Without You - Niam Horayne

Chapter 10 - William

            “Okay, uh, I like to sing. I always have. Ever since I can remember this has been my dream, and now, it’s actually happening. It’s amazing, really.” I said, smiling just thinking about it.

            “So, you enjoy the fame?” He asked.

            “Well, yeah, I mean, who wouldn’t enjoy the attention? The only thing is that sometimes it gets really intense. I guess every once in awhile I just need a break.”

            “Is that what you were hoping when you hurt yourself? To get a break?” He asked. I froze.

            “No, no, not at all,” I said quickly as my voice raised in volume, “That’s not it,”

            “Liam, it’s okay,” William said, his face looking worried, “Calm down, alright?”

            I just nodded.

            “Alright, let’s go back to where we were,” he said, “You said you need a break sometimes?”

            “Well, yes,” I said, trying to calm myself down. I tried to think of how to explain it, but my mind was spinning. “Uh, I don’t know,” I grabbed my head in my hands.

            “Liam, how are you feeling today?” William asked.

            What kind of question was that? I wasn’t sure how this therapy thing was going. This was supposed to help, but all it was doing was making me feel worse. My thoughts jumped to Niall suddenly. Was he awake? I hoped he didn’t worry about me. Now I wished I had left him a note to tell him where I was. I wonder if he would approve of me seeing Dr. Mullard.

            “Liam?”

            “Oh, sorry,” I said, realizing I had zoned out.

            “It’s okay,” he said, “So, what are you feeling today?”

            “Uh, okay, I guess,” I said, “I woke up really happy and nothing really bad has happened today, so it’s been good so far,”

            “Why did you wake up happy?”

            I froze again. Could I tell him about me being gay? About me falling in love with my band mate? I wasn’t sure. Were you supposed to tell your physiatrist that kind of stuff? The reason I had woken up so happy was because of Niall. He was in my arms, and that alone made me more than happy.

            “Liam, you need to tell me everything if you want me to help you,”

            “I-I, I don’t need help,” I said quietly.

            “Then why are you here?”