the door to thepatrol closed in behind her. She neverthought that if she was put inside a cop car that she would feel good aboutit. She looked back to the restaurantthat the firefighters had now gotten down to a smolder. Laying her head back against the headrest shewas exhausted and just wanted the night to be over. After her silent plea for the date to be doneshe really should be careful what she wished for. The silver lining to the evening would bethat she smelt more like a bonfire now then the smelly cab.