Without You - Niam Horayne

Chapter 28 - Fix You, Break Me

 

I have a feeling you guys are going to hate me after this chapter.... Sorry in advance for what is to come....

READ ON!

Liam’s P.O.V.

            As soon as I had calmed down from my panic attack, Niall ushered my shaking body outside and into Paul’s car. We sat in the back, cuddled into one another, and I was still unable to stop my tears. Why was I so pathetic? Why was I so broken? I hated myself for this. I hated every fiber in my being for hurting Niall, for being weak, for everything.

            “Liam,” Niall said, trying to reassure me, “It’s going to be okay,”

            The words were familiar. They were the same words Louis had told me the day of Niall’s fake funeral. For some reason, I despised those words. Because they were lies. Louis had lied to me, and now Niall was lying to me too. Nothing was okay.

            “When you try your best but you don't succeed,” Niall started singing in my ear softly, “When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep…Stuck in reverse….” His singing was nice, low, and soothing. “And the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace, when you love someone but it goes to waste…Could it be worse…” I sucked in a small breath and joined in.

“Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try… to fix you,” I finished singing, and took a deep breath through my shaky lips. Tears still stained my face, but Niall put his thumbs to my cheeks and wiped them.

“I will try… to fix you,” He repeated, his voice ringing through the car.

With the last note, we pulled up to William’s office.

Here goes nothing.

“Liam, are you feeling bad?”

William’s first question was the same as always. How was I feeling? Good, I would normally say, even though sometimes it wasn’t true. But for some reason, I didn’t lie today.

“Yeah, pretty fucking bad,” I said. William looked a little taken back by my language, but didn’t say anything about it, he just scribbled more notes on his paper pad.

“I know you went through some hard things, Liam,” William said, setting down his pen, “I understand that talking about it is going to be hard, okay? I just want you to stick with me. We don’t have a choice. You have to face your problems,”

“I don’t want to,” I said, shaking my head.

“Liam, it’s going to be okay,” William said. There were those words again.

“Stop lying,” I muttered.

“What?” He asked, confused.

“Don’t say everything is going to be okay. Don’t say it. I’ve heard those words too many times,” I said sickly, my stomach twisting into a knot. I wrapped my arms around myself on the couch.

“Do you think I’m lying?” He asked.

“I know you are,” I answered.

“Why?”

“Because! Because that’s what Louis told me at Niall’s fake funeral! That’s what Niall just told me in the car! But it’s always a lie! Nothing is okay, nothing will be okay!” I shouted, frustration boiling and making my stomach twist even more.